-Delile
- Kuyini ukuhlukunyezwa?
- Ngazi kanjani ukuthi ukuhlukumeza hhayi nje imizabalazo ejwayelekile?
- Ezinye izinto okufanele uzicabangele
- Yini ongayenza?
Ukukhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukunyezwa ngaphakathi kwezibopho ezingcwele zomshado, kunzima. Isimo ngasinye, umuntu nobudlelwano buhlukile ngezindlela eziningi. Ngokuvamile kunzima ukuqhathanisa ukuziphatha nezenzo zabantu ebuhlotsheni obubodwa nakwezinye. Kodwa-ke, kunezici ezithile ezijwayelekile ezingasiza ekuboneni ukuhlukunyezwa ebudlelwaneni bezothando.
Ukwengezwa komshado kungenza ukusondela esihlokweni sokufinyelela kude kube nzima kakhulu. Umshado uyisivumelwano esisemthethweni nesibophayo futhi kaningi wenza kubonakale kunzima kakhulu ukwamukela ukuhlukunyezwa kanye nemiphumela yako. Okunzima kakhulu ukuthi umbono wokushiya ubudlelwano ngokuphelele. Lo mbhalo uzokusiza uphendule imibuzo efana nokuthi “ingabe umyeni wami uyahlukumeza?” nokuthi "uma nginomyeni onodlame yini okufanele ngiyenze?".
Kuyini ukuhlukunyezwa?
Incazelo elula yokuhlukumeza yinoma ikuphi ukuziphatha noma isenzo esinonya, esinodlame noma esenziwa ngenhloso yokulimaza umuntu. Kodwa-ke, ngaphandle kwencazelo elula, ukuqonda nokuhlonza ukuhlukunyezwa kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Imvamisa, izimpawu zifihlakele emehlweni obala ukuthi labo asebeke babhekana nezenzo zokuhlukunyezwa isikhathi eside baqala ukuzibona njengengxenye yempilo ejwayelekile. Amaphesenti angama-50 emibhangqwana ebudlelwaneni izothola okungenani isigameko esisodwa esinodlame noma esinolaka phakathi nalobo budlelwano.
Cishe ikota ye- labo imibhangqwana izobhekana nodlame njengengxenye ejwayelekile ebudlelwaneni babo. Ubungozi bokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo nodlame lwasekhaya kuncike ezicini ezahlukahlukene kepha kunento eyodwa eqinisekile: ukuhlukunyezwa ebudlelwaneni nasemishadweni akugcini kunoma yiluphi uhlanga, ubulili, noma iqembu lobudala. Noma ngubani othandana naye angaba yisisulu.
Ukuhlukumeza kuhlukaniswa ngezigaba ezine ezihlukene: ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, ngamazwi nangokomzimba. Kukhona ezinye izinhlobo ezimbalwa, kufaka phakathi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi nokunganakwa, kepha lokhu kuthathwa njengama-subtypes ajwayelekile.
Izici zokukhomba, noma kunjalo, zenza kube nzima ukuhlukanisa ngokusobala uhlobo ngalunye lokuhlukumeza.
Njengoba uhlobo ngalunye lwabelana ngezici eziningi ezifanayo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuba khona kohlobo olulodwa kungakhombisa ubukhona bezinhlobo ezingeziwe. Isibonelo, umuntu ohlukunyezwa ngohlobo lwezenzo zokuphoqelelwa ngokocansi noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi kungenzeka ukuthi uyahlukunyezwa futhi akhulunyelwe phansi naye.
Ngazi kanjani ukuthi ukuhlukumeza hhayi nje imizabalazo ejwayelekile?
Abesifazane abahlukunyezwa ngabalingani babo noma abalingani babo bahlangabezana nokuziphatha okufana ncamashi, labo ngokuvamile bangaphanjaniswa njengengxenye "ejwayelekile" yokukhula ebudlelwaneni. Bavame ukuqamba amanga noma bakhohlise umndeni nabangane ukuze bavikele umhlukumezi. Ukuxhumana phakathi kowesifazane nomyeni wakhe omhlukumezayo esidlangalaleni noma nomndeni / nabangane kuvame ukuba kubi; wayengabekwa phansi njalo, agxekwe, asongelwe noma ahlazeke ngenhloso yokumlimaza emoyeni. Lezi ngezinye zezimpawu zomyeni ezihlukumezayo.
