-Delile
- Awuwedwa
- Lisekhona ithemba
- 1. I-inthanethi
- 2. Izikhungo zomphakathi
- 3. Izitolo zomakhelwane kanye nemisebenzi
- 4. Imiphakathi ephakeme ephilayo
Akukaze kwephuze kakhulu ukuthola uthando. Eqinisweni, abantu abayisikhombisa kwabayishumi abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-75 bacabanga ukuthi awukaze umdala kakhulu ukuba ungathandwa.
Izazi ze-Gerontologists ziyavuma ukuthi ezothando, ezothando nemisebenzi yomphakathi ziyingxenye ebalulekile yenqubo yokuguga. Zinezinzuzo zangempela zezempilo nezinga lempilo eminyakeni ezayo.
Kukhona ukulangazelela wonke umuntu anakho ngomngane wakhe, umuntu ahlanganyela naye izindaba futhi afihle kuze kube sebusuku. Akunandaba ukuthi sibadala kangakanani, ukuzizwa sithandwa kuyinto okufanele siyazise njalo.
Isifiso sabathandi abasondelene asifi, futhi kubalulekile ukuhlangana ngamaqembu aku-inthanethi nasekuhambeni kwamaqembu. Indlela enhle yokuhlangana nabantu ukuzethula.
Awuwedwa
Kube nokuxoxisana isikhashana noJoan Didion; ubhale incwadi ngesikhumbuzo sokushona komyeni wakhe, iThe Year of Magical Thinking, yaphumelela kakhulu futhi yawina iNational Book Award ngo-2005.
Lowo obexoxa naye wambuza, “Uyafuna ukushada futhi?” Futhi uJoan, osevile eminyakeni engu-70, uphendule wathi: “Hhayi, cha, ungashadi, kodwa ngingathanda ukuphinde ngithandane!”
Hhayi, besingeke sonke?
Ngokumangazayo, abantu abadala yizingxenye ezikhula ngokushesha kunazo zonke ezithandweni ezenziwa online. Ngokusobala, uma kukhulunywa ngesifiso sokuthandana, uJoan akayedwa.
Uma kukhulunywa ngokuthandana noma ngisho nokwenza abangane abasha, iminyaka yobudala iyinombolo nje.
Kwabaningi, ubudlelwano bothando buye bafika badlula kuyo yonke le minyaka, ngenxa yezizathu eziningi. Akunandaba noma ngabe yini izizathu zobudlelwano obudlulile baphela, sonke singavuma ukuthi isigaba se-honeymoon sanoma yibuphi ubudlelwano sifanelwe wuswazi.
Isilinganiso sami engisithandayo ngu I-Lao Tzu futhi ithi - Ukuthandwa kakhulu ngumuntu kukunikeza amandla ngenkathi ukuthanda umuntu ngokujulile kukunika isibindi.
Kukhona okuthile ngokuthandwa okukwenza uzizwe ukhethekile, ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Uthando olutholayo lukwenza uqine futhi likunikeze ukukhanya okukhazimulayo. Lapho omunye umuntu ezwa uthando lwakho, nabo bazizwa benokuzethemba futhi bejabule, kuba yinto esheshayo.
Uma uthanda omunye umuntu uyazi ukuthi ekuqaleni uzibeka engcupheni, angaphinde akuthande, angahle angabi nemizwa efanayo yothando. Noma iyiphi indlela lokho kulungile, uthando luthatha isibindi.
Lisekhona ithemba
Abantu abaningi namuhla abakashadi eminyakeni yabo engamashumi ayisithupha. Lokhu kungaba umphumela wedivosi, ngoba bangumfelokazi noma umfelwa, noma ngoba bengakamtholi umuntu ofanele okwamanje.
Izindaba ezimnandi ukuthi, kunabantu abadala abaningi abathola inhlansi yothando entsha, futhi mhlawumbe engalindelekile, kamuva empilweni; kwesinye isikhathi kuma-70s, 80s noma 90s abo.
Kule minyaka eyishumi edlule amazinga ehlukaniso akhuphukile, kanjalo nenani labesilisa nabesifazane abathola uthando futhi ngemuva kobudlelwano besikhathi eside. Abantu abadala abaningi bafuna uthando empilweni yabo, umlingani abangahlanganyela naye izinsuku zabo, futhi ungaba yilowo muntu.
Kunezakhamizi eziningi ezinempilo nezinokuqonda emiphakathini yomhlalaphansi ezizokutshela ukuthi thanda akuyona eyentsha kuphela, futhi baqinisile. Sonke sifanelwe ukuthandwa nokuthandwa.
Ungalutholaphi uthando lwakho olusha
1. I-inthanethi
Ngokocwaningo lwePew Research Center lwango-2015, u-15% wabantu abadala baseMelika kanye no-29% walabo ababengashadile nabafuna umaqondana bathi basebenzise uhlelo lokusebenza lokuphola noma isiza sokuphola online ukuze bangene ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside.
2. Izikhungo zomphakathi
Izikhungo zomphakathi zinemikhosi emnandi nokuvakasha ezindaweni ezivumela abantu abadala abaningi ukuba bahlangane, bahlangane futhi bavuseleleke emphakathini. Izikhungo zomphakathi eziphezulu ziyindlela elula yokuhlangana nabanye abanentshisekelo efanayo emphakathini wakho.
3. Izitolo zomakhelwane kanye nemisebenzi
Abanye abantu bathanda ukuhlangana nabantu "ngendlela yakudala", ngiyaqonda, yile ndlela engahlangana ngayo nomyeni wami.
Izindawo ezinjengezitolo zegilosa zomakhelwane, imitapo yolwazi, izitolo zekhofi, noma izindawo zokuzilibazisa yizindawo ezinhle zokuhlangana nomlingani ongaba naye noma umngani omusha nje.
Ngenkathi le ndlela ingaba yinselele kakhulu ukuhlangabezana nomlingani ongaba khona lapho uphumela esitolo, iyenzela indaba yothando.
4. Imiphakathi ephakeme ephilayo
Abantu abadala abaningi bathola ubungani nothando emiphakathini ephezulu yabantu; kungaba kuphila okusizwayo noma ukuzimela, ngokuba seduze nokwabelana ngemisebenzi, ukudla nokuhlala ndawonye kule miphakathi ebumbene kufaka isandla kwikhwalithi yempilo yabantu abadala.
Noma ngabe unquma ukuthuthela emphakathini ophilayo ozimele noma useshe ku-inthanethi, kubalulekile ukuthi ubambe usuku bese uqala ukusesha kwakho ozokuhlanganyela naye.
Ukhiye ubukeka uphonsela inselelo izinganekwane mayelana nokuguga ezisabalele emphakathini wethu.
Ngemuva kwakho konke, asikakhuli.