-Delile
Kukangaki wena nomlingani wakho nixoxa futhi nobabili nizizwa sengathi anizwakali? Ukuxhumana kubaluleke kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngokuzizwa nokuzwakala ..... kepha sifika kanjani endaweni lapho ukuzizwa nokuzwakala kuyinto eza kuqala? Kungokulalela. Ukuba yisilaleli esihle kuthatha isikhathi, kuthatha ukuzijwayeza, futhi kudinga ukuzimisela ukwenza kanjalo.
Ukulalela kuyingxenye yezokuxhumana, kuyasiza ekwakheni ukusondelana, futhi kuyindlela yokwazisa oshade naye ukuthi babalulekile futhi bayaziswa.
Ukwakha uthando, ukwethembana nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho, kufanele ukhombise ikhono lokulalelisisa oshade naye.
Ukulalela kuphindwe kabili, ukuzwa okushiwo ngoshade naye nokubuza imibuzo ukuthola ukucaciseleka, ukuthola ukuqonda, ukuba nelukuluku, nokukhombisa intshisekelo engxoxweni.
Ukusiza oshade naye azizwe esekelwa, eqondwa, futhi ezwiwa ebudlelwaneni kuyizindlela zokwakha ukusondelana, kanye nekhono lokuzwelana, ukukhombisa ukuqonda, nokuqonda lokho okushiwo ngoshade naye.
"Ukusondelana kungukuxhumana lapho abalingani bezwa imizwa emihle ngabo nangabalingani babo futhi ukuxhumana kukhombisa ukuqonda komunye nomunye", (Prager, 1995).
Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana nowesilisa noma owesifazane
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukusondelana kudalwa ngale kwegumbi lokulala, futhi kudalwa lapho imibhangqwana ihlanganyela engxoxweni, lapho ihlangana khona ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Kungaphezu kwesenzo somzimba, yikhono lokuzibandakanya ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo noshade naye, ngaphandle kokuthintwa ngokomzimba.
Ukulalela kuyingxenye yendlela yokwakha ukusondelana emshadweni, ukusondelana kungibona kimi futhi kufanele ubandakanyeke ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo noshade naye ukuze kwenzeke ukusondelana kwangempela.
Ngakho-ke, uma ucabanga ngekhono lokulalela, sekuya ngokuvumelana noshade naye, kukususa ingqondo yakho kukho konke okunye bese ugxila koshade naye. Uma wenza lokhu, ubeka ithoni ebuhlotsheni obuthi, akukho okunye okubalulekile, unginaka ngokuphelele, ubalulekile, futhi okubalulekile njengamanje ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi uthini.
Nazi izivivinyo zokwakha ukusondelana eziyi-10 ngokulalela okufanele ukulandela:
- Yabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yakho komunye nomunye futhi uqinisekise imizwa yomunye nomunye.
- Phendulanani ngendlela ezonenza nobabili nizizwe kahle.
- Lalela ngenhliziyo nengqondo evulekile.
- Susa zonke iziphazamiso ezizokugcina ungalaleli ngokucophelela.
- Dlulisa uzwela nokuqonda.
- Buza imibuzo ecacisa futhi evulekile.
- Musa ukuzivikela, ukugxeka noma ukwahlulela.
- Zama ukubona isimo ngombono womngane wakho womshado.
- Dedela i-ajenda yakho nokuthi ucabanga ukuthi uzothini umlingani wakho.
- Ungenzi ingxoxo ngawe futhi ungazami ukulungisa inkinga.
Ukwakha ukusondelana ngokulalela kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi kukhombisa ukuthi umazisa kangakanani oshade naye, kanye nobudlelwano, futhi kumayelana nokufeza isidingo, nokuphendula izidingo zoshade naye.