-Delile
- 1. Ukungenzi isikhathi socansi
- 2. Ukwabelana ngombhede wakho
- 3. Akukho mzamo owenziwe empilweni yezocansi
- 4. Ukungakhululeki ukuxhumana
- 5. Unovalo kakhulu ukuqala
- 6. Hhayi ukuzethemba komzimba
- 7. Ukugodla ucansi
- 8. Indaba yangaphambilini
- 9. Umshado ongenalo ucansi
Ukukhungatheka ngokobulili noma ukungahambisani noshade naye kuyinkinga enkulu abelaphi abaningi bemishado ababhekana nayo ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa kwezithandani. Izinkinga zokusondelana ngokomzimba zenzeka ngezizathu eziningi njengokucindezeleka, ubudala, nokuguquka kwesimo, njengokuthola umntwana omusha. Ngaphandle kwezinzuzo zomzimba, ukuba nempilo eyanelisayo yocansi nomlingani wakho kuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo.
Akumangalisi-ke ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi enezinkinga ezingokomzimba iba nokwaneliseka kobuhlobo obuncane futhi ijwayele ukuqhela komunye nomunye. Leli iqiniso elidabukisayo elingalungiswa kalula lapho bobabili abalingani bezama ukwenza isikhathi socansi nokulalelana izidingo zomunye nomunye.
Nazi izindaba ezi-9 zokusondelana ngokomzimba ezingathinta umshado wakho:
1. Ukungenzi isikhathi socansi
Amashejuli amatasa nokukhathala okuphelele kungahle kuphazamise ukufeza izifiso zakho zocansi njengabantu abashadile. Ukungazenzi isikhathi sokuya ocansini ngesinye sezikhalazo ezinkulu ngesikhathi sokululekwa ngocansi. Iphuzu eliyinhloko yilokhu: uma uthanda okuthile, uzozenzela isikhathi sakho. Ngabe uvivinya umzimba noma udlala imidlalo kaningana ngesonto, kodwa ungasenzi isikhathi sokuya ocansini?
2. Ukwabelana ngombhede wakho
Ingabe uhlala embhedeni wakho nezingane zakho noma mhlawumbe nezilwane ezifuywayo? Akuvamile ukuthi izingane zigudle embhedeni nabazali bazo nge-TV yasebusuku kakhulu noma ngemuva kwephupho elibi.
Ungase uzizwe kuyisibopho sakho njengomzali ukuvumela ingane yakho ingene embhedeni wakho uma yesaba noma lapho ifuna ukuchitha isikhathi nawe, kodwa zama ukungakwenzi umkhuba lokho. Ukwabelana ngombhede wakho nothile ngaphandle koshade naye kungenza ukusondelana kube lula. Lapho izingane noma izilwane ezifuywayo zisesikhala sakho unethuba elincane lokugonana, niphathaphathane, noma nenze uthando lasebusuku.
3. Akukho mzamo owenziwe empilweni yezocansi
Ukuthola leyo nqubo ephelele, embhedeni uzizwa ungumlingo lapho uqala ubudlelwano bakho bezocansi. Yileso sikhathi lapho zonke izinyathelo zakho zehlela phansi ngokuphelele.
Wazi kahle ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ukujabulisa umlingani wakho, ngakho-ke uyakwenza njalo. Lokhu kuhle, ekuqaleni. Kepha ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa yokwenza inqubo efanayo yezocansi, kungaqala ukuswela inhlansi noma umdlandla. Imibhangqwana eminingi iba nezinkinga zobudlelwano bomzimba lapho iyeka ukufaka umzamo empilweni yayo yezocansi ngokuzama izinto ezintsha noma ngokuzama ukuhehana.
4. Ukungakhululeki ukuxhumana
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo cishe kuzo zonke izici zobudlelwano bakho, kufaka phakathi impilo yakho yezocansi. Uma ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho, bazokwazi kanjani izindlela ezinhle zokukujabulisa? Imibhangqwana idinga ukukwazi ukuxoxa ngezidingo zayo, izidingo zayo, namaphupho abo.
Tshela umlingani wakho zonke izinto ozithandayo abazenzayo, nokuthi yini abangahle bayenze ngaphezulu noma kancane phakathi kwamashidi. Uma ungazisho izifiso zakho zocansi, impilo yakho yezocansi iyozizwa ingagculisi. Lezi zinkinga zokusondelana ngokomzimba zingaholela ekungathandekeni okujwayelekile ukuya ocansini nomlingani wakho noma kungaholela ekuthandaneni.
