-Delile
- 1. Bheka abelaphi abagxile ekwelashweni "kwezithandani"
- 2. Khetha umelaphi ngendlela efanele
- 3. Iya ekwelashweni kwezithandani ongakwazi ukuzikhokhela
- 4. Funa umelaphi onamasu ovumelana nawo
- 5. Thola umelaphi ohambisana nezimiso zakho
- 6. Khetha umelaphi okhomba ezinye izinhlangano
- 7. Ukwelashwa kwezithandani eziku-inthanethi
Ngakho-ke wena nomlingani wakho nithathe isinqumo sokwelashwa ngemishado.
Kodwa-ke, awuqiniseki ukuthi ungawuthola kanjani futhi kanjani umelaphi wezithandani ukuze unikeze omaye bakho bobudlelwano. Ungabe usakhathazeka! Namuhla, ngizokusiza uthole ukwelashwa kwezithandani okuhle kakhulu ongakuthola ukubuyisela ubudlelwano bakho esimweni.
Nalu uhlu lwezinto okufanele uzicabangele lapho ufuna umeluleki wezobudlelwano obuhle kakhulu noma owelapha imibhangqwana.
1. Bheka abelaphi abagxile ekwelashweni "kwezithandani"
Umelaphi wezemishado ongcono kunabo bonke abasebenza emkhakheni wobungcweti.
Ngenkathi abanye balaba bachwepheshe begxile ekubhekaneni neziguli ngazinye, kukhona abelaphi bezobudlelwano abagxila ikakhulu emibhangqwaneni njengamakhasimende kuphela.
Ungafuna ukuya emihlanganweni yokwelashwa nomuntu owazi kabanzi mayelana namandla obudlelwano nezindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano.
Udinga ukuholwa ngumchwepheshe onolwazi oluningi ekwelulekeni. Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kuhlukile kokwelashwa kwezithandani, ngakho-ke kungcono kakhulu ukuya emtholampilo ongabhekela izidingo zakho nobabili.
Buka futhi:
2. Khetha umelaphi ngendlela efanele
Ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana esekwe ebufakazini kufakazele ukuthi kuyasebenza kakhulu kunendlela yokwelashwa kwe-psychoanalytic futhi ekhona. Ngakho-ke kusho ukuthini ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana esekelwe ebufakazini?
Le ndlela imayelana nokwamukela izindlela ezifanayo ezisetshenziswa eminye imibhangqwana efana nesimo sakho. I-EFT futhi ingenye yezindlela ezithandwa kakhulu futhi ezisebenza kahle ezifanele ukuzama.
Bese futhi, kuya njalo ngesimo sakho, ukushuba kwenkinga, isizathu sokuthi kungani udinga ukwelashwa kwezithandani kwasekuqaleni.
3. Iya ekwelashweni kwezithandani ongakwazi ukuzikhokhela
Uma ufuna umuzwa omuhle wokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana, kufanele ube ukulungele ukukhokha imali yangempela. Iningi labelaphi likhokhisa ngehora, futhi kuncike kakhulu ekutheni inqubo izoba yinde kangakanani.
Izindleko futhi ziyahlukahluka kusuka kumelaphi kuya kumelaphi kuya ngezinga labo lemfundo, izitifiketi nokuqeqeshwa okufeziwe.
Akudingeki ukuthi uthathe insiza eshibhe kakhulu etholakalayo. Kumele ukhumbule ukuthi okudingayo yisipiliyoni sokwelashwa esihle kakhulu esifanelwe isikhathi nemali yakho.
4. Funa umelaphi onamasu ovumelana nawo
Akubona bonke abelaphi abanendlela eyodwa ejwayelekile yokwelashwa. Abanye basebenzise izindlela ezingajwayelekile nezindlela zokuhlola ukubona ukuthi bangasebenzela yini nobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle.
Uma ungakhululekile ngamasu owelapha, kufanele uthole enye ozizwa ulula futhi uvikelekile ngayo.
Noma lowo mphilisi kuthiwa ungcono kakhulu edolobheni, akusizi ukuziphoqa ukuthi uvumelane nalezi zindlela.
Khumbula, impumelelo yokwelashwa ixhomeke ekutheni uzimisele kangakanani ukubamba iqhaza ekwakhiweni kohlelo lomelaphi.
5. Thola umelaphi ohambisana nezimiso zakho
Imibhangqwana ivame ukuza ekwelashweni njengomzamo wayo wokugcina wokugwema isehlukaniso.
Ngokumangazayo, abelaphi abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi isehlukaniso asibi ngempela, okuyiqiniso kwezinye izimo ukuthi kufanelekile.
Kodwa-ke, uma nina, njengombhangqwana, niqinile enkolelweni yenu yokuthi isehlukaniso asisoze saba inketho, ungahle uthande ukuya kumelaphi ophethe izindinganiso ezifanayo nezakho.
Kunesizathu sokuthi abelaphi abamelene nesehlukaniso bangcono kunalabo abasuke besocingweni ngale nkinga.
Okokuqala, isehlukaniso kunzima kakhulu ukusicubungula ngokomzwelo, ngokomthetho, nangokwezimali hhayi kubo bobabili kuphela kodwa nasezinganeni zabo, uma zikhona.
Ucwaningo olukhulu luye lwafakazela ukuthi izingane zesehlukaniso zinomthelela omubi ngokwehlukana kwabazali bazo nokuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungathonya lokho abaphenduka babe sebebadala.
Okwesibili, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi umshado uhlangabezana namazinga okushintshashintsha enjabulo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi ukushaya into ebucayi ebudlelwaneni benu akusho ukuthi ukuphela kwenu nobabili.
6. Khetha umelaphi okhomba ezinye izinhlangano
I-AAMFT noma i-American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists iyinhlangano eyenziwe ngabelaphi abazinikele ngokukhethekile ukwelulekwa kwezithandani nokwelashwa kwezithandani.
Umelaphi oyingxenye yale nhlangano nguyena othole ukuqeqeshwa okuqinile, walandela izifundo eziqokiwe, futhi waqondiswa ngumelaphi womshado. Kuyinhlangano yomhlaba wonke enamalungu angaphezu kwe-50,000 emhlabeni wonke.
Umelaphi naye muhle uma ebhalisela i-AASECT noma i-American Association for Sex Educators, Counsellors, and Therapists.
Njenge-AAMFT, abelaphi abazikhomba kule nhlangano bathole isitifiketi sebhodi labo ngemuva kokuqeqeshwa kanzima, bathola isipiliyoni esigadiwe, kanye nesibonelo sokuziphatha okuhle.
7. Ukwelashwa kwezithandani eziku-inthanethi
Ungase futhi ufune ukucabanga ngemithi yokwelapha imibhangqwana online. Yebo, lokho kukhona.
Lokhu kufanelekile emibhangqwaneni ehlala ilahlekelwa izikhathi zobuso nobuso ngenxa yokuhamba emsebenzini noma uhlelo olumatasa kakhulu. Futhi, kulula futhi ukuthi amakhasimende akhansele uma kwenzeka kuvela okungalindelekile.
Ungakwazi nokuhambela amaseshini aku-inthanethi noma ngabe ukuphi inqobo nje uma unokuxhumeka okuzinzile kwe-inthanethi nekhamera esebenzayo kukhompyutha yakho, ifoni noma ithebhulethi.
Isivumelwano sokwelapha ngemibhangqwana eku-inthanethi ukuthi awutholi ukuxhumana kwangempela nelinye iqembu. Lokhu kungenza umehluko omkhulu ekuhambeni kwengxoxo, kunikezwe izinkomba ezingekho nemingcele yokuxhumana.
Imisebenzi yakho nayo ikhawulwe kakhulu uma uhlangana kuphela ku-inthanethi.
Kodwa-ke, kungcono ukuthola le nketho kunokungayi nakancane ekwelashweni kwezithandani ngoba awunaso isikhathi sokushayela uye emtholampilo futhi uhlale phansi nodokotela ihora elilodwa lonke.
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani ezihamba phambili wena nomlingani wakho kungahle kungabi sohlwini lwasendaweni, ngakho-ke kufanele useshe ibangana elijana kunengaba engamamayela angama-30.
Ngokunikezwa wonke amathiphu ashiwo ngenhla, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi uzomthola umelaphi okulungele wena. Khumbula, umeluleki owukhethayo ungenye yezinto ezinqumayo ngomphumela wobudlelwano bakho.