-Delile
- Inselelo yokuthola ulwazi lwezinkanuko ezicebile emshadweni
- Ukukhukhuleka - inkinga enkulu ekubambisaneni kwesikhathi eside namuhla
- Impilo engokomzimba iyiglue yemilingo esigcina sisondele
- Sebenzisa amasu enqunu ukuqinisa ukusondelana
- Bekela eceleni isikhathi sosuku onqunu
- Vuselela ukuzenzekela
- Khombisa uthando
- Hlola okuningi
- Ukwakha isisekelo esiqinile sothando ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
Uma sifuna ukuthandana okwanelisa ngokweqiniso, ukuthandana nomuntu oyedwa nokuba nesithandwa emshadweni wethu, sifika kanjani emhlabeni?
Izimpilo zethu zimatasa futhi zicindezelwe ngayo yonke imisebenzi nezibopho zomshado nezempilo yomndeni; impilo yethu yomsebenzi iyadingeka, futhi sinezidingo zokuphumula nokuzivocavoca umzimba, ikhaya elidinga ukunakekelwa, nokulangazelela uhlobo oluthile lobuciko nokuphumula. Singaba nabazali asebekhulile abadinga ukunakekelwa kwethu noma ingane enezinkinga esikoleni, noma uphahla oluvuzayo — futhi konke kufanele kubhekelelwe.
Inselelo yokuthola ulwazi lwezinkanuko ezicebile emshadweni
Ngakho-ke sizigcina kanjani izinhloko zethu nemizimba yethu kwezocansi kanye nokusondelana nomlingani wethu kukho konke lokho? Ngabe sithola kanjani isipiliyoni senkanuko ecebile futhi ecebile ebudlelwaneni bethu futhi sakhe umuzwa ojwayelekile wokugcwaliseka emasontweni ethu sindawonye?
Ngikhumbula ngisezindlini zokushintshela nezintombi zami eminyakeni eyedlule, futhi sasisho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Angisoze ngahlala ebudlelwaneni uma besingayi ocansini okungenani kathathu noma kane ngesonto.” Manje zona lezo zintombi zivuma buthule ukuthi bezingasondelani nabalingani bazo ezinyangeni. Kanjani?
Akukhona ukuthi asibathandi abalingani bethu. Kungukuthi impilo yabantu abadala isisusa emadolweni, futhi ukugxila kwethu kwezocansi nokusondelana kudliwa ngumsebenzi nomthwalo wemfanelo.
Ukukhukhuleka - inkinga enkulu ekubambisaneni kwesikhathi eside namuhla
Ngikholwa ukuthi udaba lwethu olukhulu ekubambisaneni isikhathi eside namuhla yilokho engikubiza ngokuthi ukukhukhuleka. Siyazi ukuthi siyathandana, asikho enkingeni, asikopeli noma siyonakalisa komunye nomunye, kodwa asikwazi luzwa uthando lwethu. Kungani singezwa?
Asikwazi ukuzwa uthando lwethu ngoba asihlanganyeli kulo. Asizibandakanyi nobumnandi nothando olwakha ukuthula ndawonye, noma uthando olusiza ekwakheni isifiso, noma ubulili obuqonde phambili kanye nesikhathi sokusondelana esinqunu esisivula futhi esivumele singene ngabanye. Njengomphakathi, asizinikeli ngezinto zomshado noma ubambiswano ezisekela ukusondelana, ngakho-ke siba yizisulu zalokho engikubiza ngokuthi "umuntu ohlala naye," noma "ukufa kombhede womshado."
Futhi asikufuni lokho. Lapho ubudlelwano bethu buhlushwa ukukhukhuleka, sizizwa siqhelelene — kusuka othandweni lwethu, othandweni lwethu, nasekuxhumaneni kwethu okungokwemvelo nokuzibophezela kwethu.
Impilo engokomzimba iyiglue yemilingo esigcina sisondele
Impilo yethu evusa inkanuko yileli glu lomlingo elisigcina sisondelene; i-barometer yokuthi sisebenza kanjani komunye nomunye. Ngakho-ke singalwa kanjani nokukhukhuleka, futhi sifinyelele othandweni esazi ngempela ukuthi sinalo?
Nakhu: Kufanele sibe nomkhuba wothando. Sonke siyazi ukuthi uma sifuna ukuzilolonga noma ukufunda ukupheka noma ukufunda ikhono — ukukhuluma isiFulentshi, ukwenza i-yoga, ukudlala isiginci — lokho kuba ngcono ngokuzijwayeza. Nge isikhathi-ngaphakathi. Futhi yilokho esikulandela ngemuva kwezothando. Umkhuba wakho, ngakho-ke sizwa uthando lwethu kunokukhuluma ngalo nje.
