-Delile
- 1. Thanda isitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali
- 2. Thembela isitayela sobuzali bomzali wakho
- 3. Thembela ekutheni ingane yakho izokwazi ukuyisingatha
- 4. Ningadicilelwani phansi — sebenzanani!
Ukubambisana njengomzali kungenye yezinselelo ezinkulu abazali ababhekana nazo ... futhi kungenye yezihloko ezivame kakhulu amakhasimende ami angibuza ngazo. Akunandaba ukuthi isimo sobudlelwano phakathi kwabazali, noma ngabe sishadile, sehlukanisile, sindawonye, noma sihlukene, lezi zinselele ziyavela ngokwemvelo. Nakhu ukuthi kungani: noma nini lapho abantu ababili beqala ukuzijabulisa ndawonye, imibono kanye nezindinganiso zabo ezihlukile zizodlala indima ekutheni ngamunye ufinyelela kanjani ezimweni, futhi ekugcineni yiziphi izinqumo abazenzayo. Ukuba ngumzali kuhlukile kunanoma iyiphi enye i-adventure, kepha, ngoba umsebenzi ozibekele ukuwuqedela ukukhulisa umuntu, futhi kunengcindezi enkulu yokuphumelela. Akumangazi-ke ukuthi izinqumo zokuba ngumzali, ke, zinesisindo esikhulu futhi zingadala ukungezwani phakathi kwabazali.
Yize lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi ejwayelekile, lokho akusho ukuthi kulula! Kepha mhlawumbe kunendlela yokunciphisa okunye ukucindezeleka futhi uthuthukise "ubudlelwane bakho bokusebenza" nomunye umzali wengane yakho ...
Esinye sezizathu ezinkulu sokuthi ukubambisana ngokubambisana kungaba nzima umqondo wokuthi abazali badinga ukuba ekhasini elilodwa. Le yinganekwane yokuba ngumzali engakusebenzeli wena noma umlingani wakho wokuba ngumzali. Ukuze ukuhambisana kwabazali kwenzeke, bobabili abazali kufanele babambe futhi basebenzise imingcele, amanani, namasu afanayo. Ngenxa yemibono yabo eyingqayizivele, noma kunjalo, akunakwenzeka ukuthi abazali ababili empeleni babelane ngombono ofanayo kuzo zonke lezi zindawo. Esikhundleni sokuphoqelelana komunye nomzali ngokungagunyaziwe, kungani ungakhuthazana omunye nomunye ukuba athande amandla akho okuba ngumzali ahlukile, okwenza ubambiswano lwakho luqine ukwedlula noma ngubani ongakwazi ukuzimela? Nakhu ukuthi:
1. Thanda isitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali
Ukuze uthande isitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali, kufanele uqale wazi ukuthi siyini isitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali, esidinga ukwakha ulwazi lokuthi uzibheka kanjani futhi ubhekana kanjani nezinselelo zokuba ngumzali. Ngabe uhleleke ngokwengeziwe, noma uguquguquka kalula? Ngabe uyakwazisa ukusekelwa kokondla, noma ujwayele ukuqina? Thola ukuthi iziphi izindawo zokukhulisa izingane ezizizwa zingenamsebenzi futhi zilula kuwe, nokuthi yiziphi ezizizwa zishubile futhi ziyinselelo enkulu.
Ukunquma amanani akho kuyindawo emangalisayo yokuqala. Uma ungumzali oyazisa ngempela imfundo, ngokunokwenzeka uzobe uchitha isikhathi esiningi uzama ukufundisa ingane yakho ukuthi nayo iyazise imfundo, futhi uyisekele ezinseleleni zemfundo. Ngokufanayo, uma ubheka ububele nokuxhumana kwabantu, lezi yizifundo ongazifaka ezikhathini zokuba ngumzali. Ukunquma izindinganiso zakho eziphezulu kungaletha ukucaca ezindaweni zobuzali lapho uhlangana khona, nezindawo zobuzali lapho ungafuna ukwenza ushintsho oluthile ukuze ube ngumzali ngokufanele. Lapho wazi ukuthi uzama ukufundisani nokuthi kungani, ukuba ngumzali endaweni yokuzethemba nokuhlangana kuba lula kakhulu.
