-Delile
- 1. Zibophezele ekululekeni izithandani okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha
- 2. Khetha ukwehlukana okwesikhashana
Ama-50% wemibhangqwana eshadile e-United States, uma kungenjalo, iyahlukanisa. Izibalo azikashintshi iminyaka.
Kodwa ingabe kufanele kube njalo?
Akukwenzi. Ngisebenze nezinye zezimo ezihlanya kakhulu, njengokuhlukumeza ngokweqile emshadweni, lapho naphezu kwazo zonke izingqinamba, ngasiza lo mbhangqwana ukuba ushintshe umshado wawo ube obunye bobudlelwano obujule kakhulu nobuhle engake ngabubona.
Lapho abantu abaningi bengathi “kufanele bahlukane ngempela”, ngihlala ngithi awume kancane, ake silinde sibone.
Uma abantu ababili, noma noma ngabe oyedwa wabo ekuqaleni, angavuma ukubamba izinyawo zabo, kunezinto eziningi kakhulu esingazenza ukusindisa ubudlelwano ngaphambi kokuba bafe kabuhlungu, okubuhlungu.
Nayi indaba emayelana nezithandani engangisebenza nazo eminyakeni edlule ezaziseduze kwehlukaniso:
Umyeni ubethandana, ubengenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ufuna ukuluqeda lolu daba, kanti ngenkathi esesilebeni umkakhe uzama ukunquma ukuthi kufanele yini afake isehlukaniso noma cha. Umndeni nabangane bakhe babemtshela, ngoba wayengenayo intshisekelo ngokushesha yokushiya isithandwa sakhe, ukuthi wayedinga ukufaka ifayili ngokushesha. Kepha esikhundleni salokho, ngabelana naye lezi zinyathelo ezimbili ezingezansi, futhi wazilandela ngephuzu, ubuhlobo basindiswa.
Ngemuva kokusebenza naye isikhathi esingangenyanga, umyeni wangena futhi waqala ukulandela uhlelo olufanayo, nokwethusa yena nomndeni wakhe, bakwazi ukubuyisa uthando lwabo nokwakha umshado owawunamandla, uqine kakhulu lungakaqali ngisho udaba.
Ukulandela nje lezi zinyathelo ezibalulekile ezi-2 kuzokunikeza ithuba elihle lokusindisa umshado wakho. Nakhu okufanele ukwenze-
1. Zibophezele ekululekeni izithandani okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha
Ngitshela bonke abashadayo ukuthi kufanele bazibophezele lapho umshado usenkingeni enkulu, ukuthola ukwelulekwa okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha. Angikholelwa ekwelulekeni ngokwendabuko. Ngo-1996 sayeka inqubo yokwelulekwa ngemishado yendabuko, lapho ngisebenza khona bobabili indoda nomfazi ngehora elilodwa ngocingo, iSkype noma mathupha.
Ngithole kusuka ngo-1990 kwaze kwaba ngu-1996 ukuthi le ndlela akuvamile ukuthi izuzise nakancane. Ngitshele imibhangqwana yami ukuthi ingaxabana ekhaya, njengoba nje yenzile ngesikhathi seseshini nami, mahhala. Kwakuwukuchitha isikhathi nemali yabo.
Kepha uma bebezimisele ngokuzama ukuthola ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwano bufanele ukulondolozwa yini, bengizosebenza nabo ngamunye okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha.
Futhi izinyanga eziyisithupha imvamisa isikhathi esincane engisitholile kusithatha ukwelapha umshado ochithekile noma ubudlelwane. Kwesinye isikhathi kungathatha unyaka. Kepha esinyathelweni sokuqala, sibenza bazibophezele okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha zokusebenza nami ngakunye njalo ngeviki ihora. Futhi kuzoba izabelo zomsebenzi wasekhaya. Izabelo Zokubhala. Ukufundwa kwezincwadi ezithile. Uma belandela lolu hlelo, kunethuba elihle lokuthi singaqala ukuguqula umshado.
2. Khetha ukwehlukana okwesikhashana
Uma ekupheleni kwezinyanga eziyisithupha ubudlelwano busabonakala busenkingeni impela, ngincoma-ke ukuthi izithandani zehlukane. Ukuhlala ezindlini ezimbili ezihlukene. Ukwehlukaniswa kungahamba noma kuphi kusuka ezinyangeni ezintathu kuye ezinyangeni eziyisithupha, ngenkathi besasebenza nami njengomeluleki.
Kwesinye isikhathi amandla amabi akhiwe eminyakeni edlule, aba namandla kakhulu ukuzama ukusebenza ngenkathi behlala ndawonye. Omunye umbhangqwana engikwenze nawo lokhu, obufuna ukuhlukanisa umzuzu bengena ehhovisi lami, uthole ukuthi ngemuva kokwelulekwa akuzange kubasize ekulondolozeni ubudlelwano ezinyangeni eziyisithupha zokuqala, ukwahlukana kanye nokwelulekwa kube yimpendulo yemithandazo yabo.
Ngenkathi behlukanisiwe, futhi bobabili basasebenza nami masonto onke, bathole ukungabi nalutho kunciphile, intukuthelo yabo ibisiqala ukuxazululwa, intukuthelo ebivele ngaphakathi kubo bobabili, ngokwehlukana iqale yehle .
Kwakungemuva kokwehlukaniswa kwezinsuku ezingama-90 lapho bakwazi khona ukucabanga kahle, bavule izinhliziyo zabo futhi bathuthele ubudlelwano babo bangene endaweni entsha enhle.
Uma ngemuva kokulandela lezi zinyathelo ezimbili ezingenhla, ubudlelwano busesenkingeni, yilapho ngiluleka khona ukuthi badlule esahlukanisweni. Lapho abantu belandela isinyathelo sokuqala nesinyathelo sesibili ngenhla, kunamathuba amahle kakhulu okuthi singabusindisa ubudlelwano. Kepha akuqinisekisiwe ngo-100%. Okungenani uma benquma ukuhlukanisa ngalesi sikhathi, bobabili bangabheka emuva, bahambe bazi ukuthi benze konke okusemandleni abo ukusindisa umshado kanye nobudlelwano.
Uma kunezingane, ngincoma kakhulu lezi zinyathelo ezimbili ezingenhla, ngokulandela izinyathelo kuze kube sekuqedeni. Uma zingekho izingane, kwesinye isikhathi abashadikazi bazonquma ngemuva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha zokuqala noma unyaka wokwelulekwa ukuthi ubuhlobo sebukude kakhulu ukubulondoloza.
Ngandlela-thile, ngiyazi lapho izithandani zifaka lo mzamo omkhulu emsebenzini, uma zehlukanisa, ziyohamba zifunda okuningi kakhulu ngathi, ngothando nokuthi yini edingekayo ukwakha ubudlelwano obujulile nobunempilo nomshado wethu. Kunoma ikuphi, kuwufanele umzamo.
Kepha uma ungazimisele ukufaka umzamo manje, amathuba okuthi uzophinda imikhuba efanayo yokungasebenzi ebudlelwaneni bakho obusha. Yehlisa kancane ijubane. Bheka ngaphakathi. Asenzeni umsebenzi ngokubambisana