-Delile
- Kunconyiwe - Gcina Inkambo Yami Yomshado
- Ezinye izingqinamba ezihlukile ebudlelwaneni bezitabane
- Izinkinga zomshado wezitabane nezixazululo
- Izindima zobulili kungenzeka zingachazwa kahle
- Izingane ezivela ebudlelwaneni obudlule
- Ukuba nengane ndawonye
Ubudlelwano bobulili obufanayo bunobuhle bazo kanye nezinkinga zazo. Izinkinga zobudlelwano bezitabane zibandakanya ukungavunyelwa ngabazali, ukungathembeki kwabobulili obufanayo, noma ukukhathazeka kokuhambisana nobulili ukubala okumbalwa.
Ezweni eliphelele, ubudlelwano bethu bungeke bube nezingxabano futhi buhlale bondla izingqondo nemizimba yethu, kepha asihlali emhlabeni ophelele. Uma uxhumeke kothile ngomqondo wothando, nakanjani izinkinga zizovela lapho ufunda ukuhlanganisa izimpilo ezimbili ndawonye.
Lokhu kujwayelekile futhi kungaba yithuba elihle kakhulu lokuthuthukisa amakhono abalulekile azokusiza ukuthi uphathe futhi uxoxisane ngezinselelo hhayi kwabashadikazi bakho kuphela kodwa nakwezinye izindawo zokuphila.
Uma uhlangabezana nezinkinga zobudlelwano bobulili obufanayo, yiziphi ezinye izindlela ongazenza zibe ngamathuba okufunda?
Funda ukuze uthole ukuqonda ngezinkinga zobudlelwano bezitabane futhi ufune izimpendulo zemibuzo ethile yobudlelwano bezitabane ongahle ube nayo.
Kunconyiwe - Gcina Inkambo Yami Yomshado
Ezinye izingqinamba ezihlukile ebudlelwaneni bezitabane
Emphakathini olawulwa yisiko lobulili obuhlukile, ungahlangabezana nezinkinga ezithile zobudlelwano bezitabane ezivela ngaphandle kobuhlobo bakho.
Ezinye zezinkinga ezijwayelekile zifaka phakathi ukungavunyelwa ngumndeni (ikakhulukazi kwabazali), ukuzonda abathandana nabobulili obufanayo emphakathini, ikakhulukazi uma uhlala engxenyeni yezwe lapho ukuba yisitabane kubhekwa njengokungajwayelekile, nokubandlululwa (okusobala noma okucashile) emsebenzini.
Wonke la mandla angaphandle anezela ezinkingeni zezithandani ezingama-gay futhi angadala izinkinga ngaphakathi ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Umlingani wakho kungenzeka angavumelani nendlela ophatha ngayo isimo sabazali bakho ngobudlelwano bakho bobulili obufanayo, noma ucasuke lapho ungazimele ngokulwa nenhlamba yobungqingili noma isenzo sokubandlulula ehhovisi.
Kubalulekile ukubhekana nalezi zinkinga ezihambisana nezinkinga zobudlelwano bezitabane ndawonye bese uqhamuka namasu athile okuzikhiqiza ukuzilawula ngaphambi kokuba zihlasele izimpi ezilimaza ubudlelwano.
Okusemqoka ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngendlela eveza ukuqonda nokwamukela ekutholeni isisombululo ndawonye. Ufuna ukubhekana nalezi zinsongo zangaphandle njengeqembu.
Mhlawumbe ufinyelela kumaqembu akho okusekelwa e-LGBT, abekade ekhona lapho ukhona manje, ukuthola izeluleko ezakhayo (nezomthetho) zokuthi ungazisingatha kanjani lezi nezinye izinkinga ngomshado wezitabane.
Izinkinga zomshado wezitabane nezixazululo
Izinkinga zobudlelwano bezitabane zingaqina uma omunye wenu ephumile kanti omunye wenu engekho. Ukuphuma kuyinkqubo ebalulekile yokufuna ubunikazi bakho beqiniso nokuphila ngokweqiniso.
Kepha kuthiwani uma uthanda umuntu ongakhululekile emphakathini ngokwazi ukuthi ukhetha ukulala nobani?
Lokhu kungabeka umgoqo wangempela ebudlelwaneni, njengoba umlingani ongaphandle kwekhabethe azi ukuthi uthando lweqiniso luqala ngokuzithanda kweqiniso, futhi ukuzithanda kuqala ngokuphila njengoba unjalo, ubulili buhlanganisiwe.
Uma uzwa ukuthi umlingani wakho ufuna ukuphuma kepha angazi ukuthi uzoqala kuphi, yiba ngumsekeli ngangokunokwenzeka. Yabelana ngolwazi lwakho nabo.
Khumbula ukuthi ekubhekaneni nezinkinga zobudlelwano bobungqingili, ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo. Batshele ukuthi kwakubaluleke kangakanani ukuthi impilo yakho yengqondo iphile njengomuntu obala ngobungqingili.
