-Delile
- Kodwa-ke ngifuna ukuba neqiniso, ngoba ukushada kuyinto enkulu
- Imfihlo Yempumelelo
- Musa ukuzinza ngokujwayelekile
Ukushada? Akuyona into encane leyo.
Njengoba impilo imfushane, kuningi okwenzekayo phakathi nayo, futhi ukunquma ukushada kusho ukuthi uthatha isinqumo sokuhamba kukho konke ukujikajika kohambo lwempilo ndawonye - noma ngabe yini. Ukushada kusho ukuthi noma ngabe kuba nzima, futhi kuzoba nzima, ukuthi noma ngabe anithandani kakhulu, futhi kuzoba nezikhathi, noma ngabe uzizwa ucindezelekile futhi uwedwa futhi ungenathemba ngobuhlobo bakho (futhi kubi njengalokho kuzwakala, izikhathi ezinjalo azivamile) ... ngeke nishiye omunye nomunye. Ngeke ululahle uthando lwakho.
Ukushada kusho ukuthi usuvale umnyango wokuhamba. Kokuhle noma kokubi, nobabili nikulokhu ndawonye Manje angisho ukuthi lokhu kube ngumbono omubi noma owesabekayo ngomshado. Ekwenzeni lokhu ukuzibophezela komunye nomunye, ungaqiniseka ukuthi awusoze wabhekana nezinselele zokuphila wedwa. Unomlingani wokuphila kwakho konke, osebenza naye, umngane omkhulu, ohamba naye nesithandwa sakho. Unomuntu ongabelana naye zonke izikhathi ezinhle, ezinhle nezishintsha impilo futhi. Futhi leyo yinto okufanele uyijabulele ngokweqiniso. Komunye nomunye, uthole lokho engikukholelwayo ukuthi umuntu ngamunye useshelani. Halala!
Kodwa-ke ngifuna ukuba neqiniso, ngoba ukushada kuyinto enkulu
Njengoba nje sifisa ukufana nemibhangqwana yezizukulwane ezedlule — ukuhlala emishadweni yethu impilo yonke, ukuguga ngothando lwempilo yethu — iqiniso ukuthi siphila esikweni lapho, ngesikhathi iningi labashadikazi lifinyelela abaneminyaka engamashumi amahlanu, cishe isigamu sabo bazohlukaniswa noma bahlukaniswe (I-Kennedy & Ruggles, 2014). Njengoba kunikezwe lezibalo eziqavile, umcabango wokukwenza sonke isikhathi sakho sempilo ndawonye ungahle ubonakale unzima. Kepha ungesabi, UNGAKWENZA.
Kunconyiwe - Inkambo Yangaphambi Komshado
Imfihlo Yempumelelo
Ngingathanda ukwabelana ngemfihlo encane engiyifundile ngomshado, nokuthi ngicabanga ukuthi kuzoqinisa kakhulu isibopho esingcwele phakathi kwakho nalowo ozoba ngumlingani wakho. Naka, ngoba angicabangi ukuthi abantu abaningi bayakwazi lokhu.
Umshado ngumshini okhulisa abantu: Ebudlelwaneni bakho, uzohlangabezana ngqo nezinselelo ozidingayo ukuze ukhule futhi ukuze upholishe imiphetho yakho. Umshado wakho uzokunika ithuba elanele lokuba yinguqulo yakho engcono kakhulu. Ukwazi lokhu, ungazibona izikhathi ezinzima ukuthi ziyini — amathuba okuhlanza indlu nokukhanya.
Cabanga ukuthi esizukulwaneni sethu, silindele okuningi emshadweni, mhlawumbe ngaphezu kwezizukulwane ezedlule. Kulezi zinsuku, umshado awukona nje ukuba nomngane, noma ukukhulisa izingane, noma ukuthola ukuvikeleka kwezezimali, njengoba kwakunjalo ngaphambili. Umshado, manje, umayelana nokukhulisa imiphefumulo yethu, ukuxhuma nomunye umuntu ezingeni lokusondelana nokuphepha okungajwayelekile ukufinyelelwa. Imayelana nokwaziwa ngokuphelele, nokwazi omunye ngokuphelele, nokwamukelwa nokukhulekelwa kukho konke ubunzima bethu nobubi. Silindele ukuthi umshado ube yisipiliyoni sothando olujulile, ububele, uthando, ukuzijabulisa, ukuphepha, nobunye esimweni sokuhlala ungumuntu ohlukile, omuhle, ohlonishwayo nothakazelwayo. Kepha ukufeza lolu hlobo lobudlelwano kungumsebenzi onzima! Umsebenzi owesabekayo, osengozini, kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nobuhlungu ... futhi, ngikholwa ukuthi, futhi kuwumsebenzi ozuzisa kakhulu futhi owanelisa kakhulu esingawenza.
Ngicabanga ukuthi mhlawumbe esinye sezizathu sokuthi imishado eminingi iphele yingoba abantu abayiqondi le mfihlo ngaphambi kokuba bashade. Bangena emshadweni ngakho konke okulindelwe okuhle okungalethwa umshado, kodwa babe nolwazi oluncane ngendlela umshado osiphoqa ngayo ukuthi sikhule noma ukuthi kungaba nzima kanjani kwesinye isikhathi. Sikhula ngomqondo wothando wokuthi uthando nomshado kuyinjabulo nenjabulo kuze kube phakade, kuthi uma kungenjalo, abantu bayeke. Noma singena emshadweni silindele ukuthi inhlansi izophela futhi ishiye umqondo wokuthi lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile, futhi akukho lutho esingakwenza ngakho. Lapho-ke, lapho lokho kunesizungu kakhulu ukubekezelela, abantu bayabushiya ubudlelwano. Futhi emphakathini wanamuhla, ukushiya umshado kulula kunakuqala.
Musa ukuzinza ngokujwayelekile
Ngivame ukukhumbuza imibhangqwana ukuthi imishado “ejwayelekile” ayinkulu kangako, futhi ayihlali njalo. Ukuze uzibekele impumelelo, kufanele uhlose okungcono kunokujwayelekile. Ungesabi ukusebenza kanzima uma kukhuphuka nina nobabili, kodwa ningalungisi nakho. Funa ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado noma ukucebisa izithandani, iya kumelaphi wezocansi, ukuya ekwelulekeni kwezithandani, kumasifundisane, noma ekubuyeni. Yenza owakho umsebenzi wokukhula nokwelashwa. (Hei, sonke sinemithwalo esiyiletha ebudlelwaneni bethu!)
Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ungayeki. Noma umshado wakho unezinkinga zawo, uzophinda uqhamuke, ikakhulukazi uma ukhumbula imfihlo yami — ukuthi lezi zinselelo yizipho, izinsiza, namathuba okukhula. Ngakho-ke njengoba nikhetha omunye nomunye ngosuku lwenu lomshado, thembani ukuthi nenze isinqumo esifanele. Bese, niphinde nithandane futhi, nsuku zonke, ukuthi nithandana kanjani, futhi nithandane ikakhulukazi uma lo mshado uninselelo yokuthi nikhule. Khumbula, ukushada kuyinto enkulu — into enkulu, enhle, enhle, ekhulisa abantu.