-Delile
Ukutholwa kwendoda kungaba ngesinye sezigameko ezihlukumeza kakhulu empilweni yakho. Uma umlingani wakho kunguyena owajola, khona-ke uphoqeleka ukuthi ubheke impilo yakho ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele. Indlela obuka ngayo okwedlule ayifani. Isipho sakho singaba buhlungu kangangoba kungathi umsebenzi uvuka embhedeni ekuseni. Ikusasa lakho lingabonakala lifiphele, noma ungakuthola kunzima ukubona ikusasa. Uma ungumlingani ongathembekile, ungaba nobunzima bokuzibheka wena noma umlingani wakho ngendlela efanayo. Ungaze ungabaze ukuthi ungubani ngoba ubungakaze ucabange ukuthi ungakwenza lokhu. Imibhangqwana eminingi inquma ukuzama ukubhekana nobuhlungu futhi ihlale ndawonye. Kepha ungakwenza kanjani lokho lapho ukwethembana kuqediwe?
Isinqumo
Isinyathelo sokuqala sangempela sokwakha ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki kunquma ukuthi ufuna ukusebenzela ubudlelwano; noma ngabe lesi akusona isinqumo saphakade. Ngokwami ukwenza, imibhangqwana eminingi ingena ekwelulekeni ingaqiniseki ukuthi iyafuna ukuhlala ndawonye noma cha. Ukwelulekwa ngokuqonda kufanelekile kubantu abashadile abazama ukuthola ukuthi bafuna ukulungisa ubuhlobo babo yini. Lesi akusona isikhathi esizedlula zonke sokusebenzela ukwethembana. Kufanele kube nokuphepha ekwakheni ukwethembana kabusha. Lapho umbhangqwana uthatha isinqumo sokuvele “unamathele” lapho udlula engxenyeni enzima ukuyakha kabusha, ungakha ukuphepha.
Thembeka
Ekujuleni kobuhlungu, abalingani abalimele bafuna izimpendulo zemibuzo okungenzeka ukuthi abanamagama abawabuza. Baqala ngokubuza mayelana nokucacisiwe. I-WHO? Kuphi? Nini? Le yimibuzo ephathelene nokudla ebonakala ingapheli. Bayaminza futhi kubonakala sengathi izimpendulo zale mibuzo ukuphela kwento yokulondoloza impilo abangayibona. Iningi lalemibuzo idinga ukuphendulwa ukuze kwakhe kabusha ukwethembana. Ukuvuleka ngokuphelele nokuthembeka (noma ngabe kubuhlungu) kuyadingeka ukuvumela umlingani olimele ukuthi aqale ukwethemba. Izimfihlo ezintsha noma ukungathembeki kuzojulisa ubuhlungu futhi kuhlukanise umbhangqwana. Uma umlingani owonayo enikeza izimpendulo zemibuzo ngaphambi kokubuzwa, lokhu kungamukelwa njengesenzo sokugcina sothando. Ukugcina izimfihlo ngomzamo wokuvikela umlingani kuzala ukungathembani.
Phendula
Uzakwethu owonayo ozama ukubuyisa ubudlelwano ngemuva kokungathembeki kufanele abhekane nokuziphatha kwabo okwedlule nokwamanje. Lokhu kungasho ukunikela ngasese ukuze unetheke umlingani olimele. Eminye imibhangqwana iqasha abaphenyi abazimele ukufakazela ukuthi umlingani owonile okwamanje uthembekile. Eminye imibhangqwana yabelana ngamaphasiwedi futhi ivumela ukufinyelela kuma-akhawunti ayimfihlo. Uzakwethu olimele angacela ukufinyelela nolwazi olungazizwa luphazamisa. Ukwenqaba lokhu kufinyelela kungasho ukuthi ukwethembana akukwazi ukwakhiwa kabusha. Umlingani owonayo angadinga ukunquma phakathi kobumfihlo nokubuyiselwa ngesikhathi esithile enqubweni yokutakula.
Ubudlelwano obulwela ukulahlekelwa ukwethenjwa abupheli. Imibhangqwana eminingi ingakwazi futhi ilulame ngemuva kokutholakala kokungathembeki. Ukululama kudinga umzamo wabo bobabili izinqumo nokuzimisela ukuthi bazokwenza okudingekayo ukuze kusebenze. Uma sesitholakele, ubudlelwano obuningi buphuma buqina kunanini ngaphambili. Kukhona ithemba ekwelapheni, futhi izinto zingangcono.