-Delile
- 1. Lalelisisa bese uphendula ngendlela efanele
- 2. Gwema ukuhlanjalazwa komuntu
- 3. Qondanani
- 4. Sebenzisa ithoni efanele
- 5. Funa izincazelo
- 6. Sebenzisa ireferensi yomuntu wokuqala
- 7. Gcina ukuzola futhi ulinganise imizwa yakho
- 8. Mazise umlingani wakho
- 9. Vuma ithonya loshade naye
Umehluko phakathi komshado ojabulayo nowenenjabulo usekhonweni lokukhulumisana.
Amakhono okuxhumana anempilo emibhangqwaneni angenye yezinto ezibalulekile emshadweni ophumelelayo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana phakathi kwemibhangqwana kungaholela ekuphathaneni kokuthula, intukuthelo, intukuthelo nentukuthelo.
Lapho nje lokhu kumcindezele kakhulu umlingani, kuba nemiphumela emibi ekuziphatheni okweqile kanye nokwehluleka ukugcina izinto eziyisisekelo zokuxhumana ekuxazululeni izingxabano.
Abeluleki bezemishado beluleka abalingani ukuthi babelane ngokusobala ngemizwa yabo emibi nengalungile ukugcina ukuthula emshadweni.
Amakhono amahle wokuxhumana asebenzisanayo afaka phakathi ukulalela, ukuphendula, ukuchaza, ukuqonda ngezwi elipholile endaweni nangendlela efanele.
Ungalokothi usebenzise inkinga yokuxazulula inkinga ngemizwa, njengoba ingqondo yakho engazinzile ingakuncenga ukuba umemeze futhi umemeze. Kepha ukukhulisa amakhono akho okukhulumisana emshadweni noma amakhono okuxhumana abashadikazi kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza.
Buka futhi:
Kusukela ekuncintisaneni, ukugxeka, ukuvimba ngamatshe, kanye nokungaxoleli, ukuthola ukuxhumana okusebenzayo kwemibhangqwana, kufanele ugweme izingibe eziningi.
Ngakho-ke ukukusiza ukuthi uthole amakhono ayisisekelo wokuxhumana emibhangqwaneni noma ufunde izindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana zemibhangqwana, nazi izeluleko ezimbalwa zemibhangqwana zokuthuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana afanele emshadweni:
1. Lalelisisa bese uphendula ngendlela efanele
Ukuxhumana okulungile kudinga ukubamba iqhaza okuphelele kwezinhlangothi zombili.
Enye yezeluleko ezibalulekile zokuxhumana zemibhangqwana kuzoba ukuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi akhulume njengawe lalelisisa kuzo zonke izikhalazo, ukwazisa, nokukhathazeka.
Ungahle ungavumelani nazo zonke izingqinamba, kodwa zwelana nomsindo noma isitatimende esinjengokuthi “Ngiyakuzwa ukudumala kwakho ngesenzo sami, kodwa ngabe uyabona ukuthi .......”
Akuyona indlela yokuzivikela; kunikeza umlingani wakho isiqiniseko sokuthi uyakunaka ukukhathazeka kwabo, kepha futhi unombono wakho noma umbono wakho.
Uheha ukunakwa kwabo ngengxoxo evulekile ukudweba isisombululo esiphelele.
2. Gwema ukuhlanjalazwa komuntu
Gwema noma yiluphi uhlobo lokugxekwa komuntu siqu ngokusebenzisa inhlamba, ukukhuluma komzimba okungafanele, ukumemeza nokumemeza.
Ungahle ube nephuzu, kepha indlela oxhumana ngayo inomthelela endleleni umlingani wakho aluthatha ngayo ulwazi.
PUkuhlanjalazwa nge-ersonal kukhuthaza umlingani wakho ukuthi athathe isu lokuzivikela elivimbela inqubo yakho yokuxhumana.
Imvamisa, ihlazo lomuntu siqu lisebenza njengesikhuthazi esiholela ezingxabanweni ezishubile phakathi kwabalingani.
Udinga ukuqondisa ukukhuluma komzimba wakho, isimo sobuso, nezwi lakho kahle ukuze ugweme ukunikeza iziphakamiso ezingalungile kumlingani wakho.
Leli elinye lamakhono aphambili okuxhumana imibhangqwana engawathuthukisa uma ifuna izingxoxo ezinokuthula njalo.
3. Qondanani
Funa umlingani wakho akulalele ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zincoma ukwazisa kuqala ngenhloso yokushayela iphuzu ekhaya.
Uzakwethu uzozizwa ehlonishwa naphezu kobuthakathaka bakhe. Ngokwemvelo, amandla obudlelwano avame ukusebenza kangcono uma uzibeka ezicathulweni zomlingani wakho njengoba ufuna ukunakwa ngenqubo yokuxhumana ethelayo.
