-Delile
Njengabantu, sonke sifisa ukuzizwa sithandwa ngokungenamibandela. Ukuzizwa ngathi silunge ngokwanele njengoba sinjalo.
Lapho sihlangana 'noyedwa,' sigibela phezulu ngomuzwa wokuthi othile esizizwa emangalisa kakhulu ubona okuthile okufanele kithi.
Thina (okwesikhashana) siyabamukela ngaphandle kwemibandela. Asiziboni iziphambeko noma amaphutha.
Ngemuva kwesikhashana, ifu lenjabulo liyaphakama. Izinto ezincane ziqala ukusikhathaza omunye nomunye, futhi imizwa yokunganeliseki ingena kancane kancane ebudlelwaneni bethu.
Lo mbhalo uchaza kabanzi ukuthi, ngokuzazi kwakho nokwamukela wena, ungakuhlakulela noma uthole ukwaneliseka empilweni ngokwenza umzamo oqondile wokulawula izimpendulo zomzimba nezengqondo zomzimba wakho ezimweni ezahlukahlukene ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Indaba yebhayoloji
Injabulo esiyizwa ekuqaleni kobudlelwano ingumphumela wokungena kwesikhashana esifushane kwamahomoni kanye namakhemikhali ezinto eziphilayo enzelwe ukuqinisekisa ukuthi izinhlobo zethu ziyaphila.
La mahomoni asigcina sikhanga omunye komunye. Banomthelela emizweni yethu nasemicabangweni yethu, yingakho sibona ukuthi ama-idiosyncrasies athile ayathandeka kulezo zinyanga zokuqala kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi akubone kucasula.
Njengokugcina lezi zinhlobo ziphila, la "makhemikhali othando" agcina leyo micabango ejwayelekile kakhulu igxeka, nemicabango yokuzilimaza ithule isikhashana.
Kepha uma imizimba yethu isibuyela esimeni esikhona, sisale sidabula uhla lwemizwa yabantu ezizwa inzima kakhulu kithina futhi isenze sizizwe singazinzile.
Sonke sijwayelene nemizwa yecala noma sizizwe sinesibopho, nobunzima esifubeni obuhambisana nakho.
Cishe wonke umuntu uyazi imizwa yokugula esemgodini wesisu ohambisana namahloni. Ukushisa okubomvu okushisa esifubeni sethu lapho sizizwa sithukuthele noma sicasukile nakho kungakhululekile.
Asifuni ukuzwa lezi zinto, futhi sibheka emithonjeni yangaphandle ukuzenza zihambe futhi zisisize “sizizwe singcono.”
Kaningi, sithembela kozakwethu ukuthi babe ngumthombo wenduduzo yethu futhi sithukuthele lapho besilela noma "beyimbangela" yemizwa yethu kwasekuqaleni.
Kodwa-ke, ngenxa yokuntuleka kokuzazi, abantu abaningi abangaqapheli ukuthi le mizwa nemizwa yomzimba ehambisana nayo empeleni iyizinkumbulo.
Lokho kusho ukuthi kudala lapho ukuxhunyaniswa nabanakekeli bethu ngokuyinhloko bekuyindaba yokuphila nokufa, umzimba wethu wafunda ukuphendula kunoma isiphi isibonakaliso sokungajabuli, ukwenqatshwa, ukudana, noma ukunqanyulwa kubanikezeli bethu bokunakekela ngengcindezi.
Lezi zikhathi zokunqanyulwa okubonakalayo nezimpendulo zomzimba wethu ziyakhunjulwa futhi zikhunjulwe njengezindaba zokusinda. Kodwa yini ukucindezeleka okuhlobene nemizwa?
Ukucindezeleka, ukusinda, nemizwelo
Lapho umzimba wenza kusebenze i- ukucindezeleka impendulo, ibuye ithumele ama-hormone namakhemikhali ezinto eziphilayo emzimbeni, kepha zehluke kakhulu kunalezo ezikhishwe emzimbeni wethu lapho sithandana.
Lezi zithunywa zamangqamuzana zithunyelwa ngempendulo yokusinda futhi zidala ukungakhululeki emizimbeni yethu eklanyelwe ukukhombisa ingozi nokuqala isenzo sokusindisa izimpilo zethu — okungukuthi, ukulwa noma ukubaleka.
