-Delile
- 1. Ungazibandakanyi ebudlelwaneni babo
- 2. Ungazibandakanyi ekukhuliseni kwabo
- 3. Cela ukusiza
- 4. Ungabafakeli ingcindezi
U-Adam no-Eva bamele umbhangqwana oshadile onobuhle, umbhangqwana ofanele, ojabule owabhekana nobunzima ndawonye futhi wahlala eshadile impilo yabo yonke ende. Yayiyini imfihlo yalokhu kufezwa? Akekho noyedwa owayenomamezala.
Amahlaya abasekhweni ayinsika enkulu kumasiko aseMelika, yize kungekho lucwaningo olukhombisa ukuthi izintandane zinemishado engcono abantu abanabazali abaphilayo. Eqinisweni, abasekhweni bangaba umthombo obalulekile wokusekela umshado, uma bedlala amakhadi abo kahle.
Nawa amathiphu ambalwa wokuthi ungasusa kanjani lokhu:
1. Ungazibandakanyi ebudlelwaneni babo
Lowo umthetho # 1, bantu. Umshado wezingane zakho yabo umshado, hhayi eyakho umshado. Awunalo ibhizinisi elibandakanyekayo ezindabeni zabo zomshado. Uma behlangabezana nezinkinga zobudlelwano, ukuhlinzeka uthando nokusekela ingane / umkhwenyana wakho kuyamangalisa; ukuzibandakanya ezingxabanweni akulona. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma ungacelwanga ukuthi ungenelele - kepha kuvame ukuthi kube yiqiniso uma ukwenzile kukhona acele ukulamula. Ukungena phakathi kwengxabano yomshado kungumsebenzi womeluleki, hhayi umzali.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso ngezizathu eziningana:
- Akunakwenzeka ukuthi ube nenhloso esimweni lapho ingane yakho ihlupheka khona.
- Kuba nzima kakhulu ukuphuma phakathi uma usungene.
- Noma usuphumile, imvamisa awuzwa ukuthi isinqumo besithini. Ngakho-ke uma umkhwenyana wakho eke waba yinsini, ungezwa ngalokho, kodwa awuzwa ukuthi waxolisa walungisa izinto ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lokho kukushiya umunyu kumyeni wendodakazi yakho, kuyilapho kungenzeka ukuthi usekukhohliwe isikhathi eside okwenzekile, ngaphandle kwalomthetho uma uzizwa ukuthi ingane yakho isengozini engokoqobo kumlingani wakhe. Esimweni esinjalo kuvunyelwe ukubandakanyeka, noma ungacelwanga.
2. Ungazibandakanyi ekukhuliseni kwabo
Kunzima kakhulu kubazali ukubuka izingane zabo zikhulisa izingane zazo ngezindlela ezingazamukeli noma ezingavumelani nazo. Futhi kulula kakhulu ukushelela ekunikezeni izeluleko, ekulungiseni, nasekugxekeni. Konke lokhu okufezayo kubeka ubunzima ebudlelwaneni bakho nezingane zakho ezindala. Uma izingane zakho zifuna izeluleko zakho, zizokucela kuwe. Uma bengakwenzi, cabanga ukuthi abayifuni. Futhi, ukuzwelana nezinkinga zabo (futhi wonke umuntu unezinkinga zomzali) kwamukelekile futhi kunenjongo. Leyo yindlela enhle yokusiza ingane yakho nomkhwenyana wakho ngengcindezi yokukhulisa izingane. Ukubatshela ukuthi benzani okungalungile akuyona. (Futhi, okuhlukile kulokhu uma wesaba ukuthi abazukulu bakho basengozini yangempela.)
3. Cela ukusiza
Lokhu kusho ukuthi unikeze ingane yakho nomkhwenyana wakho usizo ukuthi badinga. Ukuze uthole ukuthi yini lokho, babuze!
Uma bethola ubunzima bokuziphilisa, izipho zemali zingabongwa; kepha uma bemi kahle ngokwezezimali, lokho mhlawumbe akuyona into ezosiza kakhulu. Iningi labazali abanezingane ezincane, ukubanikeza isikhathi esithile ngokugcina izingane kungenzeka kudingeke kakhulu. Kepha umthetho wegolide uwukuthi: buza! Akukho okudumaza kakhulu kuzo zonke izinhlaka ezithintekayo njengokuzama kwakho ukuphusha “usizo” kuzo ngezindlela ezingadingeki futhi zingakhombisi ukubonga ngemizamo yakho.
4. Ungabafakeli ingcindezi
Cishe ingane yakho nomkhwenyana wakho banolunye uhlobo lwabasekhweni okufanele balunakekele - abazali bomlingani wengane yakho. Labo abasekhweni bafuna futhi ukuba nezingane nabazukulu babo ngamaholidi, bafuna nesikhathi nabazukulu, bagubha nosuku lomama nobaba, njalonjalo. Ukuze ube ngumkhwenyana omuhle, udinga ukukuqonda lokho futhi ubavumele bahlukanise isikhathi phakathi kwabo bobabili amasethi abazali babo, abangenacala. (Uma uzithola ubhikisha njengamanje ukuthi basebenzise isikhathi esiningi kakhulu ne- okunye isethi yabasekhweni, kungahle kube yisikhathi sokubheka ukuthi ngabe weqa noma yimaphi ama-no-no kuleli khasi noma wenza ngenye indlela kube kubi kubo ukuba seduze kwakho.) Uma unecala noma ubacindezela ukuthi basebenzise okuningi isikhathi nawe, kungenzeka ukuthi uzithole zisebenzisa imali encane.
Ubuciko bokuba ngumkhwenyana ngezindlela eziningi kumayelana nokucija amakhono akho we-laissez-faire. Njengoba kusho ngo-Adamu no-Eva, “ngakho-ke indoda iyakushiya uyise nonina inamathele kumkayo.” Ukudedela kungaba yinto enzima kakhulu kumzali ukuyenza - kepha kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokusiza ingane yakho nomlingani wakhe baphumelele ndawonye emshadweni wabo.