-Delile
Lapho konke kuhamba kahle ebudlelwaneni, abalingani abangajwayele ukucabanga ngokweqile nokuhlaziya izinto futhi bakuthathe kalula konke. Kodwa-ke, kusukela lapho kuvela izinkinga zokuqala, baqala ukuzibuza bona. Lokhu kuvamile empilweni yothando kuyo yonke imibhangqwana eshadile.
Ngabe bakutholile abakulindele emshadweni wabo? Ingabe imbangela yalezi zinkinga? Ngabe umlingani wabo nguyena ofanele?
Lokhu kujwayelekile futhi ukuzibuza yinto okufanele uyenze njalo ngesikhashana uma ufuna ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ube ngumuntu ongcono.
Umshado wanamuhla
Iyini incazelo yangempela yomshado?
Umshado ungenye yezikhungo ezibaluleke kakhulu kepha manje, uphelelwa ngamandla ngokushesha.
Kodwa-ke, akuyona into engavamile ukuzwa izindaba ngabashadile abashiye abalingani babo, into eyayingavamile kakhulu esikhathini esidlule. Umphakathi awukwahluleli lo mkhuba empilweni yothando yabo bonke abashadile.
Yize kungafanele silishaye indiva iqiniso lokuthi kubonakala sengathi imibhangqwana eminingi kakhulu isebenzisa isehlukaniso njengesixazululo yize kukhona isikhala sokwenza ngcono. Umshado nesehlukaniso kuthathe elinye igxathu futhi njengoba umhlaba ushintsha, izinguquko zamukelwa yizithandani zesimanje.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu baphinde bawushintsha umbono wabo — kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuthi abantu abasha ababili bahlale ndawonye ngaphambi komshado futhi bafunde kabanzi ngomunye nomunye. Le yinqubomgomo eyodwa yomshado eyamukelwa cishe yonke indawo.
Noma kunjalo, uthando lukhona, noma ngabe sikhuluma ngozakwethu, umzali, noma uthando olunobungane, into efanele umzamo.
Kulezi zinsuku, lapho abantu abaningi bengaphansi kwengcindezi yezinkinga zansuku zonke, ikakhulu lezo ezikhona, umshado nobudlelwano kuvame ukunganakwa. Abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi indima yothando emshadweni nobudlelwano besikhathi eside yinto engokwemvelo. Kepha, akunjalo?
Izigaba zobudlelwano
Kunezigaba eziningana lapho bonke ubudlelwano budlula khona.
Isigaba sokuqala kuvame ukuchazwa njengokuthandana noma ukuba nothando. Empilweni yothando yabo bonke abashadile, lesi isigaba sokuthandana nokuheha.Ngamazinga aphezulu e-dopamine, i-oxytocin, ne-norepinephrine, kungaba nemiphumela emibi yalawa makhemikhali afana nokuqwasha noma ukulahlekelwa isifiso sokudla.
Ividiyo engezansi ichaza amakhemikhali othando nokuthi alawula kanjani indlela esizizwa ngayo.
Kukhona umuzwa wenjabulo esigabeni sokuqala sobudlelwano. Lona umuzwa abantu abanawo ekuqaleni kobudlelwano lapho bekholelwa ukuthi ekugcineni bathole umlingani ofanele.
Isigaba sesibili yisigaba esibucayi sobuhlobo. Kulesi sigaba, konke kucaca kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Kukhona umehluko phakathi kwesigaba sokuqala nesesibili sobudlelwano.
Kulesi sigaba, baqala ukubuza imikhuba abayenze kulesi sikhathi esifushane. Isibonelo, ukuvakashela abazali bomlingani wabo, uqaphele ukuthi umlingani usebenza kakhulu, njll.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, omunye umlingani uzoqala ukwenza imikhuba abekade beyenza ngaphambilini njengokuzijabulisa, ukunakekela umdlalo wabo, njll. Ebudlelwaneni obuphumelelayo, kunesigaba sokulungiswa. Lesi yisikhathi lapho ubudlelwane buba bucayi futhi lesi yisikhathi esivame ukuholela emshadweni.
Isigaba sesithathu isigaba sokusebenza labo abashadayo bethola ukulingana ebudlelwaneni. Kukhona ukuthula, ukuzola, nokwamukelwa ebudlelwaneni.
Kulesi sigaba, nobabili niyamukelana ngokuphelele futhi niyazi ukuthi kufanele nisebenze kanjani emaphutheni omunye nomunye. Impilo yothando yayo yonke imibhangqwana eshadile kulesi sigaba ifinyelela ezingeni lokuba sekhaya. Nobabili niyazana kakhulu futhi nithola ukuzwana komunye nomunye.
Isigaba sesine isigaba sokuzibophezela lapho nobabili senizuze okuthile okungajwayelekile. Nobabili niyayiqonda incazelo yangempela yothando. Lapha, ubudlelwano bufinyelela esigabeni esikhulu lapho ukuzibophezela kusuka enhliziyweni nasengqondweni.
Ubheke phambili ohambweni olusha lwezinye izinhloso zobudlelwano, ikhaya, nezingane.
Isigaba sesihlanu isigaba sangempela sothando. Kulesi sigaba, nobabili niyasebenza futhi niyazethemba ngothando empilweni yasemshadweni. Impilo yothando yayo yonke imibhangqwana eshadile iyashintsha kulesi sigaba njengoba iqala ukubheka phambili ezintweni ezingaphandle kobuhlobo bazo.
Kungenzeka yini ukuba sothandweni ingunaphakade?
Baningi abantu abadida uthando nomshado.
Ngakho-ke, luyini uthando emshadweni? Ungakhombisa kanjani uthando emshadweni?
Uthando umuzwa osenhliziyweni futhi ukubambisana imvamisa kungumsebenzi lapho kudingeka khona ukuthi uqedele “imisebenzi” efana nokuhlanza, ukupheka, ukunakekela izikweletu, ukufundisa izingane, ukuhlangana kwabantu abasondelene, njll. Ukuthandana kuthatheka olukhona lapho abantu ababili betholana .
Vele, lokhu akusho ukuthi impilo yothando yayo yonke imibhangqwana eshadile yinto engaqondakali. Uthando lubaluleke kakhulu emshadweni. Kepha kuyamangaza ukuthi bangaki abantu abahluleka ukuqonda ukuthi uthando lusho ukuthini emshadweni futhi bachitha imishado yabo.
Isibonelo, abantu bavame ukuxuba uthando nokuba nezinto. Akukho lutho olungahambi kahle uma omunye wabalingani eya emdlalweni webhola noma embukisweni wemfashini nabangane babo. Kukhona nezimo lapho omunye wabalingani athembele kakhulu komunye umlingani. Kunzima kakhulu ngomuntu oyedwa ukuthi "athwale isisindo" sabantu ababili.
Impilo yothando yayo yonke imibhangqwana eshadile yinto okufanele yaziswe futhi ibongwe. Kunezinto ezithile njengokuxhumana okuhle, ukuthintana ngokomzimba, nokuphuma enkambisweni njalo ngezikhathi ezithile ezingathuthukisa impilo yothando yemibhangqwana eshadile ejabule futhi yakhe impilo ephumelelayo yomshado.