-Delile
- Kuyini ukusondelana ngokomzwelo?
- Kungani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kubalulekile emshadweni?
- Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho
- 1. Thembela kumlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuzibekela
- 2. Yazi ukuthi kungani ulapha, kulo mhlaba, futhi nalo muntu othile
- 3. Cabanga kahle
- 4. Yiba okwamanje
- Njengoba u-Oprah esho, yiba ngumuntu ongcono kakhulu
Ubudlelwano obuhle buyi-alchemy yezinto eziningi, phakathi kwazo kukhona amakhemikhali amahle wezocansi, ukuxhumana okuhle kakhulu phakathi kwalaba bantu ababili abathintekayo, ukubambisana, kanye nomqondo ojulayo wokusondelana ngokomzwelo.
Esokuqala kuvame ukuba lula ukusigcina, ikakhulukazi eminyakeni yokuqala yobudlelwano lapho ucansi lusha, luthokozisa futhi abashadikazi bafunda ngenjabulo ukuthi umzimba womunye nomunye usebenza futhi uphendula kanjani. Okwesibili, ukuxhumana, kungaba nzima ukukugcina kwesinye isikhathi emshadweni, ikakhulukazi lapho ubhekene nenkinga, kepha imibhangqwana esebenza ukuhlanganisa izindlela ezinhle zokuxhumana ithola ukuthi lokhu kunikela enjabulweni yabo. Ukubambisana njengababili, noma ngabe ukukhulisa izingane noma ukubhekana nemithetho, kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokugcina umshado wakho ujabulile. Kepha into yesine-ukusondelana ngokomzwelo-lokho kusho ukuthini impela? Kunenqwaba yezincwadi ezishicilelwe zokuthi ungaba kanjani nobulili obuhle, ungathuthukisa kanjani amakhono akho okuxhumana nokuthi ungasebenza kanjani njengeqembu, kepha ngabe kukhona umuntu owake wabhala i-Emotional Intimacy Book?
Kuyini ukusondelana ngokomzwelo?
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kungumphumela wokuba nekhono ngokomzwelo. Leli likhono lokukhomba nokuxhumana nemizwa yakho kanye nomlingani wakho futhi wamukele ukukhomba nokulalela umlingani wakho lapho ezwakalisa isimo sakhe semizwa nawe.
Kungani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kubalulekile emshadweni?
Ngaphandle kokuxhumana okungokomzwelo okujulile, lo mbhangqwana awuphelele futhi kungenzeka ungahlali ndawonye isikhathi eside. Ubulili obuhle bungabamba ubudlelwane ndawonye isikhathi eside. Kufanele kube nesisekelo sokushintshana ngokomzwelo ukuze abashadikazi bakhule ndawonye, bazane ngokuphelele, futhi banikezane isikhala sokukhombisa ukuba sengozini ngaphandle kokwesaba ukugxekwa noma ukuhlazeka. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuvumela umbhangqwana ukuba ube yiqiniso nge-100% komunye nomunye, futhi ube usazizwa uthandwa futhi uphephile.
Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho
Abesifazane babonwa njengobulili "obunemizwa" kakhulu futhi obungcono ekuvezeni imizwa. Bangabanakekeli, balalela ngesineke lapho ingane iba nosuku olubi noma incibilika ngokomzwelo. Basebenza ukuthola imizwa koshade nabo uma engeyena umuntu oveza imizwa ngokwemvelo.
Kodwa-ke, ukuze umbhangqwana usebenze ezingeni eliphilile, ngeke kube ngowesifazane kuphela osebenzela ukukhuthazeka ngokomzwelo. Uma lokhu kunjalo, umphumela wokugcina uzoba yintukuthelo nentukuthelo, umbono wokuthi munye kuphela wabalingani owenza konke ukuphakamisa okunzima ukwandisa ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo kwabashadikazi. Kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abalingani batshale imali ekwabelaneni ngesimo sabo somzwelo nokulalelisisa lapho omunye ezwakalisa imizwa yakhe.
