-Delile
- 1. Nobabili ningabantu abazinzile
- 2. Wena nomlingani wakho niyahambisana ezingeni eliyisisekelo
- 3. Anivumelani ngendlela enempilo
- 4. Nobabili nibeke phambili omunye komunye
- 5. Nizwakalisa ukubonga komunye nomunye ngezindlela ezincane usuku ngalunye
- 6. Uzibophezele ngokujulile ebudlelwaneni
- 7. Kunesisekelo sokwethembana phakathi kwenu
- 8. Niyanemukelana ngokuphelele
- 9. Nihlanganyela ekukhuleni komunye nomunye ngokomoya
Ubudlelwano obunempilo ubuhlobo obuzinzile. Sonke siyazi imibhangqwana elwa njengamakati nezinja ngolunye usuku, kuphela ukuthi ibe nentshisekelo njengabasanda kushada ngolandelayo. Basengozini yesehlukaniso noma baziqhayisa ngothando lwabo oluvuselelwe kubo bonke abazolalela.
Leyo mibhangqwana ayinabo ubuhlobo obuzinzile; ukubambisana kwabo akuvamile ukuthi kube isikhathi eside, noma, uma kunjalo, kugcwele idrama, izinyembezi nokungajabuli. Akekho othokozela ukuba ebudlelwaneni be-bipolar. Kungakwenza uzizwe ukhathazekile, wesabe futhi ungaphephile. Sonke sinelungelo lokujabulela ubudlelwano obushelelayo, obunothando futhi obusenza sizizwe siphephile. "Ukuzinza" akusho ukuthi "kuyisicefe". "Ukuzinza" kuyenelisa, kunika impilo impilo futhi kuyisisekelo sobudlelwano obuqinile nothando.
Nawa amathiphu awusizo awu-9 wokukusiza wakhe ubudlelwano obuzinzile:
1. Nobabili ningabantu abazinzile
Ukuze bakhe ubudlelwano obuzinzile, bobabili abalingani kudingeka bazinze ngokwabo. Lokhu kusho ukuthi basebenze ngenkuthalo ukuze babe ngabantu abadala abazisebenzelayo. Bafundile futhi bahlanganisa izifundo ezibalulekile zempilo. Uma banezinkinga ezingaxazululiwe, basebenze kuzona ngokwelashwa noma ngomeluleki othembekile. Bakhe izimpilo ezigculisayo nezicebisayo. Lapho abantu abazinzile behlangana ndawonye, ubudlelwano obulandelayo bulinganiselwa ngokwemvelo.
2. Wena nomlingani wakho niyahambisana ezingeni eliyisisekelo
Ukwakha noma ukugcina ubuhlobo obuzinzile kudinga ukuthi bobabili abalingani babelane ngamanani ayisisekelo afanayo.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi bayavumelana ngamaphuzu athile abalulekile, njengokuthi babheka kanjani imali, ezombusazwe, ezomndeni, ezemfundo, ukwethembeka, ezocansi nobuningi bazo, ukukhetha indlela yokuphila njengokudla okunempilo, ukuzivocavoca umzimba nokubhema.
Imibhangqwana engaboni ngasolinye kulawa maphuzu ingazithola inokubambana ebudlelwaneni bayo, idale ukungazinzi. Isibonelo, unomuzwa wokuthi ukuphatha umzimba wakho ngendlela enempilo kubalulekile. Uzivocavoca njalo, hlala kude nokudla okulungisiwe, futhi awubhemi. Uma unomlingani wakho ohlala usuku lonke ebhema osikilidi futhi edla amaswidi, lokhu ngeke kukhuthaze umuzwa wokuqina ebudlelwaneni bakho. Izindlela zakho zokuphila eziyisisekelo ziyaphikisana. Ukugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzile kungaba nzima kuleli cala.
3. Anivumelani ngendlela enempilo
Imibhangqwana enobuhlobo obuzinzile ixhumana ngomusa nangenhlonipho.
