-Delile
- Ukunqanyulwa akupheli ngomlingo
- Ebuza umshado
- 1. Ingabe ukwesaba kungivimba ekuthatheni isinqumo?
- 2. Ziyini izindleko zokuhlala unqunyiwe
- 3. Yisiphi isenzo esisodwa engingasithatha ukuletha ukucaca okwengeziwe?
Sase sineminyaka eyisishiyagalombili sishadile lapho izingqinamba emshadweni wethu ziba sobala ngokwengeziwe. Ngangifuna ubuhlobo obuseduze, obunothando, nobothando; umyeni wami wayecabanga ukuthi siyaphila. Ngazikholisa ukuthi umyeni wami - owayeyindoda elunge ngempela - wayenezinye izimfanelo ezanele okufanele ngifunde nje ukuziphilela ngaphandle kokuxhumana nothando emshadweni wami.
Ukunqanyulwa akupheli ngomlingo
Ukunqanyulwa phakathi kwethu akuzange kube ngcono ngomlingo ngenkathi kushiywe kungagadiwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi; empeleni, kwaba kubi kakhulu lapho intukuthelo yami ikhula. Futhi ngaleso sikhathi, ngaqala ukungabaza umshado wami. Ngingawenza lo msebenzi unomphela? Ngabe kuyoke kwehluke? Kwanele lokhu?
Ebuza umshado
Futhi ngenkathi ngibuza umshado wami, ngaqala ukukhathazeka, Kuthiwani uma ngenza isinqumo esingalungile?
Lowo mbuzo owodwa, Kuthiwani uma ngenza isinqumo esingalungile? Ingabe yona kanye le nto engigcine nginamathela ekunqunqeni iminyaka eminingi, ngididekile ngokuthi ngihlale noma ngihambe. Ukwesaba ukuzisola kwangenza ngangenqikaza eminye iminyaka emithathu. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile futhi usendaweni yokubuza umshado wakho, wesaba ukuthatha isinqumo esingalungile futhi uzisole ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Nayi imibuzo emi-3 okufanele uzibuze yona
1. Ingabe ukwesaba kungivimba ekuthatheni isinqumo?
Masibe qotho. Kuzizwa kulula ukuhlala ubambekile ekunqunqeni kunokuba kwenza isinqumo. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ukunquma akudingi lutho kithi. Akudingeki ukuthi sithathe izinyathelo ezintsha ezethusayo - njengokuzama ukuxhumana futhi nomlingani okude noma ukuthatha izinyathelo zokukhulula umshado. Kugcina isimo esikhona phakathi kwenu njengombhangqwana futhi noma kungazizwa kahle, lobu ubuhlungu obaziyo ukuthi ububekezelela kanjani ngoba ubenza nsuku zonke.
Ngikhuluma nabantu usuku lonke kanzima emishadweni yabo futhi igama elilodwa engibezwa bekhuluma kaningi kunanoma yiliphi elinye igama linamathele. Futhi into egcina abantu abaningi benamathele ngandlela thile yokwesaba: ukwesaba ukuzisola, ukwesaba ukulimaza ozakwethu noma thina uqobo, ukwesaba ukungabi nemali eyanele, ukwesaba ukuba wedwa, ukwesaba ukuphazamisa izimpilo zezingane zethu, ukwesaba ukwahlulelwa; ungayibiza ngamagama amaningi, kepha emgogodleni wayo inhlobo ethile yokwesaba egcina abantu bekhubazekile. Asikwazi ukuguqula lokho esizimisele ukukubona, ngakho-ke ukuze sidlulise ukwesaba, kufanele sizimisele ukukubona futhi sikubize ngegama. Yini igama lokwesaba okukugcina uzizwa unamathele njengamanje?
2. Ziyini izindleko zokuhlala unqunyiwe
Sihlala singenazinqumo ngenxa yobungozi obubonakalayo, kepha ngokwenza njalo, asinaki ubungozi kanye nezindleko zangempela zokuhlala ekunqumeni. Mhlawumbe usizwile isisho, asikho isinqumo okuyisinqumo. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi kuyisinqumo esingazi lutho sokuhlala ubambekile. Kepha ngoba asisenzanga leso sinqumo ngamabomu, imibuzo iyaqhubeka nokuzungeza ezingqondweni zethu usuku ngalunye izinyanga noma neminyaka, njengolwazi lwami. Lokhu kwengeza ngokusobala emazingeni ethu okuxineka, okusenza singagxili kakhulu, singabi nesineke, sithinte impilo yethu nokulala kwethu, kepha futhi kuvimbela amandla ethu okwenza isinqumo esizwakalayo.
Kube khona ucwaningo oluncane kulokho okubizwa ngokuthi ukukhathala kwezinqumo okufakazela ukuthi izinqumo eziningi okufanele uzenze esikhathini esilinganiselwe, lapho uzizwa uphele ngokwengeziwe engqondweni, uyashesha ukuyeka futhi ngenxa yalokho, kuncane sikuhlomele esinqumweni esizothinta impilo yakho yonke. Futhi ngokungazi uthathe isinqumo futhi uhlale ubambelele ku "mhlawumbe," ingqondo yakho izama ukwenza leso sinqumo njalo lapho yonke imibuzo iqala ukuzungeza. Ukuhlala unamathele ekwenzeni izinqumo kuthinta kanjani impilo yakho?
3. Yisiphi isenzo esisodwa engingasithatha ukuletha ukucaca okwengeziwe?
Lapho singeke senze isinqumo, ngaphezu kokunqoba ukwesaba kwethu, kungenzeka sivele sidinge ukuqoqa imininingwane eminingi. Kungenzeka sidinge ukubona ukuthi ikhona yini indlela yokuxhumana nabalingani bethu ngendlela esingakaze sibe nayo ngaphambili (noma esikhathini eside kakhulu). Kungadingeka ukuthi sizame ukuxhumana futhi siphikisane ngendlela lapho bobabili abantu bezizwa bezwakala futhi beqinisekisiwe. Kungase kudingeke nokuba sichithe isikhathi esithile ukuze sibone ukuthi siyaphuthelana yini noma ukuthi kunenkululeko.
Lapho singenakho ukucaciseleka, sidinga imininingwane ethe xaxa. Kepha uma ungazami lutho, awufundi lutho. Uma uqhubeka ngamaphethini afanayo, uzoqhubeka nokukhiqiza imiphumela efanayo. Futhi kulapho kukhona umjikelezo waphakade wokubambeka ekunqunqeni. Lapho sizimisele ukuthatha ngisho neyodwa entsha, isenzo esincane esizinika sona ithuba lokusondela ekucaceni futhi ekugcineni sifike esinqumweni esingasithemba ukuthi sizifanele thina. Yisiphi isenzo esisodwa ongasithatha kuleli sonto ukukusiza ukuthi uthole ulwazi oluthe xaxa mayelana nokuthi umshado ungaphinde uzizwe kamnandi na?
Ucingo lokugcina
Ekugcineni ngase ngithathe isinqumo sokushiya umshado wami wokuqala, kepha kwangithatha iminyaka ukwenza leso sinqumo. Kwamanye amaklayenti ami, sekuphele amashumi eminyaka ekunqumeni. Ngesinye isikhathi, ubuhlungu bokuhlala unganqumi - ungalokothi uqhubekele phambili futhi ungaphinde uzinikele ngokuphelele ebudlelwaneni - buba buhlungu kakhulu futhi ekugcineni bakulungele ukucaciseleka kwangempela. Mhlawumbe ukuthatha isikhathi sokuphendula ngokweqiniso le mibuzo emithathu kuzokusiza ukuthi ungabe usazizwa unamathele ekunqikithini futhi usondele eduze kwempendulo yakho, ngomshado wakho kanye nempilo yakho.