Sebenzisa amasu enqunu ukuqinisa ukusondelana
Ngabe, empeleni, sifinyelela kanjani othandweni esithi silufuna? Nakhu ukuthi kanjani: sizitholela isethi elula Uze amasu. Izenzo ezimfushane nezimnandi ezisenza sisondelane ngokushesha futhi kalula. Encwadini yami entsha, Umshado Wenqunu, Nginikeza lawa macebiso:
Ukuze senze ubuhlobo bethu bube sexier, bunempilo futhi busondelene kakhulu, sidinga:
- “Usuku Lweze” masonto onke olunehora noma amabili angaphazanyiswa ngokusondelana nobulili.
- Ucansi lusekelwe ekugcwalisekeni ngokuhlanganyela, ngakho-ke sifuna ukubuya ukuthola okuningi.
- Imihlahlandlela yokuthandana okusisiza ukuthi sigcine izinkanuko zethu, noma ngabe simatasa.
- Amasu alula emphefumulweni wokungena komunye nomunye
- Sula amasu emali yethu, ukuba ngumzali kanye nokukhetha indlela yokuphila ukuze ingcindezi yezezimali neyomndeni ingavimbi indlela yethu eya egumbini lokulala
Ngakho-ke ake sikhulume ngolokuqala lwalezi zeluleko
Bekela eceleni isikhathi sosuku onqunu
Yini usuku olunqunu? Yilokho nje okuzwakala kunje: yisikhathi osibekela eceleni, isonto ngalinye — masonto onke — sokuthi nihambe ninqunu futhi nisondelane. Ingabe kufanele kube ngokocansi njalo? Cha, akunjalo ngempela. Imibhangqwana eminingi izothola ukuthi isenzo sokuhamba nqunu komunye nomunye sizohlala sikhiqiza umuzwa wezocansi. Esikulandelayo - ezocansi noma inkanuko — isenzo sokusondelana — ukuba nqunu, nokuvulelana, nokuzimisela ukusondelana njalo.
Ngiyazi, ngiyazi. Ucabanga, “Hheyi! Isifiso sami asivele sivule futhi sicime ngesikhathi esibekiwe. Kuyahluka! ” Futhi lokho kunengqondo ngokwanele. Kepha esikulandelayo othandweni lwesikhathi eside yi- inkomba ngothando olusiphula ukunganaki — ngokulinda nokubuka kwethu, ukugwema nokudada ukubona ukuthi umlingani wethu “usesimweni sengqondo” —nalokho, kusinikeza inkomba ukukhombisa uthando. Sifuna ukwakha emzimbeni nasengqondweni yethu indlela yasePavlovian yokusondelana ukuze sifinyelele othandweni esithi sifuna.
Lapho kukhulunywa okokuqala ngqá ngqunu, iningi labantu lizothi, “Hheyi, isifiso sami asikwazi ukuvela, ngesikhathi esimisiwe!” Futhi ngithi, yebo ingakwazi. Futhi, eqinisweni, thina funa kuya ku. Ukusetha isikhathi esinqunyelwe, esijwayelekile sothando nezocansi kuyikhambi lokukhukhuleka. Sifuna imizimba nezinhliziyo zethu zivuke ngehora elithile, sibeke eceleni izinto ezicindezelayo zomhlaba, bese sihamba-ze, siseduze komunye nomunye.
Ukwenza lo msebenzi, kufanele sibhekane nenqubo eyodwa yokucabanga ebhaliwe esibe nayo kusukela eminyakeni yethu yokuthandana: sikholelwa ukuthi ucansi kufanele lube yinto ezenzekelayo — ukuthi kufanele sigijime emasimini kakolweni sibhekane komunye nomunye ngokuvumelana okuhle, siklebhula ngamunye ezinye izingubo zikhumuliwe.
Vuselela ukuzenzekela
Kepha umshado nobudlelwano besikhathi eside akuzona izilwane ezizenzekelayo. Impilo yabantu abadala isusa ukuzidla kithina: lapho sinemithwalo yemfanelo yomphakathi neyomndeni njengabantu abashadile, kulapho sizojwayela ukubona lezo zindima. Ngakho-ke kufanele silwe nalokhu ngokuvuma kithina ukuthi ubudlelwane besikhathi eside abuzenzekeli. Ngemuva kwalokho, singasebenzisa lelo qiniso ukuzakhela isu elizongenisa imizimba nezinhliziyo zethu ebulilini nasempilweni esondelene nayo.
