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-Delile
- Hloniphanani
- Khumbula ukusethwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale ingxoxo
- Ukuthumela imiyalezo noma ukuthumela i-imeyili ukuveza ulaka akuyona indlela engcono yokuxhumana
- Sebenzisa amathuluzi wokuxhumana anempilo kukho konke ukuxhumana
- Bona umehluko phakathi kokuxhumana okungenampilo nokunempilo
- Yiba isilaleli esihle
- Yisho okudingayo
Ukukhulumisana ngendlela enempilo kufanele kube seqhulwini kuhlu lwazo zonke izithandani. Imibhangqwana ebeka imali phambili ekugcineni ubudlelwano bayo buqinile ifunda ukukhulumisana ngendlela enempilo komunye nomunye. Abaphenyi ePew Research Center bathola ukuthi imibhangqwana ejabule kakhulu iba nezingxoxo ezizuzisayo isilinganiso samahora amahlanu ngesonto. (Lokhu kungaphandle kwengxoxo ejwayelekile ye-chit.) Yiziphi ezinye zezimfihlo zokuxhumana okunempilo kwemibhangqwana?
Hloniphanani
Hlala ukhuluma nomlingani wakho sengathi umngane wakho omkhulu. Ngoba ukuqagela ini? Kunjalo! Amagama akho, ukukhuluma komzimba kanye nezwi lakho kuyizinkomba zokuthi umbheka kanjani oshade naye. Imibhangqwana ehloniphanayo, noma ngabe iyaxabana, ayithethisani noma ikhombise ukudelelana. Esikhundleni salokho, bashintshana ngemibono engafani besebenzisa amagama asiza ukudlulisa imibono yabo nemibono yabo ngaphandle kokubukela phansi abalingani babo. Bangaphinde basabalalise impikiswano ngamahlaya futhi bangavumela amaphuzu ambalwa kwabalingani babo lapho bebona ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi balungile, phela!
Khumbula ukusethwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale ingxoxo
Awufuni ukuvula ingxoxo ebalulekile lapho umyeni wakho ephuma emnyango ngomsebenzi, noma udinga ukuya esibonelweni. Abaxhumanisi abanempilo bahlelela isikhathi salezi zingxoxo ukuze u-1) nobabili nilungiselele ingxoxo no-2) nisebenzise isikhathi namandla adingekayo ukuze nikhiphe udaba ngokuphelele futhi niqinisekise ukuthi nobabili uthola ithuba uzwakale.
Ukuthumela imiyalezo noma ukuthumela i-imeyili ukuveza ulaka akuyona indlela engcono yokuxhumana
Imibhangqwana eminingi isebenzisa lezi zindlela, noma kunjalo, ngoba ukumba udaba olubucayi, olungaholela ezingxabanweni, kulula ukukwenza uma ningabhekani ubuso nobuso. Kepha ukufihla ngemuva kwesikrini kungabonakala njengokuhlukumeza, futhi akuvumeli konke ukucasula okungokomzwelo okungavezwa ingxoxo yomuntu nomuntu. Noma kungabonakala kulula ukuxhumana nge-imeyili noma ngombhalo, gcina lezo zindlela ukuthola “okungeziwe” okuncane okungaphakamisa inhliziyo yomlingani wakho phakathi nosuku: imibhalo ethi “ukucabanga ngawe” noma “Ukulahlekile”. Ezingxoxweni ezidinga ukunakekelwa ngokugcwele, qiniseka ukuthi ubakhona ngokomzimba nowakwakho ukuze ukhuthaze ukugeleza kwemizwa ngokwemvelo. Ukukhuluma ubuso nobuso kusondelene kakhulu kunokuthumela imiyalezo, futhi ekugcineni kuzonisondeza ndawonye njengoba nisebenzela ukuxazulula inkinga eseduze.
Sebenzisa amathuluzi wokuxhumana anempilo kukho konke ukuxhumana
Ungalondolozi amakhono wokuxhumana anempilo ngezihloko ezinkulu, njengesabelomali, amaholide, izindaba zabasekhweni noma imfundo yezingane. Lwela njalo ukwenza amasu amahle wokuxhumana ngokushintshana ngakunye. Ngaleyo ndlela uzolungela ukufinyelela la mathuluzi lapho udinga ukuhlasela “izihloko ezinkulu”; uzobe uzijwayeze kakhulu ukuthi ukuxhumana okunempilo kube yimvelo yakho yesibili!
