-Delile
- Okuqukethwe yimpi yombhangqwana akubalulekile kunenqubo
- Ukuzithemba
- Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ulaka
- Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ulaka lokwenziwa
- Ukuzithoba
- Ukuphathwa
- Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ukuqala inqubo yokuxhumana okungcono
Esinye sezikhalazo esivame kakhulu esivezwa imibhangqwana ukuthi abaxhumani. Kepha iqiniso kufanele litshelwe, akukhona ukuthi abaxhumani, bakwenza nje ngezindlela ezingaphumeleli futhi ezingenampilo.
Zibeka ngamatshe, zikhombe umunwe wazo futhi zibaluleke kakhulu kumlingani wazo noma oshade naye. Abalaleli. Bezwa ukuphendula ekuzivikeleni kwabo. Babambeka ezingxoxweni eziyindilinga ezingayi ndawo ezishiya umuntu ngamunye ekhungathekile, ekhathele, futhi engahloniphi, ezizwa eqhelelene kakhulu nomlingani noma owakwakhe.
Kuzwakala kujwayelekile kakhulu, akunjalo?
Okuqukethwe yimpi yombhangqwana akubalulekile kunenqubo
Abantu bakholelwa ukuthi okuqukethwe (imali, ubulili, umsebenzi wasendlini) kanti empeleni amaphethini aqhubeka nokuziphindaphinda kaningi, kuhambisana nokuntuleka kothando nenhlonipho abazizwa ngayo ngamunye.
Ukuqaqa imibhangqwana yamaphethini wokuxhumana agxilile, isitayela sabo sokuxhumana sibhekiswa kuqala.
Sihlola ukuthi isitayela sabo sakhiwa futhi saqiniswa kanjani. Ngakho-ke, izinguquko zokuqala zivela ekuqondeni kokuqala isitayela sokuxhumana somuntu ngamunye futhi simsize aqaphele isitayela sakhe. Ngemuva kwalokho, bangaqala ukufaka amakhono namasu okunempilo ukudala izingxoxo ezahlukahlukene ezizogcina zixazulule izingqinamba zabo futhi zibenze 'bangagxili.'
Siyini isitayela sakho sokuxhumana?
Ukuzithemba
Lesi sitayela sokuxhumana sincike ekubeni nokuzethemba okunempilo nokuphakeme.
Kuyindlela yokuxhumana ephumelela kunazo zonke. Yisitayela abantu abangathanda ukuba naso, noma ngabe sivame kakhulu. Umuntu uyakwazi ukusebenzisa izwi lakhe ngezindlela eziphumelelayo, ukuphatha imizwa yabo, iphimbo, namandla.
Banokuzethemba ukuxhumana ngezindlela ezizodlulisa umyalezo wabo ngaphandle kokusebenzisa imidlalo yengqondo noma ukukhohlisa. Bayakwazi ukusetha imingcele enempilo futhi efanele futhi abavumeli ukuphoqwa ngaphezu kwemingcele yabo ngoba nje othile efuna okuthile kubo.
Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Finyelela izinhloso ngaphandle kokulimaza abanye
- Ziyakhulumisana emphakathini nangokomzwelo
- Zenzele izinqumo futhi uthathe umthwalo wazo, okuhle noma okubi
- Ziqondile kwezokuxhumana
Ulaka
Lesi sitayela sokuxhumana simayelana nokuwina, imvamisa kukhokhelwa omunye umuntu.
Benza sengathi izidingo zabo zibaluleke kakhulu futhi batshela omunye umuntu lokho. Banomuzwa wokuthi banamalungelo amaningi futhi banikela kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Okubi ngalesi sitayela ukuthi ayisebenzi nje kuphela, kepha ngoba kunamazwi amaningi asobala, umuntu osemsebenzini omatasatasa uphendula kakhulu ngokuthi uthunyelwa kanjani umyalezo.
Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ufuna ukuwina nganoma yiziphi izindleko noma ngezindleko zomunye umuntu
- Ukudinwa ngokweqile, kuyasongela, kunomsindo futhi kunenzondo kwabanye
- Ukufuna, ukuthukuthela, nokuhlukumeza
- Ababambisani, Banentukuthelo futhi bayaziphindiselela
Ulaka lokwenziwa
Lesi isitayela sokuxhumana lapho abantu 'benolaka ngokungatheni.' Ababelani ngendlela abazizwa ngayo ngempela. Zibukeka zingenzi lutho ngokweqile, kepha empeleni zikhombisa ulaka lwazo ngezindlela ezingaqondile, zisebenza ekusithekeni.
Bazizwa benentukuthelo futhi bengenamandla futhi baveze le mizwa ngezindlela ezicashile nezilimaza into abayicasukile. Lokhu kuvame ukuholela ekuzilimaleni. Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ngokungaqondile ngokuhlukumeza
- Ukuhlambalaza, ukukhohlisa nokuvikela
- Ukuhleba
- Ayithembekile, inobuqili futhi inobuso obubili
Ukuzithoba
Lesi sitayela sokuxhumana sigxile ekujabuliseni abanye ngokungazinaki.
Bayakugwema ukungqubuzana babeka izidingo zabanye ngaphambi kwezabo sengathi izidingo zomunye umuntu zibaluleke kakhulu. Bakholelwa lokho abanikela ngakho ngama-pales ngokuqhathanisa nalokho abanganikela ngakho futhi banikele ebudlelwaneni. Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Thola ubunzima ekuthatheni umthwalo ngezinqumo
- Phuma
- Zizwe njengesisulu, usole abanye
- Okungachazeki, ukwenqaba ukuncoma
- Gwema izingxabano futhi uxolise ngokweqile nangokungafanele
Ukuphathwa
Le ndlela yokuxhumana iyabalwa, iyakhiwa, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ihlakaniphile. Bangama-manipulators anekhono lokuthonya nokulawula abanye abantu futhi bakusebenzisele lokhu.
Cabanga ngemvu egqoke izimpisi. Umyalezo wabo oyisisekelo ufihliwe ngamazwi abo akhulunywayo, ashiye umuntu edidekile futhi engazi.
Ukuziphatha okusemqoka okumbalwa:
- Ngobuqili, futhi usebenzise izinyembezi zokufakelwa
- Cela ngokungaqondile ngezidingo okufanele kuhlangatshezwane nazo
- Unekhono lokuthonya noma lokulawula abanye ukuze kuzuze bona
- Kwenza abanye bazizwe bephoqelekile noma babazwele
Ukuqala inqubo yokuxhumana okungcono
Enye yezindlela zokuqala inqubo yokuxhumana okungcono ukusebenzisa isitatimende sikaJohn Gottman seXYZ. Kusebenza kanjena, 'uma wenza u-X esimweni Y, ngizwa Z. Isibonelo ngesikhathi sangempela kungaba into enjengale. “Uma sikhuluma ngodaba oluthile, bese ungiphazamisa noma unginqamula phakathi nesigwebo, ngizizwa ngingelutho futhi ngibeke phansi.
Kulesi sibonelo (okwenzeka kaningi nabashadikazi) awumtsheli lowo umuntu ukuthi wenzani, kunokuba umtshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Ukwenza lokhu kusiza ekunciphiseni ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi impi ikhuphuke futhi kusiza umuntu ngamunye wehlise ijubane ukuze acabange ngalokho akucabangayo futhi aveze imicabango yakhe ngendlela enenhloso futhi enenhloso.
Omunye umuntu ufunda ukulalela futhi ezwe okushiwo omunye umuntu bese ekuphinda. Umuntu ngamunye unethuba lokuqinisekisa futhi acacise okushiwo ngomunye umuntu hhayi lokho ocabanga ukuthi kushiwo - ngoba lokhu kuyinkinga ejwayelekile kakhulu.
Indima yami njengomelaphi nayo ingomunye womlamuleli nengxoxo.
Akufanele nje ngilalelisise nje kuphela, kodwa futhi ngibuye ngicabange emuva kumuntu ngamunye engikuzwayo ukuze kucace. Imibhangqwana iza ekwelashweni ngoba ubudlelwane bayo buphukile. Bayabona ezingeni elithile, ukuthi noma yini abayenzayo, kumane nje ayisebenzi. Bayabona futhi ukuthi badinga usizo ukubuyisela ubudlelwano babo emgqeni.
Kuhle kubo.
Ngakho-ke, kuyisibopho ukuthi ukwelashwa kungabasizi nje kuphela ukwenza lokhu kepha kuqinisekisa ukuthi abaphindi amaphethini njengoba beqhubeka ngenqubo yokwelashwa. Indima yami njengomelaphi nayo ingomunye womlamuleli nengxoxo. Akufanele nje ngilalelisise nje kuphela, kodwa futhi ngibuye ngicabange emuva kumuntu ngamunye engikuzwayo ukuze kucace.
Ngabe kukhona lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile? Ukushintsha isitayela sakho sokuxhumana nokuthatha izinyathelo zokufunda ukukhulumisana kangcono, kuyisihluthulelo sokwenza ubudlelwano bakho buhlale futhi buqhubeke futhi buqinise ubudlelwano bakho ngezindlela ezinempilo!