-Delile
- Ngabe lolu hlelo lusebenza kanjani?
- Isinyathelo sesibili
- Isinyathelo sesithathu
- Isinyathelo sesine
- Isinyathelo sesihlanu
I-Relationship Cure kaJohn Gottman umsunguli we-Gottman Institute iyincwadi esekwe ekuthuthukiseni ubudlelwano obuseduze.
Kule ncwadi, uDkt Gottman weluleka abafundi bohlelo olusebenzayo ukuze baphendule futhi babelane ngolwazi lomzwelo komunye nomunye. Uhlelo lungasetshenziswa ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene zempilo nobudlelwano kufaka phakathi umlingani womshado, ibhizinisi kanye nobaba.
Ngokusho kwakhe impumelelo yobudlelwano incike ekuthengisweni kolwazi olungokomzwelo phakathi kwalaba bobabili. Lokhu kuvumela ukuxhumana okunempilo futhi nakho, kusiza ekwakheni ukuxhumana okuqinile phakathi kwabantu ababili.
Lapho abantu behlangana, baqala ukuzwana futhi bafika ezingeni lokuba lapho bekwazi khona ngokwengeziwe ukwabelana ngemithwalo nenjabulo yempilo yabo.
Ngokuya ngocwaningo olwenziwe nguDkt. Gottman, lapho lokhu kwenzeka kakhulu, ubuhlobo buqala ukwaneliseka ngokwengeziwe. Lokhu kwehlisa amathuba okuthi abantu ababili balwe futhi babe nezingxabano.
Lelisu lisiza ekuzigcineni zibandakanyekile futhi zixhumene. Isizathu esikhulu sezinga eliphezulu lesehlukaniso namuhla ukwehluleka kwabantu ababili ukuhlala bethembekile futhi bexhumekile.
Ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuthi abantu bafunde ukuhlanganyela futhi baphendule imizwa.
Ngabe lolu hlelo lusebenza kanjani?
Uhlelo lokuzisiza olwenzelwe uDkt. Gottman luchaza ibhidi njengokwabelana kokuxhumana okungokomzwelo phakathi kwabantu ababili. Lo mqondo ubalulekile ekuxhumaneni okuhle nasekuxhumaneni ngokomzwelo.
Ibhidi, njengoba kuchaziwe nguGottman ukubukeka kobuso, isenzo esincane, igama olishoyo, ukuthinta ngisho nephimbo lezwi.
Akunakwenzeka ukuxhumana kanjena. Noma ungenazinkulumo ebusweni bakho futhi ubheke phansi, noma welula isandla ukuze ubathinte, uyakhuluma ungazi. Umuntu omthintayo uzonamathisela incazelo ebhizinisini lakho ngokungazi.
Into elandelayo echazwa uDkt Gottman yizigaba ezintathu ezihlukene lapho impendulo yesicelo sakho izowela khona:
1. Isigaba sokuqala impendulo “yokujika”. Lokhu kubandakanya ukuthinta iso eligcwele, ukunaka ngokugcwele, ukuhlinzeka umuntu ngemicabango, imibono nemizwa.
2. Isigaba sesibili impendulo “yokufulathela”. Le mpendulo ukwehluleka ukunaka ibhidi yomuntu ngokungayinaki ngokuphelele, ukuba matasa noma ukugxila kolunye ulwazi olungahlobene.
3. Isigaba sesithathu sempendulo naso siyisigaba esiyingozi kunazo zonke futhi saziwa njengempendulo “yokujikela”. Iqukethe izimpendulo ezibucayi, eziphikisanayo, zokulwa nokuzivikela.
Manje kufanele wazi ngalezi zimpendulo njengoba lesi kuyisinyathelo sokuqala kwezinhlanu zokugcina nokwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nobungokomzwelo.
Nazi ezinye izinyathelo:
Isinyathelo sesibili
Isinyathelo sesibili ekwelashweni kobuhlobo ukuthola ubunjalo bobuchopho nokuthi uhlelo lomyalo womzwelo lusebenza kanjani, i-physiology.
Uhlelo lomyalo luvame ukubizwa ngokuthi amasekethe asekelwe emithanjeni akhona ebuchosheni ahlangana ngamanye amasiginali kagesi.
Lokhu kunomsebenzi wokunquma izici ezithile zomuntu ngaphambili, njengobunjalo babo.
Kule ncwadi, kunochungechunge lwemibuzo ekhona esiza ekuboneni amasistimu omyalo abaluleke kakhulu kumuntu nokuthi asebenza kanjani ukuze anikele enhlalakahleni yakho.
Isinyathelo sesithathu
Lesi sinyathelo sibandakanya ukusetshenziswa kwemibuzo yocwaningo ukuthola ifa lomzwelo lomlingani wakho nokuthi kuthinta kanjani ikhono lomuntu lokuxhuma izitayela ezahlukahlukene zokubhida.
Isibonelo esihle salokhu kungaba ukuthola izindlela ezithile zokuziphatha zomndeni womlingani wakho kanye nokudluliswa kwawo ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane.
Isinyathelo sesine
Lesi sinyathelo ekwelashweni kobudlelwano ukuthuthukiswa kwamakhono okuxhumana angokomzwelo. Ngalokhu kufanele uqaphele futhi ufunde izindlela umzimba oxhumana ngazo, incazelo yawo, ukuveza imizwa, ukunaka, ukudala ikhono lokulalela nokukhomba amasiko abalulekile.
Ezinye izibonelo zolimi lomzimba zingaba yindawo yokuqala ukukhonjwa.
Isinyathelo sesihlanu
Lesi isinyathelo sokugcina nesesihlanu sokwelapha ikhambi. Kubandakanya ukufunda ukukhomba nokuthola izincazelo ezabiwe komunye nomunye. Lesi sinyathelo sifaka phakathi ukubona umbono nemibono yomunye umuntu ukuze uthole inhloso efanayo.
Kubandakanya nokubona nokuhlonipha umbono wabo nokubasekela ngenhloso yabo.
Ukwelashwa Kobudlelwano kunikeza umfundi izeluleko ezisebenzayo ezisuselwa kulwazi olunzulu kanye nesipiliyoni somtholampilo.
UDkt. Gottman uhlose ukusiza abantu ukuthi babone izinyathelo ezilula zothando olucashile futhi bagxile ezithweni zokunaka, kepha; indlela osebenza ngayo emshadweni wakho kukuwe. Akekho owazi isimo sobudlelwano bakho kangcono kunawe.
Ngakho-ke funda le ncwadi, uqonde ukuthi izinto zisebenza kanjani ebudlelwaneni futhi uzisebenzise ebudlelwaneni bakho.