"Umshado omuhle ungaba nenani elikhulu, kepha umshado omuhle awulutho" ~ David Jeremiah ~
Yini eyenza umshado uphumelele?
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, ama-Psychotherapists, abaqeqeshi bemishado, izincwadi zokuzisiza nabanye benza konke okusemandleni abo ukuchaza ukuthi yini eyenza umshado omuhle nokuthi ungalugcina kanjani uthando emshadweni wakho futhi wenze uthando luhlale njalo. Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ngaphandle kwalo lonke usizo nezindatshana nezeluleko ezivela kumakholomu ezeluleko nokunye, isehlukaniso sidlangile emphakathini wethu. Imishado ibhidlika mihla namalanga kanti umuntu uphoqeleka ukuba azindle, kwenzakalani?
Kwenzekani esikhungweni somshado?
Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi kunezizathu ezithile zokuthi kungani imishado ichitheka kodwa ngibonile futhi ngicabanga ukuthi esinye sezizathu ezinkulu esenza imishado iwele kungenxa yokuthi njengakho konke okunye sekuyinto eyenziwe ngokuhweba. Akugcinanga lapho, kodwa sekubuye kwaba wumncintiswano wokuthi ngubani ongaba nomshado omkhulu futhi ohamba phambili. Ababaningi abantu abazinika isikhathi sokuzibandakanya imicabango yokuthi kungani beshada nokuthi bangathanda ukuba nomshado onjani.
Inkinga ukuthi kulesi sikhathi esiphila kuso sichitha imali eningi kakhulu nesikhathi nesikhathi ekuhleleni umshado esingawusebenzisi isikhathi nemali nhlobo ekutholeni ukuthi yini ngempela yenza umshado omuhle nokuthi singakwenza kanjani unayo umshado omuhle. Ngokuthengiswa kwemishado, senziwe sakholwa ukuthi uthando yilokho okudingayo ukuqinisa umshado, kepha lelo akulona iqiniso eliphelele. Akukho lutho olungahambi kahle ngothando, kuyisiqalo esihle sokuqala, kepha akusikho konke okudingekayo ukuqinisa umshado futhi noma imuphi umshado obhebhezelwa othandweni wedwa uzokwehluleka.
Kanye nothando, izindinganiso nesimo sengqondo kuyizinto ezibalulekile emshadweni omuhle
Kubonakala kimi ukuthi abantu abachithi isikhathi esanele ukugxila kuzindinganiso ezibaluleke kubo nokuthi ngabe babelana ngamanani afanayo nabalingani babo. Bagxile kakhulu ezenzakalweni zomlilo ezizobakhona ekuqaleni kobudlelwano kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi zinikeze enye into.
IHollywood isiqinisekisile ukuthi iziqhumane namakhemikhali yizona zinto ezibaluleke kakhulu, kepha kaningi iziqhumane nezibalo zamakhemikhali ziyancipha bese kunikezwa ezinye zezindaba ezinkulu ezingakhulunywa ngazo.
Thatha ezezimali ngokwesibonelo, ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi izingqinamba zezezimali ziyimbangela enkulu yokuchitheka kwemishado eminingi. Ngokwengxenye enkulu, lokhu kwenzeka ngoba abantu abaningi abaziniki isikhathi sokukhuluma ngemali nokuthi izophathwa kanjani lapho sebeshadile. Kunalokho basebenzisa isikhathi nemali emshadweni okwamahora ambalwa kunasemshadweni (omuhle) wokuphila konke.
Inhloso yasekuqaleni yomshado
Ngokwesimo sengqondo, isenzakalo esingesihle iqiniso lokuthi abaningi baye baphuphuthekiswa futhi balahlekelwa umbono wenhloso yokuqala yomshado. Umshado awusona isikhungo esakhelwe ukuzizuzisa, yisikhungo esenzelwe inhloso kuphela yokukhonza, ukukhonza uNkulunkulu nomlingani wakho. Kukule nsizakalo oyizuzayo. Kepha ngibonile ukuthi abaningi bangena emshadweni benokuthi "yini engizoyithola?" isimo sengqondo. Kuliqiniso eliqinisekisiwe ukuthi noma yibuphi ubudlelwane obulindele ukuthola kubo kunokuba ubunikeze, buqhamuka.
Lapho umshado ungenelwa nge "yini kimi?" mindset, umphumela ugcina izikolo. Uqala ukucabanga, ngikwenzile lokhu ngakho-ke kufanele akwenze lokho. Kuba konke ngawe nokuthi yini ongayithola kukho futhi uma ungakutholi okufunayo, nakanjani uzoqala ukufune kwenye indawo. Ukugcina amaphuzu akupheli kahle futhi umshado awukona ukuthi ubani owenza ini, nini.
Ngakho-ke, nakhu engikuphakamisayo:
- Kuthiwani uma siqala ukusebenzisa imali encane ngosuku lomshado uqobo futhi sigxile kakhulu emshadweni?
- Kuthiwani uma singena emshadweni sinesimo "sokuthanda nokukhonza" kunokuba "sigcine amaphuzu amaningi"?
- Kuthiwani uma sigxila kumanani abiwe futhi sakha isisekelo esiqinile kunama-firework kanye ne-chemistry?
- Kuthiwani uma singena kuhambo lomshado, sithatha lolo hambo ngenhloso yokupha nokunikela sisodwa?
Cabanga ngenjabulo engaba khona, futhi ngikholelwa kakhulu ukuthi lokhu kungaba ukuqala kokwenza umshado omuhle!