Kepha esimweni sobuntwana, lapho lezi zimpendulo ziqala ukwenzeka futhi zikhunjulwa, asikwazi ukwenza okunye, ngakho-ke siyaqina, futhi esikhundleni salokho, siyazivumelanisa.
Inqubo yokuzivumelanisa nezimo ingokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu jikelele.
Iqala ezikhathini zokuqala zempilo, iyasiza kithi esikhathini esifushane (ngemuva kwakho konke, uma ubaba esitshela ukuthi singakhali noma uzosinika into esizokhala ngayo, sifunda ukuyimunca), kepha isikhathi eside, kudala izinkinga.
Isisekelo salokhu impendulo yethu yengcindezi ye-neurobiological, okuyingxenye yephakheji yokusebenza eyisisekelo esizalwa nayo (khona kanye nokushaya kwenhliziyo yethu, ukusebenza kwamaphaphu ethu, kanye nohlelo lwethu lokugaya ukudla).
Ngenkathi ukuqalwa kwale mpendulo kuzenzakalela (noma kunini lapho ibona ubungozi noma usongo), impendulo yethu kuleso siga iyafundwa futhi ikhunjulwe.
Izinkumbulo zokusinda
Kubo bonke ubuntwana kuze kube sebudaleni, izimpendulo zomzimba wethu ezifundwe engozini ebonakalayo ziqala ukusebenzisana nezingqondo zethu (njengoba zikhula).
Ngakho-ke, okuqala njengempendulo elula yokuvuselela / ye-neurobiological (cabanga ngesirhubuluzi esithukile esigijimela ikhava), sithatha imicabango yokuzigxeka nokuzigxeka endleleni, nayo efundwayo futhi ekhunjulwayo — futhi ehlose ukugcina ezinye umuzwa wokuphepha ngendlela yokulawula.
Isibonelo, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuba sengozini encane ukunquma ukuthi asithandeki kunokuthembela ukuthi singabantu futhi sizizwe silahliwe futhi sibanzi. Cabanga ngalezi zinkumbulo zomzimba wobuntwana njengembiza yezimabula eziluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka.
Ngesikhathi sesibadala, futhi injabulo yothando olusha iphela, sisele nembiza egcwele yamamabula aluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka (ephelelwe yisikhathi futhi engaphansi kwezinkumbulo zomzimba eziwusizo).
Umuntu ngamunye kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo uletha imbiza egcwele i-visceral / imizwa / umcabango ophelelwe yisikhathi izinkumbulo ebudlelwaneni.
Umqondo ukudala ukuziqwashisa okwengeziwe futhi uhambisane kakhudlwana nalokho esizizwayo nokuthi kungani sizizwa ngaleyo ndlela.
Ukuzamukela ngokweqile
Umkhuba wokwamukela ngokweqile uqala ngokuba nokuzazi ngokwengeziwe noma ukuthola ukuzazi.
Okusho ukuthi ungathola injabulo ngokuzazi ngokwamukela okwenzekayo emzimbeni wakho okwamanje.
Cabanga ngesikhathi lapho wezwa imizwa yokwesaba, isibopho, amahloni, noma intukuthelo maqondana nomlingani wakho noma ubuhlobo.
Kungenzeka ihlobene nokuzizwa ulahliwe, noma ungaqondwa kahle, noma ungathandwa noma wenze okuthile okungalungile noma udidekile futhi wabanzi ngokubanzi.
Kuyavunywa, zonke lezi zikhathi zizizwa zijabule. Kepha ebuntwaneni, umzimba waphendula nge-alamu ukuthi impilo yethu uqobo isengcupheni.
Ngakho-ke, lapho umlingani wakho ezwakalisa ukungenami ngokuthile obekungaba wukuqapha okungenacala, izinkumbulo ezisemizimbeni yethu zibiza iqembu elisindisa impilo (lawo mahomoni kanye namakhemikhali ezinto ezakha ukuzwa komzimba okungathandeki).
Ngokuzazi ukuthi lokhu kusebenza kanjani, singaba nokuhlangenwe nakho okusha, okwakha izinkumbulo ezintsha (ake sithi amamabula aluhlaza) ukuze sishintshe ezindala.