Bona umehluko phakathi kokuxhumana okungenampilo nokunempilo
Abaxhumanisi abangenampilo basebenzisa izindlela zokumemeza, zokumemeza, zokushaya isibhakela noma zokuthi “buthule” ukuze baveze iphuzu labo. Imibhangqwana elwa ngale ndlela ingenza ingozi enkulu emzimbeni nasengqondweni, ngokucindezelwa kwegazi, ukuqina kwesifuba nobuhlungu, kanye ne-hyperventilation. Labo abenza "ukuphathwa buthule" kokukhulumisana bafaka ngaphakathi intukuthelo yabo eholela ekutheni umzimba uqinise, okuholele ebuhlungwini beqolo, emihlathini ebuhlungwini nasekhanda. Ngenhlanhla, ukubona lezi zindlela zokuxhumana ezingenampilo kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokufunda ukuxhumana kangcono usebenzisa amathuluzi azokusiza wena noshade naye ukuvula inkhulumomphendvulwano ngezindlela ezingeke zilimaze imizimba yenu nobudlelwano. Uma uzwa ukuthi izinto ziyafudumala, thatha "isikhathi sokuphuma" kuze kube yilapho ungaphola futhi usethe kabusha ingqondo yakho. Hambani kude komunye nomunye, bese ningena esikhaleni esinokuthula nesingathathi hlangothi. Lapho senibuye nathola umoya wokuzola, buyani ndawonye, nihlale nikhumbula isidingo sokuhlala nivulekile ukuze nilalele okushiwo omunye.
Yiba isilaleli esihle
Abaxhumanisi abanempilo bayazi ukuthi ukuxhumana kwenziwa ngezingxenye ezilinganayo ezikhulumayo nezilalelayo. Khombisa oshade naye ukuthi ulalela ngenkuthalo lokho abelana ngakho (hhayi nje ukucabanga ngalokho ozokusho uma sebeqedile) ngokuhlala ubabheka emehlweni, uvume ngekhanda, uthinte ingalo yabo noma enye ingxenye yomzimba yabo engathathi hlangothi. Lezi zimpawu zikhombisa ukuthi uhlanganyela engxoxweni. Uma sekuyithuba lakho lokukhuluma, qala ngokuphinda ukuqonda kwakho lokho okushiwoyo. “Kuzwakala sengathi kunokudideka okuthile ngendlela esisingatha ngayo isabelozimali sasekhaya,” kuyisibonelo sokulalelisisa. Uma udinga ukucaciselwa okwengeziwe nganoma yiliphi iphuzu, ungalicela ngokuthi: “Angicacelwa ukuthi usho ukuthini ngempela ngalokho. Ungakwazi ukunweba kulokhu ukuze ngikuqonde kangcono? ”. Lokhu kungcono kune- “Uhlala njalo ucuphe kakhulu!”
Ukulalela kuwubuciko. Enye yezimfihlo zokuxhumana okunempilo kwemibhangqwana ifaka ukuphelelisa ikhono lokulalela elihamba ibanga elide ekuvimbeleni izindaba ezingasho lutho ukuthi zande ngokukhuluma nje okulula umlingani wakho akushoyo.
Yisho okudingayo
Abaxhumanisi abanempilo abashiyi lutho lube sethubeni; basho izidingo zabo. Oshade naye akayena umuntu ofunda izingqondo (njengoba besingathanda ukuthi lokhu kube yiqiniso.) Lapho oshade naye ekubuza ukuthi bangakusiza kanjani, akunampilo ukuthi “Hhayi, ngiyaphila.” lapho empeleni, udinga usizo ukuze, uthi, ukuhlanza ngemuva kokudla kwakusihlwa. Baningi bethu abenza le nqubo, bese bethukuthele buthule lapho sibona oshade naye ehlala phansi phambi kwe-TV ngenkathi thina sisalelwe ukugeza izitsha, konke lokhu ngoba asishongo esikudingayo. “Ngingasebenzisa isandla lapho ngigeza khona; uncamela ukugeza noma ukusula izitsha? ” kuyindlela enhle yokubeka izidingo zakho futhi unikeze oshade naye ithuba lokukhetha kulo msebenzi. Khumbula ukubabonga ngokusiza kwabo; kuzosiza ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bakhuphukela epuletini ngokuzayo ngaphandle kokuthi ubuze.
Lokhu kuya nezidingo ezihlobene nomsebenzi. Abaxhumanisi abanempilo bazosho abakudingayo ukuze basizakale ngokomzwelo; abalindi ukuthi abalingani babo baqagele. “Ngizizwa ngidangele impela njengamanje futhi sengingakwazi ukunganga,” yindlela elula yokucela ukuthintana nabantu abasekelayo ngemuva kosuku olubi.
Ukufunda amasu okukhulumisana okunempilo kwemibhangqwana kuyindlela eqinisekisiwe yokuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ubugcine busendleleni yothando. Uzothola ukuthi ukusebenzisa lezi zindlela kuzo zonke izici zempilo yakho, noma ngabe usemsebenzini noma usekhaya, kuzovuna imivuzo emikhulu maqondana nenhlalakahle yakho yonke ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.