-Delile
- 1. Trigger-imicabango
- 2. Ukwehluleka ukubekezelela ukulinyazwa
- 3. Ukukhula emndenini ohlukumezayo
- 4. Ukungabi nemingcele emshadweni
- 5. Ukungabi nozwela
- 6. Ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa
Kuvamile ngokuthusayo - abantu bayashada, banethemba lokuphila okujabulisayo, futhi lapho bebheka umshado wabo ngolunye usuku, inkohliso yomlingani onomusa nothando ayisekho. Umuntu obekufanele bathembele ngempilo yakhe nenjabulo nguyena muntu obabangela ukudabuka okukhulu futhi ngeshwa, uvame ukubeka impilo yabo nokuphepha engozini ngokuzibandakanya ekuhlukumezeni umlingani.
Yize ubudlelwano obunjalo bungaphansi kokuhlolwa kwengqondo amashumi eminyaka, kusenzima ukukhomba izimbangela zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo, nokuthi yini eyenza umhlukumezi ahlangane nesiqephu esinodlame.
Kodwa-ke, kunezici ezithile ezijwayelekile zemishado eminingi enjalo, kanye nabenzi bokuhlukumeza abaningi. Nalu uhlu lwezizathu ezinhlanu ezijwayelekile zokuthi kungani ukuhlukunyezwa ngumlingani kwenzeka emshadweni, yini ebangela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nokuthi kungani abahlukumezi behlukumeza:
1. Trigger-imicabango
Ubuhlobo obuhlukumezayo buqala kanjani?
Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi okuvimbela ngqo udlame empikiswaneni yomshado ukulandelana kwemicabango eyingozi kakhulu, okuvame ukuveza isithombe esisonteke ngokuphelele seqiniso.
Akuvamile ukuthi ubudlelwano bube nezindlela zabo zokuphikisana ezingavamisile ukuya ndawo futhi ezingakhiqizi ngempela. Kepha ebudlelwaneni obunodlame, le micabango iyimbangela yokuhlukumezeka futhi engaba yingozi kulowo ohlukunyezwayo.
Isibonelo, ukuhlanekezelwa okumbalwa kokuqonda okuvame ukuzwakala engqondweni yomenzi wobubi, noma emuva kwengqondo yakhe, yikho: ucabanga ukuthi uyena, ukhuluma nami ngaleyo ndlela? ”,“ Isiphukuphuku esinjalo nje asinakucaciselwa ngenye indlela ngaphandle kokuphoqwa ”, njll.
Uma lezo zinkolelo zifika engqondweni yomhlukumezi, kubonakala sengathi akusekho ukuhlehla futhi udlame selusondele.
2. Ukwehluleka ukubekezelela ukulinyazwa
Kunzima ukuthi wonke umuntu ahlukunyezwe yilowo esimthandayo futhi sanikela ngempilo yethu kuye. Futhi ukuhlala nothile, ukuhlanganyela ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke nobunzima obungalindelekile kuzoholela ekulimaleni nasekudumazekeni kwesinye isikhathi. Kepha iningi lethu libhekana nezimo ezinjalo ngaphandle kokuba nodlame noma ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kubantu esishade nabo.
Kodwa-ke, abenzi bokuhlukumeza abalingani babonisa ukungakwazi ukubekezelela ukwenziwa okungalungile (noma umbono wabo njengowonakele futhi owoniwe). Laba bantu abakhombisa ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo basabela ezinhlungwini ngokuzwisa abanye ubuhlungu. Abakwazi ukuzivumela bezwe ukukhathazeka, ukudabuka, ukubonakala bebuthakathaka, besengozini, noma behliswa nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Ngakho-ke, okwenza ubuhlobo buhlukumeze ezimweni ezinjalo ukuthi bakhokhisa esikhundleni salokho futhi bahlasele ngokungapheli.
3. Ukukhula emndenini ohlukumezayo
Yize kungebona bonke abahlukumezi abavela emndenini obahlukumezayo noma ebuntwaneni obunesiphithiphithi, iningi labahlukumezi linokuhlukumezeka kwengane emlandweni wabo. Ngokufanayo, izisulu eziningi zokuhlukunyezwa ngumlingani nazo zivame ukuvela emndenini lapho okuguquguqukayo bekuinobuthi futhi kugcwele ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo noma ngokomzimba.
Ngaleyo ndlela, bobabili indoda nowesifazane (imvamisa ngokungazi) babona ukuhlukunyezwa kwabashadikazi emshadweni njengokujwayelekile, mhlawumbe njengokukhombisa ukusondelana nothando.