Lokhu kungenzeka ngoba unobudlelwano obusha obunemizwa enzima yomzimba, imicabango nemizwa.
Ukwamukelwa okunamandla kungumphumela wokuhlangana umzuzu ngamunye ngalo mbono omusha, ukumiswa kwesahlulelo, kanye nokukwazi ukuma kancane ngaphambi kokuphendula.
Ukuthuthukisa lo mbono omusha, kufanele sizibophezele ekugxileni emizimbeni yethu futhi siyivume njengenkumbulo (imabula eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka).
Akunasidingo sokukhumbula noma yini; ikakhulukazi, kwanele ukwamukela ukuthi umzimba wakho uyakhumbula, futhi kuphendula ngememori yakudala — kube sengathi impilo yakho isengozini.
Imizwa yomzimba esiyizwayo ayiyona imbangela yokuhlupheka kwabantu. Ukuhlupheka kudalwa yimicabango esezingqondweni zethu.
Kungakho lapho samukela imizwa yalokho okuyikho — indlela yokuphendula kwethu ngokusinda kwe-neurobiological, singaqala ukudalula ukuhlupheka kwethu.
Singavuma ukuthi imicabango yethu iphinde ifundwe futhi ikhunjulwe impendulo engasasisizi (ingxenye yembiza yethu yemabula eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka).
Lapho sizijwayeza ukuzamukela ngokwedlulele, sinokuhlangenwe nakho okusha, futhi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kudala imicabango emisha futhi enelukuluku futhi enobubele.
Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho senza lokhu, sakha inkumbulo entsha (imabula eluhlaza) embizeni yethu.
Lokhu kuthatha isikhathi, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba imbiza yethu yememori igcwala ngokwengeziwe ngamamabula aluhlaza (okusha), ukufinyelela kwempendulo entsha / evuselelwe kuya ngokuya kube okuzenzakalelayo.
Izimpilo zethu zizizwa zingasindwa kakhulu, sizizwe sinezithemba futhi siqinile, futhi ubudlelwano bethu bunomthelela omuhle ngoba asisazibheki izimpendulo ngaphandle kwethu.
Uma wenza ukuzibophezela ekuhlanganeni umzuzu ngamunye nalo mbono omusha, kuzokwengeza ushintsho oluhlala njalo. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi udale ikhefu phakathi kwempendulo yomzimba wakho nemicabango nezenzo zakho (ezizenzekelayo).
Enye yezindlela eziwusizo kakhulu zokwenza leso sikhashana ukwengeza umkhuba olula empilweni yakho isikhathi ngasinye lapho uzizwa ucindezelekile. Nginikeze umkhuba owodwa ongezansi:
Ngokuzayo lapho uxabana nomlingani wakho, noma uzizwa ubanzi, ungaqondi kahle, noma unesibopho sesimo somzwelo somlingani wakho zama okulandelayo:
- Khuluma ngqo nomzimba wakho, uwutshele ukuthi lokhu kuzwakala kungokoqobo (umzimba ukukutshela ukuthi impilo yakho isengozini), kodwa akulona iqiniso.
- Thatha okungenani umoya ophefumulayo oyishumi njengoba uyalelwe lapha: donsa umoya ngamakhala akho uzwe isifuba sakho nesisu kufutha. Misa kancane. Khipha amakhala akho, uzizwe ukufutheka kwesifuba nesisu sakho. Misa kancane.
- Uma uthola ukuthi ingqondo yakho izulazula, zibone ngeso lengqondo izinombolo (cabanga ngesitayela seSesame Street) ekhanda lakho bese ubale phansi usuke kweyishumi uye koyedwa.
- Zibophezele ekungenzi lutho kuze kube yilapho uhlelo lomzimba wakho seluthule, futhi ingqondo yakho izizwa igxile futhi izinze.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imbiza yakho izogcwaliswa ngamamabula amasha enkumbulo, futhi ungaqhubeka nokusiza labo obathandayo ukuthi bathole umuzwa omusha wenkululeko, njengoba nje nawe wenze.
Ukuzazisa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuthola ukwaneliseka, okungathi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuholele ekwamukeleni, ngaleyo ndlela kusisize sithole injabulo eyengeziwe ezimpilweni zethu.