-Delile
- 1. Hambani niyolala ndawonye njalo kusihlwa
- 2. Buyelani ekwenzeni izinto ndawonye
- 3. Ncoma umyeni wakho
- 4. Ungabi namahloni ezingxoxweni ezinzima
Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana nomyeni wakho? Ngaphambi kokuba uqhubeke nayo, buyela emuva ucabange ukuthi kusho ukuthini “ukusondelana” emshadweni wakho? Umcabango wokuqala ongafika engqondweni "ucansi", akunjalo? Futhi leyo impela indlela ebalulekile yokusondelana futhi enikeza ukujula okukhulu nobumnandi ebudlelwaneni bakho bomshado. Kepha asiqhubeke kancane ngomqondo wokusondelana, sihlole ifomu lesibili: ukusondelana ngokomzwelo.
Cishe usunemali enkulu yalokhu emshadweni wakho — umuzwa wokwethembana, wothando, wokuphepha nokusondelana okhulayo lapho abantu ababili beboshelwe umshado. Kepha njengoba nje ungasebenza ukukhulisa ukusondelana kwakho ngokobulili nenjabulo eza nalokho, ungasebenza futhi ukukhulisa izinga lakho lokusondelana ngokomzwelo nomyeni wakho. Futhi into enhle ngalokhu? Akuwona “umsebenzi” ngempela, kepha uzokhokha ngezinzuzo ezinkulu ezinikeza ukujula okukhulu namandla ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ake sibheke izindlela ezine ongakha ngazo ukusondelana nomyeni wakho.
1. Hambani niyolala ndawonye njalo kusihlwa
Nobabili ninempilo ematasa, futhi kusihlwa kwenu kuyaphithizela njengezinsuku enizichithe nisehhovisi. Ukuthola isidlo sakusihlwa etafuleni, ukusiza izingane ngomsebenzi wasekhaya, ukugeza kwazo kanye nemikhuba yazo yokulala kungakushiya unesifiso sokuvele uphume phambi kwe-pc yakho noma ithelevishini uma zonke lezo zibopho ezingezona ezomshado sezenziwe. Ngokuya ngokwengeziwe, uzithola usithi “goodnight” kumyeni wakho njengoba eya embhedeni, bese ubuyela ekufundeni kwakho ku-intanethi noma ubuke uchungechunge lwakho, ukujoyina umyeni wakho kuphela lapho amehlo akho engasakwazi ukugxila esikrinini. Lokhu akusizi ekwakheni ukusondelana nomyeni wakho.
Zama ukulala ngasikhathi sinye nomyeni wakho. Zinikele ekwenzeni lokhu inyanga eyodwa bese ubona ukuthi yini eqhakaza ebudlelwaneni bakho. Akudingeki ukuba ulale naye ngenhloso yokuya ocansini (noma ngabe lokho kwenzeka, konke kungcono!) Kepha ukuze nithintane kuphela ekugcineni kusihlwa. Umlingo omningi ungenzeka uma uzinikela esikhathini sokulala esivamile: ukuxhumana kwakho kuzogeleza njengoba nobabili niphumula ningena emiqamelweni, injabulo yenu izokwanda njengoba nithola leso sikhumba sixhumane nesikhumba, futhi nizivulela ubulili obuningi ngoba nobabili nobabili lapho, ukwethula nokungenela. Ngeke ukuthole lokhu uma omunye wenu elele embhedeni kusihlwa kanti omunye ehleli esihlalweni sakhe ebamba i-imeyili noma ephenya ngokudla kwabo kwe-Facebook.
2. Buyelani ekwenzeni izinto ndawonye
Uyakhumbula ngenkathi nisathandana futhi nihlela kusihlwa nangezimpelasonto ukuze nibe nomfana wakho? Ngenkathi nithandana, nifuna imisebenzi ezonivumela ukuthi nichithe isikhathi nomunye: nihamba izintaba, nidanse, nivivinye umzimba, nifunde isigaba sokupheka. Ngemuva kwalokho umshado wenzeka, futhi ngenxa yokuthi manje beningaphansi kophahla olufanayo, bekungasabonakali kubalulekile njengokuhlela imisebenzi enikelwe nsuku zonke noma ngeviki enizoyenza nobabili.
Ukuze wakhe ukusondelana nomyeni wakho, buyelani kulowo mcabango "wokuqomisana" bese uzibandakanya entweni eningayenza nobabili ndawonye kungaba nsuku zonke noma ngezimpelasonto. Zivolontiye ube yilowo mbhangqwana ohlela iphathi yaminyaka yonke ye-block block. Nikeza ithuba lokuba ngabaphathi bomzali emdansweni wezingane zakho wesikole.
Izinsuku zansuku zonke zingahlangana njalo kusihlwa ejimini ukuzilolonga ndawonye, noma ukubhukuda ndawonye. Imibono yesikhathi ndawonye samasonto onke ingafaka ukubhaliswa ekilasini lokudansa laseSalsa, noma ekilasini lolimi lwangaphandle, noma ekilasini lekhekhe laseFrance. Bhekani izinga lenu lokusondelana likhula njengoba nobabili nifunda ikhono elisha futhi nikhuluma ngalokho enikufezayo ndawonye.
3. Ncoma umyeni wakho
Sivame ukukhohlwa ukukhombisa ukubonga koshade naye lapho sesihlangene iminyaka. Imisebenzi ayenza endlini, noma ukuthi unikela kanjani ekukhuliseni izingane. Lezi zenzo ziba yinto eyejwayelekile bese sikhohlwa ukumazi. Kwenze umkhuba ukuncoma umyeni wakho okungenani kanye ngosuku. Ngokwenza lokhu, ngeke nje azizwe evunyelwe futhi egcwala injabulo nokuziqhenya, kepha uzobe uzikhumbuza ukuthi yini indoda enhle eshade naye. Futhi lokho kuzokhuphula izinga lokusondelana kwakho njengoba uhlehla futhi uthi "Yebo, le ndoda iyisiqingatha sami esingcono ngempela!"
4. Ungabi namahloni ezingxoxweni ezinzima
Kubukeka kungaphikisi ukucabanga ukuthi ukuba nengxoxo enzima nomyeni wakho kungeza emizweni yakho yokusondelana naye, kepha kuyiqiniso. Ukungabhekani nento ethile, ukuyigcina ifakwa ngaphakathi kuwe, kuzokwakha kuphela intukuthelo — futhi ukucasuka kuphambene nokusondelana.
Ngakho-ke zivuleleni ukukhuluma ngezinto ezinzima — noma ngabe kumayelana nomndeni, ubulili, izidingo ezingokomzwelo — noma ngabe kuyini, thola isikhathi esihle sokuhlala phansi uqale ingxoxo. Uzobona ukuthi njengoba nidlula ezintweni ezinzima, nobabili nizizwa nisondelene ngoba nizenze sengozini futhi nivulelane imizwa ebi yomunye nomunye.
Uthando isenzo sesenzo
Ukusondelana emshadweni wethu akususelwa eholidini elithile elihle esilithathayo noma ebukhazikhazini, ebusuku obubizayo esinabo. Ukusondelana kwakhelwe phezu kwezinqumo esizenzayo usuku ngalunye. Ngakho-ke zama ezinye zalezi zeluleko bese ubona ukuthi ungadala hlobo luni lokusondelana nomyeni wakho.