-Delile
Kwase kuhlwile, bobabili uHenry noMarnie babekhathele; UMarnie waphuthuma wafisa sengathi ngabe uHenry ngabe wasiza ngokugeza izingane kunokuba "azikhohlise ngekhompyutha yakhe." UHenry wazivikela ngokushesha, wathi wayegoqa okuthile ukuze enze umsebenzi, futhi ngaphandle kwalokho lapho esiza izingane uMarnie uhlale ebheka lokho akwenzayo. Ingxabano yaqala ukuba mubi futhi yathukuthela ngokushesha, uHenry wagxadazela walala egumbini lokulala eliseceleni.
Ngakusasa ekuseni, bahlangana ekhishini. "Uxolo ngobusuku bangayizolo." "Nami futhi." "Siyaphila?" "Impela." "Hug?" "Kulungile." Ziyakha. Baqedile. Silungele ukudlulela phambili.
Kepha cha, abaqedile. Ngenkathi kungenzeka ukuthi bawathulisile amanzi ngokomzwelo, abangakwenzanga ukubuyela emuva mayelana nokukhuluma ngezinkinga. Lokhu ngandlela thile kuyaqondakala - besaba ukuthi ukuletha isihloko futhi kuzoqala enye impikiswano. Futhi kwesinye isikhathi ekukhanyeni kosuku, impikiswano yangobusuku bokugcina ibingeyona into ebaluleke kepha bobabili beyimvithi futhi bezwela ngoba bekhathele futhi becindezelekile.
Izinkinga zokushanela ngaphansi kombhoxo
Kepha badinga ukuthi baqaphele bangasebenzisi ukucabanga okunjalo njengokuzenzakalelayo kwabo. Ukushanela izinkinga ngaphansi kombhoxo kusho ukuthi izinkinga azixazululeki, futhi zihlala zikulungele ukubhebhethekisa inani elifanele lokukhathala ebusuku, noma kancane kotshwala. Futhi ngoba izinkinga azixazululeki, intukuthelo yakha ngakho-ke lapho ingxabano ishuba, kulula ukuthi isuke kojantshi ngokushesha okukhulu; futhi bayayicindezela phansi, baqhubekisele phambili umjikelezo omubi ongapheli.
Indlela yokumisa umjikelezo, yiqiniso, ukungahambisani nemizwelo yakho, khuphuka, ulwe nokukhathazeka kwakho, futhi uthathe ingozi yokukhuluma ngenkinga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lapho imizwa isizolile. Lokhu kubuyela emuva, noma lokho uJohn Gottman akubize ocwaningweni lwakhe ngemibhangqwana, ukubuya nokulungisa. Uma ungakwenzi, kulula kakhulu ukusebenzisa ibanga ukugwema izingxabano; ukusondelana kulahlekile ngoba nobabili nihlala nizwa ukuthi nihamba ezindaweni ezinezimayini ezingokomzwelo futhi anikwazi ukuvuleka futhi nethembeke.
Ngenhlanhla, iningi lethu liyakwazi ukwenza ukujikeleza okunjalo kubunye ubudlelwano ngaphandle kwalabo esisondelene nabo. Uma umuntu esisebenza naye emhlanganweni wabasebenzi ebonakala ethukuthele ngokuphawula esikwenzile, iningi lethu liyakwazi ukuya kuye ngemuva komhlangano futhi sixolise ngokulimaza imizwa yakhe, sichaze izinhloso zethu nokukhathazeka kwethu, futhi sibhekane nezinkinga ezingahle zilinde. Kubudlelwano obuseduze konke lokhu kuba nzima kakhulu ngenxa yokubaluleka kobudlelwano, ukuvuleka kwethu nokugadwa kancane, ngenxa yokuvusa kalula amanxeba amadala wobuntwana.
Ufanele ukubiyela kanjani emuva?
Indawo yokuqala yokuzungeza emuva ukuzama ukwamukela lelo bhizinisi elifanayo, ingqondo yokuxazulula izinkinga. Yilapho uHenry esho khona ngemuva kokumbamba ukuthi usengathanda ukukhuluma ngokusiza uMarnie ngezingane ngesikhathi sokulala nangomuzwa wakhe wokulawulwa yimishini. Akudingeki ukuthi sikhulume ngakho manje lapho sigijimela ukulungiselela umsebenzi, uthi, kodwa mhlawumbe ngoMgqibelo ekuseni lapho izingane zibuka i-TV. Lokhu kunikeza uMarnie, noHenry isikhathi sokuqoqa imicabango yabo.
Futhi lapho behlangana ngoMgqibelo, bafuna ukwamukela leyo ngqondo enengqondo efana nebhizinisi ukuthi bazoba nomsebenzi. Bobabili badinga ukugxila ekuxazululeni izinkinga zabo bobabili, futhi bagweme ukungena ezingqondweni zabo ezingokomzwelo futhi bavikele izikhundla zabo baphikisana nokuthi iqiniso likabani elilungile. Cishe kufanele bayigcine imifushane - isho isigamu sehora - ukubasiza baqhubekele phambili futhi bangabuyeli emuva kokwedlule. Futhi uma kushuba kakhulu, badinga ukuvuma ukuma bese bephola.
Uma lokhu kubonakala kunzima kakhulu, bangazama futhi ukubhala imicabango. Okuhle lapha ukuthi banesikhathi sokwenza imicabango yakho, futhi bangafaka futhi basuse lokho abacabanga ukuthi omunye angakucabanga. Lapha uHenry uthi akazami ukugxeka uMarnie, futhi akakwazisi konke akwenzela izingane. Lapha uMarnie uthi uyaqonda ukuthi uHenry kufanele ahlole ama-imeyili akhe ebusuku ukuze athole umsebenzi, nokuthi akaqondile ukwenza izinto ezincane kepha unemikhuba yakhe nezingane futhi kunzima ukukuyeka. Bobabili bangafunda lokho omunye akubhalile, bese behlangana ukuze baxazulule isixazululo esisebenzayo sabo bobabili.
Ukwelulekwa njengenketho
Ekugcineni, uma zibangelwa kalula kakhulu futhi lezi zingxoxo zinzima kakhulu, bangafuna ukwenza ukwelulekwa okuncane. Umeluleki anganikeza indawo ephephile engxoxweni, angabasiza bafunde amakhono okuxhumana futhi babone lapho ingxoxo isiya ngaphandle kwekhosi futhi abasize bayibuyisele esimweni. Angaze abuze imibuzo enzima mayelana nezinkinga ezingaba yingxenye eziyingxenye yenkinga yezinkinga.
Futhi ukucabanga ngalokhu njengamakhono wokufunda kahle kuyasiza futhi kunempilo. Ekugcineni akukhulunywa ngezikhathi zokulala noma ukuthi ngubani onephutha, kepha thina, njengombhangqwana, sifunda kanjani ukuba nezingxoxo ezifanayo, zokuxazulula izinkinga ezibavumela ukuba bezwakale, bazizwe beqinisekisiwe futhi nezikhalazo zixazululwe ngendlela enhle .
Izinkinga zingahlala zivela, kepha ukuba nekhono lokuzibeka ekuphumeni kuyisihluthulelo sempumelelo yobudlelwano.