Ngisho nomzali ohlonishwa kakhulu, noma kunjalo, uzoba nezindawo zobuthakathaka. Kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuzizwa sengathi kunezindawo lapho ungeyena umuntu ongcono kakhulu kulo msebenzi. Ngiyacela, zihawukele uma lokhu kuvela. Kuyinto evamile njengoba ingakhululekile. Izingane zenzelwe ukukhuliswa emphakathini. Isisho esidala sokuthi kuthatha isigodi sibhekisa ngqo kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho. Lezi zindawo "zobuthakathaka" zingaba ngamathuba amangalisayo okufundisa ingane yakho izifundo ezimbili ezijulile: ukuthi ungazithanda kanjani zonke izici zakho — ngisho nalezo ozibona zinamaphutha, nokuthi ungalufuna kanjani usizo nokusekela lapho uludinga. Yilapho ukuzethemba kungekuphela wena kuphela, kepha futhi nomzali wakho, kuba isipiliyoni seqembu elinika amandla.
2. Thembela isitayela sobuzali bomzali wakho
Ukucaca mayelana nezinzuzo zesitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali kungenzeka ukuthi uhambe ngokushesha kuzokusiza futhi ubone izinzuzo zesitayela sokuba ngumzali seqabane lakho, futhi. Uma usufuna amandla, ubuchopho bakho buzokwazi ukuwabona ngokukhululeka okukhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungahle futhi kucace lapho inselelo yomzali wakho osebenza naye iphonselwa inselelo khona.Ngikumema ukuthi nibe nengxoxo evulekile yokuthi amakhono nobuzali benu bobabili bobabili bancoma kanjani omunye nomunye, kanye nezindawo lapho ngamunye wenu ezizwa elahlekile noma engasekelwa. Uma isimo sakho sokuba umzali kungesona lapho ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nangokuthembeka kuzwakala khona, ungesabi. Uma uzimisele ukuzethemba wena kanye nomunye umzali, kuzonciphisa ukungezwani kulo lonke uhlelo.
Udaba oluvame kakhulu ukungiletha ezingxoxweni zokukhulisa izingane ukuthi umzali ngamunye "uhluke kakhulu," noma "akatholi." Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuyiqonda kulesi simo (futhi imvamisa enzima kakhulu) ukuthi lokhu kwehluka kuyimpahla enkulu. Ukubukwa komhlaba okuhlukile, amanani, nezindlela kusiza ukulinganisa abantu ababili abanethonya ohlelweni lomndeni. Futhi kuletha amathuba amaningi ezinganeni ezithonywayo. Nasi isibonelo: emndenini owodwa kunomzali oyedwa onobuchule obukhulu futhi onendlela yokucabanga eguquguqukayo, nomzali oyedwa okwazisa ukwakheka nokwejwayelekile. Ngenkathi bengaphikisana ngokuthi isikhathi somsebenzi wesikole sibukeka kanjani, okungenzeka ukuthi abakuboni ukuthi banethonya kanjani komunye nomunye futhi bakha imvelo yasekhaya ngokulinganisela kokuqamba nokwakheka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane zabo zifunda izindlela ezimbili ezihluke kakhulu zokubhekana nezimo ezimpilweni zabo.
Kunoma yiziphi izimo ezahlukahlukene, ngaphandle kobuhlobo bakho nomzali wakho, ukuyeka ukulawula kungenye yezinselelo ezinkulu kakhulu. Ukungabi “ekhasini elilodwa” nomzali wakho kusho ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukulawula zonke izimo zokuba ngumzali. Ikakhulu ezimweni zesehlukaniso noma umzali onengxabano enkulu, ukuyeka ukulawula kungazizwa kungenakwenzeka. Njengomzali, ufuna ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi ingane yakho ithola ukunakekelwa okuhle kakhulu, okusho ukuthi le nqubo ingethusa kakhulu. Zibuze le mibuzo elandelayo, bese iba ngumhlahlandlela wokuthembela kumlingani wakho wokuba ngumzali: Ngabe umzali wami osebenza naye ufuna okungcono kakhulu kwengane yethu? Ngabe umzali wami osebenza naye uzizwa futhi uyakholelwa yini ukuthi amasu abo obuzali ayazuzisa? Ingabe umzali wami wobambisene naye ngendlela ephephile enganeni yethu? Uma ungaphendula ngoyebo kule mibuzo, yini ekubambezela ekuthembeni kwakho?
