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-Delile
Yonke imibhangqwana emisha noma emide inemibuzo yezeluleko zobudlelwano engathanda ukuyibuza uchwepheshe. Futhi, ngeshwa, bakwenza lokho uma sekwephuze kakhulu ukuxazulula izinkinga ebezingasombululeka kalula ukube nje bakhulume phambilini. Udokotela wezengqondo uvame ukubona amaklayenti afaka umbuzo othile njengokuthi: “Ngiyazi ukuthi sekwephuze kakhulu manje, kodwa ngifuna ukwazi ukuthi konakelephi”. Ukuzivikela ekubeni kulesi sikhundla, funda eminye imibuzo ejwayelekile nezimpendulo zengqondo yezithandani ezizwa ekwenzeni kwazo.
Ngingakugwema kanjani ukulwa?
Impendulo emfushane ithi - awunayo. Elide empeleni libaluleke kakhulu, futhi yonke imibhangqwana kufanele ilicabangisise ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Yebo, ukulwa akunakugwenywa. Futhi, njengoba sizobona emzuzwini, nawo akufanele agwenywe. Kepha, kunezindlela ezinhle nezimbi zokuphikisana. Enye kuzoholela ekuqondeni okujulile nothando, kanti enye ekuqedeni phansi kobudlelwano.
Ukulwa kuyinto engemnandi neze futhi ecasulayo. Uba nesizungu futhi wesabe ngokuthi lokho kusho ukuthini ebudlelwaneni bakho. Abantu abaningi bavame ukwesaba ukuthi uma belwa lokho kusho ukuthi ubudlelwane babo abusebenzi. Kepha, uma kwenziwe kahle, izimpikiswano ebudlelwaneni ziyinto enhle. Uma zingadluli ngokweqile, zivame kakhulu, zinolaka, noma zinobuthi beqiniso (futhi zingaba njalo). Ngoba ukungangeni engxabanweni uma ningavumelani ngokuthile, futhi ungakhulumi ngakho ngokuqiniseka, empeleni kusho ukuthi kukhona udonga oluphakeme phakathi kwenu nobabili.
Manje, ungasenzi iphutha, asisabalalisi izingxabano ebudlelwaneni. Simane sikhomba ukuthi akufanele uhumushe konke ukungaboni ngaso linye njengophawu. Uma ufunda ukungavumelani ngokuqiniseka, impi ingakusiza ukuthi usondele kumlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, uma ningavumelani ngodaba oluthile, zama lokhu. Veza imizwa yakho ngayo (ungasoli icala, imizwa yakho kuphela), chaza ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha komlingani wakho okudalile (futhi, ungasoli), phakamisa isisombululo, bese ucela umbono womlingani wakho ngesixazululo.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze uma umlingani wami ephinga?
Lo ngumbuzo wezeluleko zobudlelwano ojwayelekile, futhi onzima ngokulinganayo ongawuphendula. Akunampendulo yendawo yonke odabeni olunzima kangako. Futhi, ekugcineni, noma ngabe zingaki izikhathi ezibekelwe lolu daba, kulele kwabashadayo ukuthi banqume ukuthi bangaqhubekela phambili noma cha. Kepha, okungathathwa njengesixwayiso sobudlelwano somhlaba wonke ukuthi - udinga ukuqiniseka ukuthi uyafuna futhi ungakunqoba yini ukuphinga.
Lokhu kunzima ngokulinganayo kumlingani okhohlisiwe ukunquma. Cishe bazozithola befuna into eyodwa ngasikhathi sinye, futhi baphikisane ngokulandelayo. Futhi lokhu kujwayelekile impela, ikakhulukazi emahoreni nasezinsukwini (kwesinye isikhathi izinyanga) ngemuva kokukhashelwa. Kungakho-ke, uma ukuphinga kwenzeka kuwe, kufanele usinikeze isikhathi sokuthi wehlise umoya ngaphambi kokwenza izinqumo ezinkulu.
Kepha, lapho usuzinzile, futhi uma uthatha isinqumo sokuzama ukusebenzelana nobudlelwano bakho, qala ngokulungiselela umgwaqo omude futhi onzima ongaphambili. Lokho i-Psychotherapist ezokutshela khona ukuthi udinga kakhulu ukwesekwa nokuqondwa ngumlingani wakho okwamanje. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzodinga ukuthola izizathu zokuthi kungani umlingani wakho ebengathembekanga kwasekuqaleni. Ngemuva kwalokho, kuzodingeka uqonde ukuthi amandla akho angahle abe nomthelela kanjani enkingeni. Futhi, ekugcineni, uzodinga ukuxolela. Lokhu akusho ukukucabanga kulungile, kepha ukuxolela ubuthakathaka noma ubugovu.
Kungani singezwani?
Lo mhlawumbe ngumbuzo onzima kakhulu ukuxazululwa kunowedlule. Kungaba nezinkulungwane zezizathu ezizwakalayo umbhangqwana obonakala ungazwani. Kepha, akufanele badikibale. Kuyadingeka ukungena ezimpandeni zento engadala izinkinga ebudlelwaneni uma kufanele iphile futhi ichume.
Kungaba yinto ekha phezulu, njengezinkinga zokuxhumana "nje". Lokhu kuxazululeka kalula ngamasu ambalwa alula kepha abalulekile wokuxhumana okuhle. Olunye udaba olungaba khona ngamanani empilo ahlukile. Lokhu kunzima kakhulu, kepha futhi kungabhekwana nakho uma kukhona intando yokuyekethisa futhi uhloniphe imibono yezwe ehlukile yomlingani. Ekugcineni, ophathina bangahluka kubalingiswa babo kanye nesimo sabo, okungahle kudale ukungezwani okuqhubekayo ebudlelwaneni. Le nkinga inzima kakhulu ukuyinqoba, kepha uma ugxila othandweni lwakho ngomlingani wakho, kufanele ukwazi ukuthola indlela yokuxazulula ukungafani kwenu.