4. Sebenzisa ithoni efanele
Ingabe nonke nizinzile ngokomzwelo lapho ningena engxoxweni? Ingxabano ephathelene nodaba olubucayi ingaphenduka inhlekelele kuphela ngoba wehlulekile ukusebenzisa ithoni elifanele.
Imibhangqwana ekhulumisana nokuvuthwa isebenzisa ithoni efanele ekhonjiswe ngengqondo ezinzile ukubhekana nalesi simo.
Ungalokothi uthole ukunakwa koshade naye ngentukuthelo; nakanjani uzokhulisa izwi lakho eliholele ekucimeni okuphelele kwesiteshi sokuxhumana.
Ithoni ephumelelayo ikunikeza isipho sokuthobeka nenhlonipho, eqondisa ukukhetha kwakho amagama futhi iqhubeke ithoba umlingani wakho ukuthi ahlanganyele engxoxweni ngokuthobeka.
5. Funa izincazelo
Elinye ikhono lokuxhumana lemibhangqwana elizijwayeza ukubuza imibuzo yokuthola iqiniso noma ukufuna izincazelo kozakwethu. Leli khono lenza imibhangqwana iqondane kangcono kunokucabanga.
Nobabili nibhekene nokulawulwa kwengxoxo. Ukusetshenziswa kwemibuzo evulekile kunemibuzo evaliwe kunika umlingani wakho isikhala sokwabelana ngokuqonda nemicabango ngesimo.
Imibuzo evaliwe isetshenziswa kaningi ngesikhathi sokuphenywa ngamaphoyisa hhayi ukukhulumisana okuvulekile okuthela izithelo.
6. Sebenzisa ireferensi yomuntu wokuqala
Njengoba ufuna izimpendulo, yiba yingxenye yombuzo, Isibonelo, lapho ufuna ukuba nengxoxo evulekile ngomlingani wakho ngokugwema ukuthunyelwa kwabo:
“Nginomuzwa wokuthi uyayibalekela imithwalo yakho yemfanelo ngoba angikunaki ngokwanele.”
Manje, lesi kungenzeka ukuthi asisona isimo, kepha iqiniso lokuthi uyavuma ukuba yingxenye yenkinga noma ngabe awuyena, linikeza oshade naye inselelo yokuba nesakhe futhi asamukele isimo njengesibopho esihlangene.
7. Gcina ukuzola futhi ulinganise imizwa yakho
Isu elifanele lokuxhumana lemibhangqwana ukuthi hlisa umoya sonke isikhathi ukhuluma nomlingani wakho noma ngabe uyabona ukuthi impikiswano iya iba buhlungu kakhulu phakathi nengxoxo.
Ukuzola kukunikeza ukuzithiba ukuze uthole ukuqonda okujule kakhulu kwesimo futhi, ngasikhathi sinye, kusiza umlingani wakho ukuthi akhiphe imizwa ebuhlungu futhi aqhubekele phambili esixazululweni.
Isikhathi esihle sokukhulumisana kulapho usupholile khona, futhi nguwe olawula imizwa yakho.
8. Mazise umlingani wakho
Ukuxhumana, okugcwele ukusolwa nemicabango engemihle, akunakuze kube nezithelo. Uzakwenu kufanele abe nezimpawu ezinhle. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ungakhetha isehlukaniso kunokuxhumana, ubonge lezo zimfanelo.
Wonke umuntu udinga ukubongwa nokunconywa okuhle ukuthambisa inhliziyo ibe qotho futhi ivulekele- ipharamitha yokuxhumana ngempumelelo.
9. Vuma ithonya loshade naye
Umkhuba wokuxhumana ngobudlelwano obubi kulapho omunye ophathina ephethe noma ephethe omunye.
Sebenzani ndawonye ukunciphisa ubuhlobo benu emasikweni anjalo futhi ningavumeli lokhu kuphazamise inqubo yenu yokuxhumana enokuthula.
Njengoba ufuna ukuba namakhono amahle okukhulumisana nowakwakho, bhekisisa imvelo, ukuzinza ngokomzwelo, nokuzimisela kwakho ukuvula inkulumo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, umlingani wakho kufanele abe nolwazi lwangaphambili ngesizathu somhlangano. Gwema ukushiwo nganoma yikuphi okuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule.
Amakhono okuxhumana emibhangqwaneni nakanjani angesinye sezahluko ezibalulekile zempilo okumele ukuthi umlingani ngamunye azibambe ngekhanda uma sebethi ‘ngenza njalo’ komunye nomunye.