Indoda ehlukumezayo ivikela ngokweqile kuze kufike ezingeni lokungena. Kumele azi lapho umkakhe ehlala khona ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi angaqinisa imithetho eqinile nemikhawulo mayelana nesikhathi asichitha engekho ekhaya nokuthi lesi sikhathi sichithwa nobani. ‘Kungani uchitha isikhathi esiningi kangaka nomuntu X’, ‘umngani wakho ukugqugquzela ukuthi ubhidlize ubudlelwano bethu, ngeke ukhulume naye’ - lezi ngezinye zezinto ezishiwo yindoda ehlukumezayo.
Ngokwengeziwe, abesifazane abahlukunyezwayo banokuzethemba okuphansi okuya ngokuya kuba kubi; abaningi bazoqala ukukholwa izinto ezinyantisayo abahlukumezi babo abazishoyo ngabo.
Yize ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha ezimbi zizobakhona ngasikhathi sinye ebuhlotsheni obuningi noma emishadweni, kubalulekile ukukwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokungasebenzi kahle nokuhlukumeza. Ukungasebenzi kahle kwenzeka lapho amandla okuxhumana phakathi kozakwethu enqunyelwe noma elimele. Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, okungenani uhhafu wabo bonke abashadikazi bazohlangabezana nesigameko esisodwa esinodlame empilweni yobudlelwano babo.
Lokhu kuyakwenza hhayi kusho ukuthi isimilo sijwayelekile noma senziwa njalo. Ngokuvamile lezi zinhlobo zezehlakalo ziyaqashelwa ngokushesha bese kuba nesikhathi sokubuyisana nokuxolelana.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Zomfazi Ohlukumezayo nokuthi Ungabhekana Kanjani Nazo
Ezinye izinto okufanele uzicabangele
Uma umuntu wesifazane ehlukunyezwa, impendulo evame kakhulu evela kwababukele ithi, “Kufanele amshiye!” Lokhu, nokho, akubhekiseli kuzizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani owesifazane angakhetha ukuhlala nendoda enodlame. Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, owesifazane uvame ukuthanda umhlukumezi wakhe, yize eziphatha ngendlela enobudlova, futhi ekholwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi uyakwazi ukushintsha.
Ezinye izizathu kungaba ukwesaba kwakhe okungenzeka uma engakhetha ukuhamba, ukungabi nokuzimela kwezezimali, amahloni, ukwesaba ukungabi nakhaya, noma ukuba nezingane nomhlukumezi wakhe.
Kunzima ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane abahlukunyezwa ngabayeni; indoda abashade nayo kufanele ibe ngumvikeli othembekile, osekelayo, hhayi lowo olimazayo.
Yini ongayenza?
Ngakho-ke yini ongayenza uma wena noma umuntu omthandayo ehlangabezana nomshado onje? Elinye lamakhono amakhulu ongawasebenzisa yikhono lokulalela futhi uvumele owesifazane abelane ngenhliziyo yakhe. Kungenzeka ukuthi ucela ngaphakathi ukuthi kube khona ozobuza impilo. Kungenzeka ukuthi ukulungele ukuchitha indaba yakhe kumuntu amethembayo. Futhi angahle angakulungeli ukukhuluma kepha ufuna umuntu ozimisele ukulalela.
Yaziswa ngalokho angakhetha kukho emphakathini wakhe; Siza ukumba okuthile ukuthola izinsiza zendawo uma ehlala kwelinye idolobha noma isifundazwe. Zimisele ukwenza elinye ibanga - uma ebuza - kepha shiya isinqumo esenziwe kuye. Uma efuna ukuphuma emshadweni wakhe ungamsiza ekuhlukaniseni umyeni ohlukumezayo. Ukushiya umlingani okuhlukumezayo kungaba yinselele impela.
Ungamsiza ukuthi axhumane nomeluleki ongaphendula imibuzo efana nokuthi ‘ungamshiya kanjani umyeni okuhlukumezayo’ noma ‘ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nendoda ehlukumezayo’ njalonjalo.
Indawo yokuhlala, imigqa yezinkinga, ummeli wezomthetho, izinhlelo zokufinyelela kubantu, kanye nezinhlangano zomphakathi zineminyango evulekele labo abaswele; qiniseka ukumvumela akhethe esikhundleni sokumenzela izinqumo. Okubaluleke kakhulu, yiba osekelayo. Owesifazane ohlukunyezwa ngumyeni wakhe akanalo iphutha ngezenzo zakhe; uyisisulu sezinqumo zomunye umuntu.