Ukube umuntu ubengabhala i-Emotional Intimacy Book, ibingafaka okulandelayo:
1. Thembela kumlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuzibekela
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho obubaluleke kakhulu - umshado wakho - kumele bakhelwe esisekelweni sokwethembana okuphelele. Ngaphandle kokwethembana okujulile, awukwazi ukuzwa ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Uma ufihlela umuntu oshade naye izinto, njengokuthandana (online noma empilweni yangempela), akunakwenzeka ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuthathe izimpande futhi kukhule. Amandla wokuthemba umlingani wakho ngokuphelele, futhi akwenze akuthembe, ayadingeka ukondla ukusondelana okungokomzwelo nokukuvumela ukuthi kukhule phakathi kwakho.
2. Yazi ukuthi kungani ulapha, kulo mhlaba, futhi nalo muntu othile
Ngamunye wenu unezinkolelo nezinkolelo mayelana nokuthi yini eletha injongo empilweni yakhe. Njengoba wabelana ngalokhu, wakha isibopho nomlingani wakho. Lapho nobabili nithatha isembatho sothando lwenu, ukusondelana okungokomzwelo kuyajula. Ujoyinwe ngumsebenzi wenu ojwayelekile ukufinyelela kude nina ngokwenu nokunikela entweni enkulu kunawe.
Khomba ukuthi yini oyithandayo. Kungaba into efana nokusindisa iplanethi. Nqumani uhlobo lomsebenzi eningawenza ndawonye ukunikela ekufezeni leyo njongo. Izibonelo kungaba ukuzivolontiya ndawonye esikhungweni sokusebenzisa kabusha noma ukuya esikoleni sakini ndawonye ukwenza umhlangano wokufundisana nabafundi ngezindlela abangasiza ngazo ukusindisa iplanethi.
Lapho uthando lwakho lumataniswa nothile omthandayo, izinga lakho lokuzinikela ebudlelwaneni bakho liyakhula, futhi nezinga lokusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho lizokhula.
3. Cabanga kahle
Yeka isidingo sokulunga, isidingo sokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi enzeni, isidingo sokukhomba amaphutha akhe nobuthakathaka bakhe, kanye nesidingo sokugcina amaphuzu. Ukususa lezi zingqinamba zokusondelana ngokomzwelo kuzoholela emizweni emihle, yokusekela, neyomusa ukunikeza umlingani wakho.
Umlingani wakho uzokwenza izinto ezikucasulayo. Prakthiza ukuthethelela, bese ucabanga ukuthi impendulo yakho ingaba yini ekuziphatheni kwakhe. Ingabe ukumkhomba kungamlimaza? Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuthi ubhekane nokucasuka ngaphandle kokumsola ngakho, ngokusebenzisa, isibonelo, umyalezo othi "Mina"? Ngabe ungakucabangela ukuvumela ukucasuka kuqhubeke ngaphandle kokuphawula ngakho?
4. Yiba okwamanje
Enye yezindlela ezilula zokwengeza ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho ukukhanyisa ukunaka kwakho kuye lapho ekhuluma nawe. Beka phansi ifoni yakho, uyeke ukuthayipha kukhompyutha. Uma umile kusinki wenza izitsha, yima, uphendulele umzimba wakho kuye, bese umbheka emehlweni ngenkathi ulalele. Uzomangala ukuthi isici sokusondelana sikhula kanjani ngaleli phuzu elilodwa.
Njengoba u-Oprah esho, yiba ngumuntu ongcono kakhulu
Zijwayeze izinga eliphezulu lokuzinakekela maqondana nempilo yakho engokomzwelo. Uma unenkinga yokuveza imizwa yakho ngendlela enhle noma ungaqiniseki ngamasu amahle kakhulu okwenza lokhu, tshala imali ngezikhathi ezithile nomeluleki onguchwepheshe ongakunika imibono ethile. Ukuhambisa amandla akho ekubeni ngumuntu ongcono kakhulu futhi uzoba namandla angcono kakhulu okwandisa ukusondelana okungokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho.