-Delile
Ukuphila nokuthanda umuntu onesifo sengqondo kuyadabukisa, kuyacindezela, kuyinselele futhi kungakwenza uzizwe ungenamandla. Hhayi nje ngoba kufanele ubuke umuntu omthandayo ewohloka noma engalawuleki phambi kwamehlo akho, noma ngoba umlingani ogula ngengqondo angaba yingozi kuwe noma kubo uqobo. Kepha kukhona nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okungenzeka ngenxa yecala ongase ulibambe ngokuba ulungile (ngokufana necala lowasinda) noma ukubacasukela noma ukuzizwa ubathukuthele noma ukhungathekile ngabo ngenxa yesimo sabo sengqondo osazi ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukusilawula.
Ngakho-ke akumangazi ukuthi umshado onomlingani onesifo sengqondo uvame ukuholela esahlukanisweni, ngemuva kwakho konke, udinga ukuzinakekela futhi kungenjalo nizogula nobabili.
Kepha yiziphi izinselelo okufanele ubhekane nazo uma uhlela ukuhlukanisa owakwakho ophila nokugula kwengqondo? Yebo, le mibono ayikhethi kepha ibalulekile uma unomlingani onesifo sengqondo futhi isehlukaniso sisemakhadini.
Okuhlangenwe nakho kokulahlekelwa
Kunzima ngokwanele uma kufanele uhlukanise nomlingani ophilile. Noma ungasakwazi ngisho nokuma uzibuke kusazoba khona ukulahleka okuthile kulokho okwake kwaba khona nalokho okulahlekile. Kepha uma kufanele wehlukanise nothile ngoba engaphilile, lokho kuzokushaya kakhulu ngoba kuzohlala kunomphumela wokuthi 'kuthiwani uma'.
- Kuthiwani uma bekwazi ukululama bese ngibashiya ngibenze babi kakhulu?
- Kuthiwani uma bengakwazi ukubhekana bodwa?
- Kuthiwani uma bezibulala?
- Kuthiwani uma bengcono futhi ngibakhumbule?
- Kuthiwani uma ngingalokothi ngithande noma ubani ngendlela ebengimthanda ngayo owakwami lapho besaphila?
Nansi into, sonke sinemikhondo yethu empilweni, futhi asikwazi ukuphilela abanye impilo yethu (ngaphandle kokuthi sinezingane ezincane ezisasidinga).
'Kuthiwani uma' kungakaze kube yiqiniso. 'Kuthiwani uma kungenzeka' kungenzeka kungaze kwenzeke, futhi ukucabanga ngakho kungukucabanga okulimazayo okungakuwisa.
Ngakho-ke, uma ubhekene nomlingani wakho onesifo sengqondo futhi isehlukaniso ukuphela kwento ongayenza, yenza leso sinqumo ume ngaso. Vele uqinisekise ukuthi usiza oshade naye ukuthola usizo nokusekelwa abazokudinga ukubadlula. Landela lesi seluleko, usibeke esilevini futhi ungalokothi ubheke emuva - ukwenza kanjalo ukuzilimaza futhi akekho umuntu osengqondweni yakhe ofanele okufanele akwenze lokho!
Icala
Ngakho-ke unomlingani wakho onesifo sengqondo, isehlukaniso sisemakhadini, futhi noma wazi ukuthi kuyinto elungile awukwazi ukuzinqanda ungazizwa ukhubazekile ngenxa yecala.
- Unecala lokuthi awukwazi ukusiza oshade naye
- Unecala lokuthi uhlukanisile nomlingani wakho ogula ngengqondo
- Unecala lokuthi izingane zakho zinomzali ogula ngengqondo ongeke ukwazi ukumsiza.
- Guild mayelana nokuthi owakwakho onesifo sengqondo uzophila kanjani ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
- Unecala lokuthi ubungeke unamathele koshade naye kangcono, noma ngokubi.
Lolu hlu alupheli, kepha futhi, ludinga ukuma!
Awukwazi ukuvumela ukuthi ugule ngokukhathazeka nokuzizwa unecala ngenxa yalesi simo akusizi muntu. Uma unezingane udinga ukuqina ngazo futhi ukuzigcwalisa ngecala ngeke kusize noma ngubani ikakhulukazi oshade naye noma ezinye izingane onazo.
Zibekele wena nawo wonke umuntu ukhululekile ngokusebenza kanzima ukuqeda noma imiphi imizwa yecala. Vumela wena ukuvumela lelo cala lihambe manje futhi wakhe impilo entsha ukuze kuzuze bonke abathintekayo.
Indaba engokoqobo (enamagama ashintshiwe) ifaka unkosikazi obeneBiPolar Disorder enokuthambekela kwengqondo. Umyeni wakhe ubemi naye iminyaka kodwa wagcizelela ukuthi uhlala endlini yomfowabo futhi akamvumeli ukuthi anakekele indodana yakhe eyeve eshumini nambili (okuqondakalayo).
Kepha wamshiya enamathele ku-limbo ehlala endlini yomfowabo iminyaka ephila ngezethembiso ezingenamqondo zokuthi angabuya ekhaya ngenyanga ezayo, noma ezinyangeni ezimbalwa (okube yiminyaka) ngoba akakwazanga ukusingatha lesi simo futhi akazange wazi okufanele ukwenze.
Ekugcineni waba nobudlelwano bokushintsha leso sici somshado esilahlekile futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi wavumela unkosikazi wakhe ukuba abuyele ekhaya. Wayengajabule futhi engakwazi ukululama, wayazi ukuthi umshado wakhe usuphelile kepha wayengeke ahambe.
Kuthathe umndeni wakhe iminyaka eyishumi ukumkhuthaza ukuthi ahambe.
Ngemuva kweminyaka emihlanu, uyajabula, uyachuma, uyakwazi ukuhlala yedwa futhi akakhombisi zimpawu zokugula kwengqondo. Umyeni wakhe wangaphambili naye ujabule futhi uhlala nomlingani wakhe omusha, futhi bonke bazwana kahle kakhulu ngaphandle kwemizwa enzima nhlobo. Ukube umyeni wakhe wayemkhulule phambilini (lapho ayengakwazi ukukwenza), babezojabula ngokushesha okukhulu, noma ngabe kwakubonakala kunzima ngaleso sikhathi.
Lesi sibonelo esingenhla sikhombisa ukuthi awazi umphumela walokho okwenzayo, futhi awukwazi ukulawula omunye umuntu noma ukuphilela impilo yakho.
Awukwazi ukubeka impilo yakho eceleni noma wenze sengathi ungaphatha okuthile ngokungagwegwesi, kwezinye izimo, okunzima kakhulu ukubhekana nakho.
Uma unomlingani wakho ogula ngengqondo futhi isehlukaniso sisemakhadini, udinga ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ukunakekelwa kwabo kuyaphathwa nokuthi kubhekwana nabo ngozwela nozwela njengoba unikezela ukunakekelwa kwabo komunye umuntu. Ungahle ukwazi ukuhlala ungabangane nabo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa.
Noma yini oyithathayo, inqobo nje uma ungalimazi omunye umuntu ngamabomu, kufanele wamukele izimo ukuthi ziyini bese ubayeka bazi ukuthi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ngaleso sikhathi.
Futhi ngethemba, leso sinqumo kungaba konke okudingekayo ukusiza wonke umuntu othintekayo ukubhekana nalesi simo kangcono.
Ukukhathazeka
Umlingani wakho onezifo zengqondo uzokwazi kanjani ukubhekana nawe uma uhlukanisa nabo? Lo kungaba ngumbuzo owubuzayo futhi ongawubuza isikhathi eside ngemuva kwesahlukaniso. Impela bekuyinkinga kulesi simo esichazwe ngenhla - indoda ibingafuni ukwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu, kepha ibingakuhlomele ukubhekana nomlingani wayo ogula ngengqondo futhi ngemuva kwalokho yenze izinto zaba zimbi kakhulu.
Vele, kuzodingeka ubeke uhlelo lokuxhasa owakwakho njengengxenye yenqubo yesehlukaniso, futhi kunezeluleko eziningi ezizungezile, izinsizakalo eziningi nezinhlangano zosizo ezingasiza ekusebenziseni lokhu njengengxenye yesehlukaniso sakho inqubo yokuhlela.
Kepha uma ufaka isikhathi kulokhu futhi ungakushayi indiva, kuzokuthola kulula kakhulu ukushiya, wazi ukuthi oshade naye unokunakekelwa abakudingayo ukuze abasize baqhubekele phambili bese ungadedela ukukhathazeka.