UKira Asatryan ungumqeqeshi wobudlelwano oqinisekisiwe nombhali we Yeka Ukuba Nesizungu: Izinyathelo Ezintathu Ezilula Zokuthuthukisa Ubungane Obusondelene Nobudlelwano obujulile. Ukhuluma nathi kuMarriage.com ngencwadi yakhe, ubheka ukusondelana bese enza izeluleko ezithile zokuthi ungahlala kanjani ujabule.
I-Marriage.com: Sitshele kancane ngawe nangencwadi yakho Yeka Ukuba Nesizungu: Izinyathelo ezintathu ezilula zokwakha ubungane obuseduze
UKira Asatryan: Ngingumqeqeshi wezobudlelwano oqinisekisiwe osebenza ikakhulu nabashadikazi. Inhloso yami lapho ngibhala Yeka Ukuba Nesizungu bekungukuphendula nje eminye yemibuzo ebilokhu ingikhathaza empilweni yami yezenhlalo. Okungukuthi, ngangihlale ngizibuza: Kungani obunye ubudlelwano bami bezizwa busondelene kakhulu kunabanye? Kungani ngihambe kude nokuxhumana okuthile ngizizwa nginesizungu, futhi abanye bezizwa Okuningi unesizungu?
Njengoba ngithole ngocwaningo oluningi nangokuzibonakalisa, impendulo yaba ukuthi obunye ubudlelwano bami babunokuningi ukusondelana kuzo - futhi lesi sithako esibalulekile senza ubudlelwano bube mnandi. "Ukusondela," njengoba ngikuchaza, kungukuhlangenwe nakho kokuzwa kuyaqondakala (ngesenzo "sokwazi") futhi kuvezwe (ngesenzo "sokukhathalela").
Umshado.com: Uyini umbono wakho ngesizungu emshadweni? Yini okufanele yenziwe imibhangqwana ukunqoba le nkinga?
UKira Asatryan: Lapho umlingani enesizungu emshadweni, kungenxa yokushoda kokusondelana. Kusho ukuthi abantu bobabili emshadweni abaqondi kahle (abaqondi 'izindinganiso, izidingo, amaphupho, ukwesaba, njll) komunye nomunye noma ababonisi ukukhathalela okwanele (njengoba kufakazelwa ngu: intshisekelo ngomunye umuntu, ukuzibandakanya naye, ukutshala imali enhlalakahleni yakhe, nokukhombisa uthando nokwesekwa). Isinyathelo sokuqala, engingakusho, ukunqoba isizungu emshadweni ukuthola ukuthi ukuntuleka kokusondelana kuxhomeke kakhulu ohlangothini “lokwazi” noma “okunakekelayo”.
I-Marriage.com: Yisiphi iseluleko ongasinika abantu ukwakha ukuxhumana okugculisayo nokujulile kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo yabo?
UKira Asatryan: Isinyathelo sokuqala sokwakha ukuxhumana okwanelisayo nokujulile kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo yomuntu ukuthola ukuthi ubani empilweni yakho ongaba "umlingani osondelene" omuhle. Imvamisa lo ngumlingani womuntu, kepha futhi kungaba yilungu lomndeni, umngani, noma omunye angakha ubudlelwano obuseduze obuningi. “Umlingani osondelene” omuhle kungaba ngumuntu obonakala enesifiso sokusondela kuwe futhi, okwazi ukwabelana ngolwazi lomuntu siqu ngaye, akwazi ukulalela nokugcina imininingwane ngawe, futhi akwazi kahle imizwa yokunikeza nokuthola ukunakekelwa .
I-Marriage.com: Yini okufanele yenziwe uma omunye efuna ukuhlakulela ukusondelana kodwa omunye ahoxe? Umuntu ubhekana kanjani nobuhlungu nokuhlukumezeka?
UKira Asatryan: Lo ngumbuzo omuhle!
Lapho uqala ukuzwa ukuthi othile usuka kuwe, ngokwemvelo uvame ukuzizwa udidekile futhi uzibuze ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela. Into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukungena kumodi yokwethuka. Kungasenza sibe sibi isimo ngezizathu eziningi. Okokuqala, kungakudala ukuthi uziphathe ngendlela ebonakala ingenangqondo futhi kukubeka ethubeni lokuthi wenze okubi ebudlelwaneni kunokuhle. Okwesibili, ngokuziphatha ngendlela owenza ngayo, umlingani wakho uthola ithuba lokuchitha izinkathazo zakho futhi akubize ngokuthi '' çrazy ''. Gxila kokungokoqobo futhi uqonde ukuchaze kanjani abakwenzile.
Nikeza lowo muntu isikhathi esithile futhi uzilungiselele ukulungiswa kwazo. Ekugcineni, uma beqhubeka nokukugwema, kungenzeka ukuthi ubuhlobo bufike ekugcineni. Ngalesi sikhathi esibuhlungu, thola induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi ubusiphethe kahle isimo okungenani.
I-Marriage.com: Yisiphi leso seluleko esisodwa ongasinika wonke umuntu ukuthi ahlale ejabule?
UKira Asatryan: Uma ulwa nesizungu noma uzizwa uphansi ngenxa yokuntuleka kobudlelwano obufezayo empilweni yakho, into yokuqala engingayiphakamisa ukuthi uyeke ukuzibeka icala. Kunezizathu eziningi zemvelo zokuthi kungani ubudlelwano bunzima kulezi zinsuku kunangaphambili .) kuzokugcina kuphela endaweni engajabulisi. Esikhundleni salokho, kholwa ukuthi ungumuntu oyigugu ofanelwe uthando nokusondelana, nokuthi isizungu siyinkinga ngaphandle kwe- wena ongaqedwa ngokuphelele. Yeka Ukuba Nesizungu sizokukhombisa ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu.