-Delile
- 1. Akuyona indlela elula
- 2. The Three A's (uthando, ukwazisa, ukunakwa)
- 3. Gcina izincwadi zakho zivulekile
- 4. Khulumisanani
- 5. Ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo
- 6. Ukubeka imithetho ethile
- 7. Funa usizo
- 8. Qala kabusha ebudlelwaneni bakho bezocansi
“Ukukopela nokuqamba amanga akuyona inkinga, kuyizizathu zokuhlukana. ” - UPatti Callahan Henry
Lesi sicaphuna sichaza ukuthi kuba nzima kanjani kumuntu uma kukhulunywa ngokuthuthukisa ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki.
Akukaze kube umbono olungile, kwasekuqaleni, ukukopela kumuntu okuthanda ngokweqiniso.
Uma ubanjwa ukopela, omunye wakho obalulekile unelungelo lokuqeda ubudlelwano ngaleso sikhathi. Ukwethemba, okuyinto ebalulekile ebudlelwaneni, kuyanyakaziswa.
Akulula neze ukwakha umbuso kuleso sikhala esingalingani. Noma kunjalo, uma ufuna ngokuzithandela izindlela zokuthi ungakwakha kanjani kabusha ukwethembana ngemuva kokukopela, lapho-ke singajabula ukukusiza.
Ake sibheke ezinye izindlela namathiphu ungawusindisa kanjani umshado ngemuva kokungathembeki namanga futhi ungamthemba kanjani umuntu futhi ngemuva kokukopela. Mhlawumbe, lokhu kuzonisiza ukuthi nigcine ubudlelwano benu futhi nenze izinto zibe ngcono phakathi kwenu nobabili.
1. Akuyona indlela elula
Into yokuqala okufanele uyiqonde mayelana nokuthi ungaqhubekela kanjani phambili ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokukopela ukuthi akukaze kube lula ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki. Nobabili kufanele nisebenze kanzima. Umane nje awukwazi ukubeka izinto ehlombe lomuntu futhi uzivumele zithathe ulaka lwephutha.
Ngakho-ke, ukuzimisela kokuhlanganisa ubudlelwane kufanele buvele kini nobabili. Vele, kuzoba nezikhathi ezinzima nokungabaza okukhulu, kepha kufanele uqonde umsuka walokhu kungabaza qonda ukungathembeki.
Ngesikhathi sokuqala, ngemuva kokubanjwa, nobabili nizoba nenkinga enkulu. Lokho kungokwemvelo futhi kulindelekile. Kepha ukuze ube nobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo ngemuva kokukopela kufanele uqiniseke ngalokho okufunayo futhi uqhubeke nokunyakaza.
2. The Three A's (uthando, ukwazisa, ukunakwa)
Imvamisa, lapho sikhuluma ngokungathembeki futhi ubuhlobo bungasindiswa ngemuva kokukopela, uthando nothando phakathi kwalaba bobabili luyavivinywa.
Ukukopela noma ukuthandana kwenzeka lapho uthando, ukwazisa, nokunakwa komunye wabalingani kungaphansi kokunye kwabo okubalulekile. Ngakho-ke, ukwenza ngcono ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki, zama ukugxila kothando, ukwazisa, nokunaka kumlingani wakho.
Yenza izenzo zakho zibalwe ngokubatshela futhi ubenzele izinto. Ungaqhubeki nokucabanga, 'bazoqonda' noma 'kufanele baqonde.'
3. Gcina izincwadi zakho zivulekile
Ukwakha ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki, kufanele nivulelane izifuba. Ukufihla izinto ngeke neze kube ngumqondo omuhle wokuthuthukisa ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki. Kufanele ufunde ukwenza izinto obala futhi ugcine izincwadi zakho zivulekile.
Tshela umlingani wakho ngezenzo zakho bese uphendula imibuzo yabo. Uma ufuna ukuzuza ukwethenjwa kwabo, lesi yisixazululo esihle kunazo zonke. Ukungacabangi nokufihla izinto ngokuqinisekile kuzongeza uphethiloli emlilweni, okufanele sikuvikele nganoma iyiphi indlela.
4. Khulumisanani
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo. Uma kukhulunywa ngokwakha ukwethembana ngemuva kocansi, akumele uphuthelwe ukuxhumana. Qiniseka ukuthi unaka ngokukhethekile indlela oxhumana ngayo nokuthi uxhumana kanjani.
Ukuxhumana kudlala indima ebalulekile ekwenzeni ngcono ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki. Ngakho-ke, yabelana ngakho konke okwenzekayo engqondweni nasenhliziyweni yakho. Noma, kufanele wabelane ngezinto ezenzeka ehhovisi lakho ukuze omunye wakho obalulekile akwazi ukukuthemba futhi ngemuva kokuthandana.
5. Ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo
Masibe qotho ngesihluku ngeqiniso lokuthi ukuthandana akuwona neze umthwalo womuntu oyedwa. Uma nisothandweni, nobabili kufanele nabelane ngomthwalo.
Ngakho-ke, lapho ikati lingaphandle kwebhokisi, esikhundleni sokulwa nilokhu nisolana, yiba ovuthiwe futhi wamukele iphutha. Yamkeleni lolu daba bese nobabili nithole indlela yokuphuma kukho, uma nisazimisele ngokuba nobudlelwano obuqinile.
6. Ukubeka imithetho ethile
Ungabulungisa kanjani ubudlelwano ngemuva kokukopela? Futhi ungamethemba kanjani umyeni wakho futhi?
Enye indlela ukusungula imithetho ethile kuze kube yilapho uthola ukwethenjwa. Omunye wakho obalulekile udlule enhliziyweni ngemuva kokungathembeki. Ngeke neze kube lula ngabo ukungazinaki izinto futhi baziphathe sengathi konke kujwayelekile.
Kufanele baqonde ukuthi bazodinga isikhathi sokululama kusukela ekuhlukumezekeni, futhi kuzothatha isikhathi ukuthi izinto ziphinde zijwayelekile. Ngakho-ke, nobabili kufanele nibeke imithetho ethile okufanele niyilandele ukubasiza baphinde bathembeke ngemuva kokukhaphela.
7. Funa usizo
Ukusetha kabusha konke kubuyele kokujwayelekile ngeke kube umsebenzi olula ngemuva kokungathembeki. Uhambo lokuthuthukisa ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki lungaba nzima futhi lube yinselele.
Ukuba nobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo ngemuva kokukopela, funa usizo lomuntu omaziyo futhi omethembayo, noma umeluleki ongakusiza ekuqondiseni ukuthi ungathembana kanjani emuva ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Zama ukuthola ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bungenzeka kanjani ekungathembekini ngokushesha okukhulu bese ufuna usizo lochwepheshe ukuze unqobe noma yiziphi izingqinamba ongabhekana nazo.
8. Qala kabusha ebudlelwaneni bakho bezocansi
Ukwakha kabusha ubudlelwane bakho bezocansi yiyona nto eyinselele kakhulu yokwenza ngcono ukwethembana ngemuva kokungathembeki.
Ukuzibandakanya kwezocansi nomlingani wakho ngeke kube lula nakancane. Ngakho-ke, kufanele ubuchaze kabusha ubuhlobo bakho bezocansi bese uthatha ikhefu, uma kudingeka.
Ngaphandle kokuthi ukhululeke futhi nozakwenu futhi, ukuzibandakanya ngokwenyama akuwona neze umqondo omuhle. Ngakho-ke, qonda isimo bese ushaya ucingo ngokufanele.
Ukungathembeki ebudlelwaneni akuyona into enhle. Kuhlala kubalulekile ukuthi uhlale uthembekile kumlingani wakho futhi ugcine ubudlelwane obunempilo futhi obuqinile. Uma uzwa ukuthi uthando luyancipha empilweni yakho, khona-ke funa usizo lochwepheshe ngaphambi kokuba luholele odabeni.
Kuhlale kungcono ukuthatha isinqumo esivuthiwe ukugwema ukucekela phansi ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwenu nobabili.