-Delile
Ingabe usemsebenzini okhulayo noma ochumayo ngoba wenza umzamo kuwo? Cabanga ngokuthi uphumelele kanjani kule ndawo yempilo yakho. Abantu abaningi abanquma ukuthi ubudlelwano bubaluleke ngokwanele ukuthi bangashada bangasho ukuthi ubudlelwane bungenye yamagugu abo abaluleke kakhulu. Uma singenzi ngokuvumelana namagugu ethu asizizwa kahle ngathi, okuyilokho okuvame ukududula imibhangqwana noma abantu ukuba babone umelaphi. Into exakayo ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi iphumelele kakhulu kwezinye izindawo zokuphila kwayo, kepha ayikaze icabange ukusebenzisa lezo zithako ezifanayo ukuze ziphumelele ebudlelwaneni bazo.
Kungani singabunaki ubudlelwano bethu?
Ezinyangeni zokuqala eziyi-18-24 zobudlelwano awudingi ukusebenzisa umzamo omkhulu. Ubudlelwano bulula ngoba ubuchopho bethu bugcwele amakhemikhali ezinzwa asenza "sithandane"; lesi sigaba sobudlelwano sibizwa ngokuthi isigaba semingcele. Kulesi sigaba sobudlelwano, ukuxhumana, isifiso, nokuzwana kungaba lula impela. Ngemuva kwalokho siba nokuzibandakanya nemishado okusigcina sindiza phezulu. Lapho nje lonke uthuli seluzinzile futhi ubuchopho bethu buguqukela ekusithekeni kwamakhemikhali okunamathisela okunamathiselwe, ngokuzumayo sizithola sesifanele sisebenze ebudlelwaneni okungenzeka ukuthi bekungadingeki sizikhandle kubo kuze kube manje. Uma lo mbhangqwana uthathe isinqumo sokuba nezingane, leli qiniso lihlasela ngokushesha futhi kanzima. Siqala ukushintshela ku-autopilot, okungasho ukuthi senza izinto ezigxilile esivele sinazo zomshado. AmaSchemas yizinhlaka zangaphakathi esizitholile esikhathini sethu esidlule ezinomthelela ekuqondeni kwethu ukuthi okuthile kusho noma kumeleni: okusho ukuthi iningi lethu liqala ukudlala uhlobo lomshado esabona abazali bethu benalo. Ngabe safunda ngokubuka abazali bethu bekhuluma noma bephathana ngendlela ethile? Ngabe sibabukele benganaki noma benza imisebenzi yamanoveli ukuvusa lowo muzwa wenkanuko futhi? Ngaphandle komshado abazali bethu abasilingisela wona, sifunda kuphi ukugcina ubudlelwane noma umshado uqinile, esikoleni, ikilasi? Kwesinye isikhathi sibona ubudlelwano ebangeni esifuna ukuba yibo, mhlawumbe ogogo nomkhulu, umshado womngani, izithandani ezikwi-TV, kepha asivamile ukubona izithako ezenza ukuthi ziphumelele. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukunganakwa, yize kuvame ukunganakwa ebudlelwaneni ngoba kungacatshangwa ukuthi kuyingozi njengokuhlukumeza, kungadala amanxeba ajulile ngokwengqondo kunezinhlobo ezithile zokuhlukumeza. Uma sizizwa singanakiwe ngokomzwelo noma ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni bethu, futhi ikakhulukazi uma sihlangabezane nokunganakwa kwabazali, lokhu kungathumela imilayezo elimaza kakhulu njengoba izidingo zethu zingenandaba, noma asinandaba. Ngoba ukuhlukumezeka kokunganakwa akubonakali, izimpawu zivame ukucashile njengokuthula noma ithimba / ukugwema- okungabonakali kakhulu ukuhlukumezeka (noma isipiliyoni esibi) sokungabi nalolo xhumo ebudlelwaneni.
Thola usizo kungakephuzi kakhulu
Imibhangqwana ivame ukuhlehlisa ukwelashwa kuze kube sekupheleni kwayo, iqandiswe ukunganakwa noma icishe yenziwa ngobudlelwano. Izikhathi eziningi akukhona ukungabi namandla noma ukufuna ukuthi ubudlelwano busebenze, kungukuthi lo mbhangqwana wawungenawo amathuluzi nolwazi lokusebenzisa ngokuzimisela umzamo nokusebenza kuwo. Kokunye bathola okulindelwe okungenangqondo (mhlawumbe ngokubuka lobo budlelwano obuhlelwe kude) ukuthi uma bethandana ngokwanele kungasebenza. Esikhundleni salokho, kucishe kufane nokuthi bengazi bebelokhu besebenzela ukuvumela ubudlelwano bube bucayi, kuyilapho umzamo uthelwa ezinganeni, emsebenzini, endlini, empilweni nasezinhlosweni zezempilo. Kodwa-ke lapho sicabanga ngemibuzo enjengokuthi, "Ufuna ukuthini ezinganeni zakho, kubazukulu bakho, noma kuwe ekugcineni kwempilo yakho ngobunye bobudlelwano obubaluleke kakhulu, obude kunabo bonke owake waba nabo?" Izinto ezingazelelwe zivele zivele futhi sizizwe sinomuzwa wokuphuthuma ukuze sisebenzele kukho, sesaba impendulo ethi, “uh kahle ngizamile, bengimatasa, kuningi ebengikwenza, besivele sikhukhuleka Ngiqagele ngaphandle. ”
Uma uwazisa umshado wakho, sebenzela kuwo. Uma ungazi ukuthi uzoqala ngaphi, cela usizo. Udinga ukuthi wazi izindinganiso zakho ebudlelwaneni, uziqaphele, futhi uhlakulele amandla nokuzimisela ukukugcina kuqinile- njengoba nje wenza ukuze uphumelele emsebenzini wakho.