3. Thembela ekutheni ingane yakho izokwazi ukuyisingatha
“Kodwa lokhu ngeke yini kudidise ingane yami?” Lutho neze! Okuwukuphela kokuvumelana okudingwa ingane yakho ukungaguquguquki kwalowo muntu. Ukudideka kuzovela uma ungaqinile esitayeleni sakho sokuba ngumzali, ngakho-ke uhlanganyela ekubhekaneni nabazali ngokungaguquguquki. Ingozi yokuphenya nje ukuthi ingane yakho ngeke yazi ukuthi yini engayilindela ngokwemingcele, imikhawulo, noma imiphumela, umphumela wayo okuzoba ukukhathazeka nokulindela.
Ingane yakho inekhono lokufunda nokuphendula izitayela ezimbili zokuba ngumzali. Uma nobabili nomlingani wakho ongumzali niqinile endleleni yenu yokuba ngumzali, ingane yakho izokwazi ukuthi umzali # 1 uphendula ngendlela ethile, futhi umzali # 2 uphendula ngenye indlela. Akukho ukulindela noma ukukhathazeka lapho. Futhi, uthola inzuzo eyengeziwe yokufundisa ingane yakho ngokuhlangenwe nakho ukuthi kungaba nezindlela ezimbili ezihlukile zokubhekana nanoma iyiphi inselelo enikeziwe.
Awulindelanga ukuthi uthisha wengane yakho “alandele imithetho yakho” phakathi nesikhathi sesikole, ngakho-ke kungani ulindele ukuthi umzali wakho naye enze kanjalo? Ukwehluka kwesipiliyoni, hhayi ukuvumelana, yikhona okuzokhulisa ukukhula kwengane yakho, ilukuluku, nobuciko.
4. Ningadicilelwani phansi — sebenzanani!
Inselelo enkulu kule modeli yokuba ngumzali yile: ingane yakho, nakanjani, izozama ukulawula isimo ngokuzimatanisa nanoma imuphi umzali ababona ukuthi uzobazala kahle ngomzuzwana othile. Ikhambi lalobu buthi obuthile ukuxhumana. Uma isinqumo sesivele senziwe ngumzali oyedwa, kubalulekile ukuthi omunye umzali asihloniphe futhi asisekele leso sinqumo. Noma iziphi izinqumo ezenziwe noma imiphumela enikeziwe kumele ihlale isebenza lapho omunye umzali "esemsebenzini". Lokhu kusho ukuthi bobabili abazali badinga ukusheshisa ekutheni yiziphi izinqumo ezithathiwe ngenkathi bengekho, ukuze bakwazi ukwenza ngokufanele.
Ukuzimisela ukucela ukwesekwa ngelinye ikhono elibalulekile ekukhuliseni ngokubambisana. Uma uphelelwe amandla, uvuselelwe, noma ngokuvamile ulwa nenselelo yokuba ngumzali, ukuba nomzali osebenza naye “akuthathe” kuyindlela enhle yokuzinakekela futhi ukhombise umlingani wakho ongumzali ukuthi uyamethemba futhi uyamhlonipha. Uma kunendawo ethile yokuba ngumzali ezizwa ingakhululekile noma ingajwayelekile, zizwe ukhululekile ukubuza umzali osebenza naye ukuthi bazoyisingatha kanjani bese bezama indlela yabo. Umzali wakho bobabili uyimpahla nomthombo wolwazi. Babodwa umuntu owazi ingane yakho, nezinselelo ezithile zokukhulisa ingane yakho, njengoba nawe wenza.
Ekugcineni, izingcezu ezibaluleke kakhulu zokubambisana njengomzali ukwethembana, inhlonipho kanye nokuxhumana. Lena akuyona imisebenzi emincane; kungaba nzima ukuzijwayeza nganoma yisiphi isibalo sezizathu. Uma wena noma umzali osebenza naye nibhekene nobunzima kunoma iyiphi yalezi zindawo, sicela ukhumbule ukuthi ukufuna ukwesekwa njengomzali noma ukwelulekwa ngawodwana / imibhangqwana akusho ukuthi wehlulekile — kumane nje kungukuziqonda nokuzinakekela. Ukuba ngumzali kungenye yemisebenzi enzima kakhulu emhlabeni, futhi kulungile ukuba nezinsuku ezimbi. Ukuze ube ngumzali ongcono kakhulu, kwesinye isikhathi udinga ukwesekwa okungeziwe.