Batshele ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ukuphuma kuyinqubo enzima, kepha ukuhlala usondelene kusenzima kakhulu, nokuthi ubudlelwano benu abunakuqhakaza ngaphandle kokuthi nobabili niphila njengabantu abathandanayo abasesitabane.
Qinisekisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uzobe ukhona ukubasekela njengoba beqala le nqubo enzima. Finyelela kumaqembu e-LGBT asekelayo ukuze ulalele ukuthi bazisingatha kanjani izinkinga zabo zomshado wobulili obufanayo, bese wabelana ngezakho.
Izindima zobulili kungenzeka zingachazwa kahle
Kubudlelwano bobulili obufanayo, izindima zobulili ezakhelwe umphakathi zingase zingabi bikho ngokuphelele noma zibe uketshezi. Kuyinganekwane ukuthi ubudlelwano bobungqingili bunomlingani oyedwa "owesilisa owengeziwe" kanye nomlingani oyedwa "owesifazane owengeziwe".
Abesifazane ababili ndawonye bangeza bobabili ebudlelwaneni izici ezithandwayo zabesifazane zokucabanga ngokweqile nokugqekeza imizwa yabo. Abesilisa ababili bangaletha izici zobuntu besilisa ezigxile ekugxileni kakhulu ocansini futhi bangaxhumani nemizwa yabo.
Lokhu kungaholela ekulinganisweni okucebisa kakhulu ohlangothini olulodwa, ngaphandle kwenzuzo yombono ophikisayo.
Ukuletha umuntu oqeqeshiwe ozolekelela engxoxweni ngezinkinga zomshado wezitabane noma zobungqingili kungasiza ekutholeni leyo "ngxenye elahlekile" okungenzeka ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho bobulili obufanayo abukho.
Izingane ezivela ebudlelwaneni obudlule
Oyedwa noma nobabili ningaba nezingane ezivela ebudlelwaneni obudlule.
Njenganoma imuphi umndeni ohlangene, ukwakha iyunithi ebandakanya wonke umuntu futhi ehloniphayo kuyinkimbinkimbi futhi kudinga ukubekezela nokuxhumana okuhle.
Ngaphambi kokuzibophezela, kuwukuhlakanipha ukuxoxa ngemibono yakho ngokukhulisa izingane, imfundo, nokuthi uzombandakanya kanjani lowo owayengumlingani kuleli lungiselelo elisha.
Kubalulekile ukubeka phambili inhlalakahle yengane noma yezingane, futhi ngalokho, kufanele wazi ukuthi umlingani wakho omusha usekhasini elifanayo nawe ekuqaleni ukugwema izinkinga zobudlelwano bezitabane.
Ukuba nengane ndawonye
Kuyinsakavukela ukubona izithandani eziyizitabane zikhulisa ndawonye.
Ukuba ngabazali okokuqala ngqa kungenye yezinqumo ezinkulu kakhulu empilweni ongazenza, noma ngabe ungowobungqingili noma ungungqingili.
Kepha kunezinye izithiyo ezingaphakama kubantu abashadile, kufaka phakathi:
Okwemibhangqwana engqingili:
- Ngubani ozonikeza isidoda? Umngane, ilungu lomndeni, ibhange lesidoda?
- Uma ubaba aziwa, kungaba yini ukuzibandakanya kwakhe empilweni yengane?
- Yimuphi owesifazane ozoba ngumama ophilayo (athwale ukukhulelwa)?
- Imisebenzi yokuba ngumzali nokuthi uzibona kanjani izindima zakho zobulili nengane
- Ungayikhulisa kanjani ingane emphakathini ophethe ubungqingili: ukufundisa ukubekezelelana nokuzwela kwe-LGBT
- Isimo esisemthethweni sabashadikazi abathandana nabangqingili, nokuthi kuzokwenzekani mayelana nokugcinwa kwabazali uma ningehlukana
Okwemibhangqwana yabesilisa abesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandana nabesilisa abathandanayo:
- Ngabe izwe lakho noma izwe lakho livumela imibhangqwana eyizitabane ukwamukela?
- Ungakucabanga ukusebenzisa umngane njengommeleli? Yimuphi kini onganikeza isidoda?
- Imisebenzi yokuba ngumzali nokuthi uzibona kanjani izindima zakho zobulili nengane
- Ungayikhulisa kanjani ingane emphakathini ophethe ubungqingili: ukufundisa ukubekezelelana nokuzwela kwe-LGBT
- Isimo esisemthethweni sabathandana nabobulili obufanayo, nokuthi kuzokwenzekani mayelana nokugcinwa kwezingane uma kufanele nihlukane
Ubungqingili noma ubungqingili, bonke ubudlelwane bunezinkinga zabo. Ngakho-ke, ungacabangi ukuthi uhlukile uma uhlangabezana nezinkinga zobudlelwano bobungqingili.
Kepha ngokuxhumana okuhle, nesifiso sokuthola izixazululo ezizwakalayo, izinkinga zakho zobudlelwano bobungqingili zingasetshenziswa ngokuqinile ukuqinisa isibopho sakho futhi, nokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana onakho nomunye.