-Delile
- 1. Ukunamathela
- 2. Ukujeziswa
- 3. Uthando olugodlayo, ubulili, nobudlelwano bakho
- 4. Ukungabi nalutho ngokomzwelo nesimo sokuhoxa
- 5. Isimo sengqondo sokulawula
- Uzohamba nini ngemuva kokungathembeki
- Ungakuthola kanjani ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokuqomisana
Ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki kungukukhahlela okubuhlungu emathunjini okuthola isipiliyoni esivele sibucayi. Noma ngabe nguwe owawuthandana noma okhohliswayo, ukungathembeki kungaletha okubi kakhulu kuwo wonke umuntu.
Futhi ngeshwa, ukukhathazeka nokudlula ekukhaselweni kuyahambisana.
Noma ngabe bekuyindaba engokomzwelo noma engokomzimba, ukuhlala ngalolu lwazi ohlangothini ngalunye lwemali kudonsa ngokomzwelo. Ingasaphathwa eyokudabukisa, ekhandlayo, kanye nezinye izichasiso ezingemnandi!
Ungase ucabange ukuthi ungaphezu kokungazi, kepha iqiniso libhekene nokukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki kuvame kakhulu futhi kungahlala isikhashana.
Funda ukuze wazi ukuthi ungaphumelela kanjani ekukhohlisweni, futhi nihlale ndawonye. Okubaluleke kakhulu, yazi ukuthi ungabuthola kanjani ubuhlungu bokungathembeki.
Kuyini ukukhathazeka nokuthi kubuthinta kanjani ubuchopho bakho
Ungumuntu onamandla, ungahle ucabange; uvame ukuzizwa sengathi ungadlula noma yini. Ungakunqoba ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki ngokushesha nje lapho usonga ingqondo yakho ngokwenzekile nokuthi imizwa yokukhathazeka ivelaphi.
Ukuthola ukukhohliswa emshadweni kungadala ukucindezeleka okungapheli, okudala i-hormone ebizwa ngokuthi i-cortisol. ICortisol idala ukuphazamiseka kwemizwelo ebuchosheni bakho futhi kungaholela ekucindezelekeni nasekukhathazekeni.
Ukucindezeleka okungapheli nokukhathazeka kuthinta impilo yakho ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Ukukhathazeka kungakushiya uvulekele ukugula nezifo futhi kubangele ukuthi umzimba wakho ukhathele emzimbeni.
Ukuba nokukhathazeka okuncane ngemuva kokungathembeki kuyinto ejwayelekile kepha ukungayibheki imizwa enjalo nokunikezela ebuhlungwini bokungathembeki kungadala ukuthi bakhule, kuvame ukuholela emiphumeleni yesikhathi eside.
Imiphumela emibi yokukhathazeka ngemuva kokuthandana
Ukukhathazeka ngokukhohlisa umlingani wakho nakho akuvamile. Kungadala:
- isiyezi
- ikhanda
- ukwethuka
- uvalo
- inkinga yokuphefumula
- inkinga yokulala
- ukushaya kwenhliziyo
Ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano kungenzeka ngezizathu ezilandelayo:
- Wena noma umlingani wakho wephule isibopho sokwethembana ngokuthandana
- Ukulwa njalo ngezinkinga ezijwayelekile nezimbi
- Ukucindezeleka ngezimo zomsebenzi noma zomndeni
- Ukukhula kokugula nokukhathazeka ngempilo
- Ukungakhathaleli nokuziphatha kokulawula
Okulandelayo eminye yemiphumela emibi ongayithola ngenxa yokukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki:
1. Ukunamathela
Lapho uqala ukukhathazeka ngekusasa lobudlelwano bakho, ukusabela kwakho kwemvelo ukunamathela kulokho okholelwa ukuthi ulahlekelwa yikho. Kulokhu, lowo kuzoba ngumlingani wakho.
Ngakho-ke, ukukhohliswa kushintsha kanjani wena?
Uma ukhethe ukuhlala nomlingani wakho ngemuva kokungathembeki, ungazizwa unamathele kakhulu kubo ngokwesaba ukuthi bazokulimaza futhi. Lolu hlobo lokunamathiselwe oluvela ku- ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki kuholela ebuhlotsheni obuncikile obukwenza uzizwe ungaphansi kolawulo.
Ukunamathela kuhlotshaniswa kakhulu nokulahlekelwa ukuzimela kwakho, umona nokungazethembi. Ukungathembeki esikhathini eside kuthinta umlingani ngezinga elikhulu lapho bangaqala khona ukungabaza izenzo zabo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba necala komlingani ngemuva kokukopela kungabashayela nasekuziphatheni okunamathelayo abangazisola ngakho kamuva.
2. Ukujeziswa
Impendulo yakho yokukhathazeka ekubhekaneni nothando ingahle ifake izindlela ezimbili zokujeziswa. Okokuqala, ungahle uthande ukujezisa umlingani wakho ngokukuhlukumeza nangokukhaphela ukwethenjwa kwakho.
Lokhu kungazibonakalisa ngokusebenzisa inkulumo enenzondo, ukucekela phansi impilo yabo yezenhlalo noma yobungcweti, noma ukubakhohlisa ngenxa yenhlamba.
Ngaphezu kwalokhu, ungahle uthande ukujezisa ngokuvumela lokhu kwenzeke, ngokungaboni izimpawu zokuthandana ngaphambi kwesikhathi, noma ngokuthandana. Ngale ndlela, ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki kungazibonakalisa ekuziphatheni okuzilimazayo njengokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ukudla ngokweqile, nokuzilimaza.
3. Uthando olugodlayo, ubulili, nobudlelwano bakho
Lapho umlingani engathembekile, kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi wehluleke ukulawula impilo yakho. Enye indlela ongazizwa ngayo ukuthi ungabuyisa amandla ukuvimba umlingani wakho.
Lokhu kungasho ukuthi ugodla uthando, ukwethembana, ukusondelana ngokocansi, nemininingwane ngempilo yakho, noma kungenzeka ukuthi ubambe amathuba okulungisa ubudlelwano bakho njengendlela yokujeziswa.
Akunandaba ukuthi ukwenza kanjani lokhu, ungazizwa ukuthi ngokugodlela umlingani wakho, uzozivikela emizweni yokulimala. Ukwesaba ukuphinde ukhohliswe kukhona, futhi ungaqala ukuzincisha umoya.
4. Ukungabi nalutho ngokomzwelo nesimo sokuhoxa
Ukuzizwa ungaboni emehlweni ngumuntu omthanda kakhulu kungaba nomthelela owedlulele ngokwengqondo esimweni sakho somzwelo. Lokhu kungaholela ekuzithobeni ngokomzwelo noma ekubeni ndikindiki.
Abanye bathola ukukhathazeka, ukungabi nalutho ngokomzwelo, nokwethuka ngenxa yokungathembeki ngokweqile kangangokuba ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zisebenzisa izindlela zokweluleka ezigulini ezine-PTSD (noma post infidelity stress disorder) emibhangqwaneni ebhekene nokuhlaselwa ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni bayo.
Ungase uzibuze, ingabe icala lokukhohlisa liyaphela?
Futhi, uma kunjalo, ungakudlula kanjani ukungathembeki futhi nihlale ndawonye? Ungaqhubeka kanjani ukusuka ekukhohlisweni?
Ukuzama ukusindisa umshado wakho ngemuva kokuqomisana uma umlingani naye efisa ukwenza okufanayo kuyinto efanele ukuyenza, noma ngabe kubonakala kunzima kangakanani.
Iba nengxoxo evulekile ngayo, futhi uma ifika engqinamba kunoma yiliphi izinga, thintana nomeluleki wemishado ndawonye. Kepha uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungakuyeka kanjani ukungazethembi ngemuva kokukhohliswa, impendulo ilula.
Akunandaba ukuthi utshelwa ini, zethembe. Umlingani wakho ukhethe ukukhohlisa esikhundleni sokuxazulula izinkinga ebudlelwaneni. Akulona iphutha lakho. Ukukhathazeka komshado ngemuva kokungathembeki kuyinto evamile, kodwa ungakuvumeli ukuthi kufinyelele kuwe.
Buka le vidiyo ekhuthazayo ekucabangeni kabusha ukungathembeki.
5. Isimo sengqondo sokulawula
Lapho abantu bezizwa bengavikelekile, bangazama futhi balawule ophathina babo. Uma uhlala nomlingani wakho ngemuva kokuqomisana, kungahle kube ukuthambekela kwakho kokulawula.
Le ngenye ingxenye yokukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki. Ungafuna umlingani wakho akunikeze ukufinyelela kwamahhala kufoni yabo nakwamanye amadivayisi. Uzofuna ukwazi ukuthi bakuphi ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi ungahle uthambekele ekuhlaselweni ngemuva kokukopela uma izidingo zakho zingafinyelelwanga.
Ukuba nokulawula okuphelele kobudlelwano bakho kungazizwa kukhululeka ekuqaleni, kepha kuyakhathaza ngokomzwelo futhi kusiza kuphela ukuzala ukusola okuhlala njalo.
Imiphumela yezengqondo yomlingani okopelayo ingaba yimbi kakhulu, futhi ukuzibandakanya ezintweni ezinjalo kungaholela ekuzweleni okuningi ngemuva kokungathembeki.
Uzohamba nini ngemuva kokungathembeki
Ukugxekwa okungapheli, izinsongo ezingokwengqondo, ukusetshenziswa njalo kwecala njengesikhali, okudinga ukudalulwa okungaguquguquki, nokunciphisa impilo yezenhlalakahle yomlingani wakho kungazizwa kufanelekile ngenxa yezimo. Futhi mhlawumbe bakulowo mzuzu.
Kepha ekugcineni, kufanele ubuyele endaweni lapho ungapholisa khona ubudlelwano bakho ngaphandle kombono oqhubekayo wokuthi umlingani wakho unecala kuze kutholakale engenacala.
Uma ungeke ukwazi ukwenza lokhu, kufanele ungabe usathandana nalo muntu ngoba akusizi ngalutho ukulahlekelwa yingqondo yakho ngenxa yokukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki komlingani wakho. Futhi alikho neze iphuzu lokugcina ubudlelwano obungaqondakali ekuphulukisweni nasekusondeleni futhi.
Ungakuthola kanjani ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokuqomisana
Ungaphola kanjani ngemuva kokukhohliswa?
Hhayi, akusona isinyathelo osithatha ngosuku olulodwa. Ukukhetha ukuxolela umuntu, noma ngabe uhlala naye noma cha, kuyisinqumo osenza nsuku zonke.
Ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kunconyelwa kakhulu imibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye ngemuva kocansi. Uma ungasekho nomlingani okopelayo, funa ukwelashwa kwangasese ukuze usebenze ngokungavikeleki nokukhathazeka osele nakho.
Ungazibuza ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukwedlula ukungathembeki, kepha impendulo incike ekutheni uzivumela kalula kanjani ukuthi welaphe nokuthi umlingani wakho usebenzisana kangakanani nalokho. Lokhu kunomthelela omkhulu ezigabeni zokubuyiselwa kokungathembeki kwezithandani.
Ngenkathi ukukhathazeka ngemuva kwendaba kuyinto ejwayelekile, lokho akusho ukuthi kuzwakala kukuhle noma kukusiza ukuba ubhekane nobuhlungu obuzwile. Ukufuna ukwelulekwa, ikakhulukazi uma ukhethe ukuhlala nomlingani wakho, kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokwelashwa kokukhathazeka okungapheli ngemuva kokungathembeki.
Ezinye izindlela zokulwa nokukhathazeka okubangelwe wukuthatha umdlalo wokuzilibazisa omusha, ukuzivocavoca umzimba, uzungeze abantu abanethemba, futhi uqhubeke ubheke phambili futhi wenze amasu amasha ngekusasa lakho njengesinye sezinyathelo zokunqoba ukungathembeki kozakwethu. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi ubheke phambili ngomgomo omuhle engqondweni.
Ngabe ubudlelwano bungabuyela kokujwayelekile ngemuva kokukopela? Yebo, lokho kuya ngezici eziningana. Ubudlelwano babuzolimala kanjani ekuqaleni? Ngabe usebenza malini lo mbhangqwana ekubuyiseleni ubudlelwano emgqeni?
Kwabanye, ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokungathembeki akupheli ngenkathi eminye imibhangqwana izama ukuyenza isebenze, usuku olulodwa ngesikhathi.