Lapho belwa, bayakugwema ukugxekana noma ukuveza amaphutha adlule. Banamathela endabeni futhi balalele uhlangothi lomunye lwezinto. Bayavumelana ukuthi baziveze ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka.
Basebenza kanzima ukuqonda ukuthi omunye ubona kanjani umthombo wokungezwani. Izithandani ebudlelwaneni obungazinzile zizama ukukhombisana ukuthi kungani zilungile kanti enye ingalungile. Bavala umlingani wabo noma bazivale, ngakho-ke ingxoxo ayisi ngasekusombululeni. Abahloniphani, basebenzisa amagama anjengokuthi “thula!” noma “Awukwazi ukwenza lutho kahle!” Izingxabano zabo zizungeza imibuthano, futhi ziphela kuphela ngoba umuntu oyedwa uyakhathala ngakho konke ukuhayiza nokumemeza.
4. Nobabili nibeke phambili omunye komunye
Njengoba uqhubeka nosuku lwakho, imicabango yakho iphendukela kumlingani wakho. Uma unesinqumo esikhulu okumele usithathe, ubonisana nomlingani wakho. Ufuna umbono womlingani wakho kumaphrojekthi akho nasezinhlelweni zakho. Injabulo nenhlalakahle kazakwenu iyinto eyodwa oyikhathalelayo.
5. Nizwakalisa ukubonga komunye nomunye ngezindlela ezincane usuku ngalunye
Ukugcina ubudlelwano bakho bunempilo futhi buzinzile, uthola izindlela zokukhumbuza umlingani wakho ukuthi ubathanda kangakanani nokuthi ubonga kangakanani ukuthi basempilweni yakho. Kusukela ekuphekeni inkomishi yakhe yokuqala yekhofi ekuseni, kuya ekubambeni intamo okumnandi ngaphambi kokuba ayolala ebusuku, ukhombisa ukubonga kwakho ngokuthintana ngokomzimba, ukukhuluma ngomlomo nangokubhala, nangegama lothando elithambile nelingalindelekile.
6. Uzibophezele ngokujulile ebudlelwaneni
Nobabili nivumelane ngaphambi komshado ukuthi isehlukaniso asisoze saba inketho. Lolu lwazi lubolekisa ukuzinza ebudlelwaneni bakho, likuvumela ukuthi ubhekane nezikhathi zobunzima wazi ukuthi ngisho nangezikhathi zezimagqabhagqabha ezinzima, nizohlala nithembana njalo.
7. Kunesisekelo sokwethembana phakathi kwenu
Ubudlelwano obuzinzile buhlala phezu kwesisekelo sokwethembana. Wena nomlingani wakho nithembeka futhi niyiqiniso ngomunye nomunye. Asikho isikhwele phakathi kwenu. Ningavuleleka, nibe sengozini futhi nibe neqiniso komunye nomunye. Noma yikuphi ukwesaba noma imizwa oyabelana nomlingani wakho, uyazi ukuthi uyohlala ekuthanda futhi ekunakekela.
8. Niyanemukelana ngokuphelele
Imibhangqwana ebudlelwaneni obuzinzile yamukelana ngobunjalo bayo, manje, namuhla. Abathandanga ikhono lomunye, bathandana nomunye njengoba babenjalo. Noma ngabe yiziphi izinguquko ezenzekayo ebudlelwaneni — izinguquko zomzimba, ukugula, izinselelo zempilo, nobabili niyamukela futhi anizami ukushintshana nibe nguzakwenu “enifisa sengathi beninaye.”
9. Nihlanganyela ekukhuleni komunye nomunye ngokomoya
Nobabili nifuna ukuqhubeka nokukhula nokukhula njengabantu. Nitshale imali enhlalakahleni yomunye nomunye yengqondo. Nabelana ngokwenu ngezifundo zempilo enizifundayo njengoba niqhubekela phambili, futhi nibabaza lapho umlingani wakho ehlangabezana nezinselele azibekela yena. Nobabili niyabona ukuthi isipho sempilo nothando siyigugu, futhi lokhu nikubeka phambili engqondweni yenu ukuze ningazithathi kalula.