-Delile
- Imephu Yothando; yini ngaphakathi kwayo
- Ukugcina amamephu othando evuselelwa lapho imibhangqwana isilela khona emuva
- Kungani amabalazwe othando ebalulekile?
- Amamephu wothando awumshwalense
- 1. Inkulumo yomcamelo
- 2. Ezothando ezijulile
UJohn Gottman ukholelwa ukuthi i-Love Maps yizinto ezibalulekile nezibalulekile ezidingekayo ekwenzeni umshado usebenze ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kepha iyini ngempela iMephu Yothando?
Imephu yothando ulwazi onalo lozakwenu. Lapho usukwakhe imephu yothando, uzoba nomlingani wakho ekubambeni kwakho.
Noma kunjalo, akulula kangako. Lapho wazi okuningi ngomunye wakho obalulekile, imephu yothando iyoba nothe futhi ibe ngcono.
Manje yini engena ngaphakathi kwemephu yothando futhi isebenza kanjani? Ukuthola lokhu, qhubeka ufunde.
Imephu Yothando; yini ngaphakathi kwayo
Ukuze wakhe imephu yothando, kuzofanele wazi ngezinto ezithile ezijwayelekile nangezinye izinto ezingavamile ngomlingani wakho.
Isibonelo salokho okungena ngaphakathi kwemephu yothando kufaka:
- Yisho abangani bami abakhulu
- Yisho enye yezinto engizithandayo
- Yiziphi izingcindezi engibhekene nazo empilweni yami
- Yini indawo engiyithandayo yokubalekela
- Uyini umsebenzi wami omuhle
- Yini ukudla engikuthandayo
Ukubuza imibuzo enjalo ngeke kukusize nje ukuthi uthole ukuqonda okwengeziwe ngezimpilo zophathina wakho kepha futhi kuzothola nokubukeka okuningiliziwe ngomhlaba womlingani wakho. Kodwa-ke, khumbula ukuthi ukwazi ngomlingani wakho kuyinkqubo eqhubekayo futhi kufanele nigcine njalo; thatha isikhathi nomunye futhi nibambe.
Khumbula lapho uzokwazi kakhulu ngomunye nomunye ukuxhumana kuzoba namandla, futhi ubuhlobo bakho buzoba bukhulu kakhulu.
Ukufingqa ukuthi amamephu wothando enziwe ngani; izinhloso namaphupho, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka, amadolobha owathandayo, amaholide, ukudla, njll kanye nemicimbi emikhulu eyenzeka empilweni yomlingani wakho.
Ukugcina amamephu othando evuselelwa lapho imibhangqwana isilela khona emuva
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, kulula kakhulu ukwakha amamephu wothando. Njengoba isikhathi sihamba kuvame kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana iqale ukuthathelana phansi futhi igweme ukubuyekeza amabalazwe othando lomunye nomunye noma ibuzane nangosuku lwayo.
Ukuyeka ukunakekela noma ukukhishwa ekuhlukanisweni kungaba uphawu lokuqala lokukhaphela futhi kungadala ukuthi uthando oluhle luphele.
Kungani amabalazwe othando ebalulekile?
Izithandani ezihlala komunye nomunye isikhathi eside zisebudlelwaneni ngesizathu. Isizathu asilona ucansi olukhulu, amandla entando noma ukuntuleka kwezimpikiswano kepha kunalokho yingoba bayathandana. Isizathu salokhu kufana ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazana kangakanani.
Ngaphandle kwemephu yothando kungaba nzima ukuthi wazi ngomlingani wakho futhi uma ungamazi, ngeke umthande.
Ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle kwemephu yothando kungathumela umyalezo omubi; uma ungazimisele ukukhipha isikhathi futhi wazi ngomlingani wakho futhi nixoxe naye nsuku zonke-ke ningahlala kanjani ndawonye kuze kube phakade naphakade.
Amamephu wothando awumshwalense
Amamephu wothando asebenza njengomshuwalense womshado wakho; imephu ejulile yothando isebenza njengesisekelo esiqinile somshado wakho, futhi ngokufanayo, ebuthakathaka isebenza njengesisekelo esibuthakathaka.
Imibhangqwana enemephu ecebile kakhulu ingabhekana kangcono nezikhathi zokucindezeleka ezenzeka ezimpilweni zazo. Imephu yothando eqinile ingaqinisa isibopho onaso futhi ngokufanayo leyo ebuthakathaka ingakwenza ulahlekelwe yinkomba lapho izinto ziba nzima emshadweni wakho.
Izibonelo zemephu yothando
Okushiwo ngezansi kunezibonelo ezimbalwa zemephu yothando ebudlelwaneni:
1. Inkulumo yomcamelo
Kwesinye isikhathi izingxoxo zokulala zingaba yisikhathi esikahle sokunweba imephu yakho yothando. Ngalesi sikhathi bobabili abalingani basengozini futhi bazizwa bexhunyiwe okwenza kube yisikhathi esifanele sokuxoxa ngempilo yomunye nomunye, izinkathazo, ukwesaba nokuningi.
2. Ezothando ezijulile
I-movie Ngaphambi Kokuphuma kwelanga yisibonelo esihle samamephu wothando ajulile. I-movie yonke isuselwa kwezothando lomlingo lokwazi umlingani wakho ngokungafani namuntu owake wakwenza.
Ngokufanayo, i-movie Fargo iyisibonelo sobudlelwano ngaphandle kweMephu Yothando. Le movie ithumela umyalezo ocacile wokuthi uma ungazi lutho ngophathina wakho bese kuthi "Ngiyakuthanda" kuzwakala kungelutho.
Ukukufingqa, kungani noma ngubani kufanele anakekele ngamamephu othando nokwazi umlingani wakhe kangcono? Impendulo yalokhu ithi; lapho uzokwazi kangcono umlingani wakho buyaqina futhi buqine ubuhlobo bakho.
Lapho uzocela kakhulu umlingani, uzothola ukunakekelwa okwengeziwe nokunakekelwa okwengeziwe. Lapho wabelana kakhulu, ubuhlobo bakho bobuhlobo buzojula, nekhwalithi ephezulu yobudlelwano bakho izothola.