5. Unovalo kakhulu ukuqala
Imibhangqwana eminingi iziphonse ezinhlakeni ezithile ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Isibonelo, indoda ingaphonswa "njengomqalisi", ishiye unkosikazi engaqiniseki ukuthi uzokhuluma kanjani ngesifiso sakhe socansi. Eminye imibhangqwana ingahle ingazinaki izimpawu zomlingani wayo. Abanye basengaba novalo kakhulu ukuba baqale ukwesaba ukwaliwa.
6. Hhayi ukuzethemba komzimba
Izinkinga zokusondelana ngokomzimba zingavela ngenxa yokungazethembi.
Abesifazane, ikakhulukazi, bakhonjiswa kaninginingi ngemidiya, izikhangiso, nakumabhayisikobho abantu abadala ukuthi abesifazane kufanele babe ngosayizi noma umumo othile ukuze batholakale bekhanga. Bangase futhi bezwe amabele abo, isisu, nezinye izindawo zomzimba wabo kuhloselwe ukubukeka ngendlela ethile. Lokhu kungabenza bazizwe benqikaza, benamahloni noma bengakhululeki ukuzibandakanya ocansini, noma ngabe bayamthanda futhi bayamethemba umlingani wabo.
Ukungazethembi ekamelweni lokulala akuyona inkinga yabesifazane kuphela. Amadoda amaningi akhathazeka ngosayizi kanye nokusoka nokuthi abalingani babo bangacabangani ngomzimba wabo.
7. Ukugodla ucansi
Eminye imibhangqwana, nabesifazane ikakhulukazi basebenzisa ucansi njengesikhali noma njengomvuzo. Oshade naye angagodla ukunqoba izimpikiswano noma ajezise umlingani wakhe. Omunye angahle asebenzise ucansi njengoba ungasebenzisa ukuphatha ukuphatha inja. Zombili lezi zimilo zingamaqhinga anobuthi adala umbono osontekile wokuthi yini okufanele ibe isenzo sothando.
8. Indaba yangaphambilini
Ukubhekana nokuthandana kungenye yezinto ezimbi kakhulu ongadlula kuzo ebudlelwaneni. Ayithumeli nje kuphela, imvamisa zombili izinhlangothi, ekuxakekeni okungokomzwelo, kepha futhi kungalimaza impilo yakho yezocansi. Ucansi luba nzima ngemuva kokuqomisana.
Umcabango wokuya ocansini noshade naye ngemuva kokuqomisana ungabonakala ungabekezeleleki. Iqembu elilimele lingazibuza ukuthi bafaniswa kanjani nalo "omunye" umuntu. Kungase kube nentukuthelo ebambekayo evela kubo bobabili abashadile ngemuva kwendaba engabenzi bazizwe beheheka kakhulu noma bethandana.
9. Umshado ongenalo ucansi
USolwazi wezokuhlalisana kwabantu eGeorgia State University uDenise A. Donnelly wenze ucwaningo ngomshado ongacwasi ocansini futhi wathola ukuthi u-15% wabantu abashadile abakaze baye ocansini ezinyangeni ezi-6 kuya ku-12 ezedlule.
Ukuya ocansini njalo kukwenza uzizwe ujabulile, uvikelekile futhi uthandana kakhulu nomlingani wakho. Kukubopha ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo futhi kuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho.
Lapho ucansi lungekho emshadweni lungadala ukuthi abalingani bazizwe becasukile, bengazethembi futhi benganakwa. Ukuba semshadweni ongenacansi kungenye yezizathu ezinkulu zokuthi kungani abantu befuna ukuthandana nabantu abangaphandle komshado.
Izinkinga zokusondelana ngokomzimba zithinta umshado wakho ngezindlela eziningi. Ngokugodla ucansi, ungenzi isikhathi sezikhathi ezisondelene, futhi ungakwazi ukukhuluma ngempilo yakho yezocansi nomlingani wakho, uzibekela ukwehluleka ekamelweni. Zijwayeze ukuvuleka futhi uthembeke mayelana nezidingo zakho nezidingo zakho zokubuyisa ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba koshade naye.