Emigqeni efanayo, bukela le vidiyo lapho uLeslie Morgan Steiner, oyisisulu sodlame lwasekhaya uqobo, abelana khona ngesipiliyoni sakhe lapho umlingani wakhe, owayenomndeni ongasebenzi kahle, ejwayele ukumhlukumeza ngayo yonke indlela futhi echaza nokuthi kungani izisulu zodlame lwasekhaya zingakwazi ukuphuma kalula ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo:
4. Ukungabi nemingcele emshadweni
Ngaphezu kokubekezelela okuphansi ukulinyazwa ngumhlukumezi, nokubekezelela okuphezulu ulaka, imishado ehlukumezayo ivame ukubonakaliswa yilokho okungachazwa njengokushoda kwemingcele.
Ngamanye amagama, ngokungafani nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni obunempilo obunothando, abantu abasemishadweni ehlukumezayo bakholwa isibopho esingapheli phakathi kwabo. Lokhu kungahle kuphendule umbuzo abantu abanawo wokuthi kungani ukuhlukunyezwa kwenzeka ngisho nakulokho okubizwa ngokuthi ubudlelwano bothando.
Lesi sibopho sikude nezothando, siveza ukuncibilika kwemingcele okudingekayo ebudlelwaneni. Ngaleyo ndlela, kuba lula bobabili ukuhlukumeza oshade naye nokubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa, njengoba kungekho noyedwa ozizwa ehlukanisiwe nomunye. Ngakho-ke, ukuntuleka kwemingcele kuvela njengenye yezimbangela ezivamile zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba.
5. Ukungabi nozwela
Isizathu esilindelekile esenza ukuthi umenzi wobubi enze ubudlova kumuntu ahlanganyela naye impilo yakhe ukungabi nozwelo, noma umuzwa wokuzwela owehle kakhulu, lowo ovumela imikhuba ngaso sonke isikhathi. Umuntu othambekele ekuhlukumezeni uvame ukukholelwa ukuthi cishe unamandla angaphezu kwavamile okuqonda abanye.
Imvamisa babona ukulinganiselwa nobuthakathaka babanye ngokucacile. Kungakho, lapho bebhekene nokuntula kwabo uzwela empikiswaneni noma esimisweni sokwelashwa kwengqondo, baphikisana ngentshiseko nesimangalo esinjalo.
Yize kunjalo, okubaxakayo ukuthi uzwela alusho nje ukubona amaphutha abanye kanye nokungazethembi, lunesakhi esingokomzwelo kulo futhi luza ngokunakekela nokwabelana ngemizwa yabanye.
Eqinisweni, kutholakale ocwaningweni olwenziwe yiNyuvesi yaseBarcelona ukuthi ukufaka umhlukumezi ezicathulweni zesisulu esebenzisa uhlelo lokucwilisa olungokoqobo, abahlukumezi bakwazi ukubona ukuthi izisulu zabo zazizizwa zisesaba kanjani ngenkathi zihlukunyezwa futhi kuthuthukise ukuqonda kwabo imizwelo.
6. Ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa
Ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa kungezinye zezimbangela ezivamile zokuhlukunyezwa ebudlelwaneni. Ngokwe-American Journal of Public Health, kuphinde kwatholakala ukuthi laba bobabili bahlobene futhi ngomqondo wokuthi kwesinye isikhathi abenzi bokuhlukumeza baphoqa nezisulu zabo ukuthi zisebenzise utshwala nezidakamizwa. Izigameko eziningi zodlame zibandakanya ukusetshenziswa kotshwala noma izidakamizwa ezingekho emthethweni.
Amandla obulili ekuhlukunyezweni komlingani
Kuyathakazelisa futhi ukwazi ukuthi ukwanda kokuhlukunyezwa kwabangane bomshado emphakathini we-LGBTQ kubikwa kabi kakhulu ngenxa yokwesaba ukuqhubeka nokukhishwa inyumbazana njengomphakathi, imiqondo eyisisekelo ngamandla abesilisa nabesifazane nokuningi.
Ukukhishwa inyumbazane kubuye kube khona lapho izindima zobulili ziguqulwa ebudlelwaneni bobulili obuhlukile, lapho isimilo somlingani ohlukumezayo singanikezwa ukubaluleka okukhulu ngenkathi kubikwa ukuthi umhlukumezi ungowesifazane. Konke lokhu kungaqinisa isibindi umhlukumezi ukuthi aqhubeke nomjikelezo wodlame.
Umshado uhlala unzima futhi uthatha umsebenzi omningi. Kepha akufanele kulethe ukuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukunyezwa ngumlingani ohlangothini lwalabo abenzelwe ukuvikela abalingani babo engozini. Kwabaningi, ushintsho luyenzeka, ngosizo lochwepheshe kanye nokuholwa, futhi imishado eminingi yaziwa ukuthi iyachuma ngemuva kokukuthola.