Ingabe usuku olunqunu lusebenza kanjani empeleni, emhlabeni wangempela? Kulula: usetha isikhathi, isonto ngalinye, lapho wazi khona ukuthi ngeke uphazanyiswe. NgoLwesine ebusuku ngehora lesithupha, ngoMgqibelo ekuseni ngehora lesishiyagalombili, ngeSonto ntambama ngehora lesine. Uma izingane zakho zihlala zinamaphathi okuzalwa noma imicimbi yezemidlalo ngoMgqibelo ekuseni, leso akusona isikhathi sakho. Uma une-dinner yomndeni njalo ngenyanga ngamaSonto ngehora lesihlanu, leso akusona isikhathi sakho. Ufuna ukwazi ukuhlonipha isikhathi esilinganisiwe masonto onke.
Khombisa uthando
Kanjani? Ngoba uma sikhombisa uthando, njalo ngesonto, siqhuma izingqinamba ezimayelana nokuthi uzakwethu uyasifuna noma cha — sesivele sakhiwe sinqunu. Lapho sibonakala isonto ngalinye, umlingani wethu uqala ukuphumula nathi, futhi sobabili siqala ukukhululeka mayelana nini zocansi. Siyazi noma ngabe yini enye eyehla ngesonto, sizofika esikhathini sethu esigcwele uthando, futhi lokho kuvame ukusenza sizizwe sisondelene futhi sithembane kakhulu.
Kuyakha futhi ubuqhawe. Sisho ukuthini ngokuqina? Ukuba nesikhathi esijwayelekile-empilweni yethu yezocansi kusho ukuthi sithuthuka kuso. Sikhululeka ngokwengeziwe. Sinesiteji sokuhlola nokuthola.
Hlola okuningi
Engikuthole emshadweni wami yilokhu: ekuqaleni, umyeni wami wayengidonsela ngaphandle ejoyintini le-burger, bese ethi “usegcwele kakhulu” ngesikhathi sifika ekhaya. Cishe ngemuva kwezinyanga ezimbili saqala ukukuthola (ukwehluleka kuyingxenye yenqubo yokufunda), bese engema ngami ngo-5: 45 ntambama ngosuku lwethu — isikhathi sethu kwakungu-6: 00 - bese ethi, “ Hon, cishe sekuyisithupha. Isikhathi! ” bese ngihleka ngihambe ngiyolungisa. Kuthathe lezo zinyanga ezimbili ukucindezela ukumelana kwethu nokwenza into iqhubeke.
Ekuqaleni, sasisebenzisa zonke izinto esasizazi ukujabulisa omunye nomunye embhedeni-ngamanye amagama, sathola isisekelo sokwakha ubumnandi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, saqala ukuhlola okuningi. Usuku olubekiwe lwalusho ukuthi sazi ukuthi ngamunye wethu uzovela komunye nomunye, futhi akudingeki siqagele uma sifuna omunye nomunye. Noma ngabe bekuyiviki elinzima, besingawela ezingalweni zomunye nomunye futhi sazi ukuthi ukuzibophezela kwethu ekuboniseni inkanuko yobulili kungasithwala ngaphezu kokuwa.
Ngemuva kwalokho, imilingo yangempela yaqala. Saqala ukudlala. Sakhululeka komunye nomunye. Besithembana kakhulu othandweni lomunye nomunye. Saqala ukuzizwa sinomdlandla komunye nomunye ngoba yilokho ebesikuzwa. Ukwenza kwethu ukusondelana kwasenza sakhululeka futhi sibe nobudisi kwesinye isikhathi.
Ngabe zikhona izinsuku lapho singekho esimeni sako? Impela. Kepha lokho ubuhle bokuba nomlingani onamandla emizimbeni yethu. Yena noma angakwazi — lapho sizimisele ukuvele nje — asithwale lapho sidinga ukuthwalwa; futhi singenza okufanayo nakuye.
Ukwakha isisekelo esiqinile sothando ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
Lapho sesinomthetho we Uze isihloko - siveza, ngezikhathi ezimfushane nezimnandi zokusondelana kwethu - singasebenzisa le timu kwezinye izingxenye zobudlelwano bethu ezisekela ukusondelana kwethu: uthando, ubumnandi, ukungena komunye nomunye, ukudala isivumelwano ngempilo yethu ngakho indlela ekamelweni lethu kuhlala kucacile futhi kungavinjelwe.
Lezi yimigomo esinikeza isisekelo esiqinile sedwala lokuthanda ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Yimishayo esingakha phezu kwayo ifayili le- thanda kuze kube phakade. Futhi lokho-kithina sonke esihlanganyele-kufanele isisindo sayo ngegolide.