-Delile
- Izinkolelo ezigqamile ngabesifazane
- 1. Izindima ezahlukahlukene ezinikezwe ngokomqondo wokuziphendukela kwemvelo
- 2. Isimo senhlalo nesiko sinomthelela omkhulu kwabesifazane
- 3. Izimpendulo ezahlukahlukene kwezocansi nobulili obuhlukahlukene
- 4. Umphakathi ubaphatha kanjani abantu besifazane
- 5. Umehluko omkhulu kumasiko nakubantu
- 6. Ukwanda kwenhlangano eyisimanga ye- # metoo
- 7. Umehluko emibonweni
Abesifazane kulindeleke ukuthi baziphathe ngendlela ehlukile kweyabesilisa kusukela kudala. Umqondo wabesilisa nabesifazane abangamaplanethi amabili ahlukene wabanjwa selokhu incwadi ethi, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, yaqala ukushicilelwa emuva ngonyaka we-1992.
Le ncwadi yabhalwa ngumlobi waseMelika nomeluleki wezobudlelwano, uJohn Gray. Zakhiwe ngendlela ehlukile futhi kulindeleke ukuthi ziziphathe ngendlela ehlukile.
Izinkolelo ezigqamile ngabesifazane
Izinkolelo ezinjengabesifazane kufanele zibe yisisekelo sazo zonke izici zezimpilo zabo zilawula kakhulu emphakathini wethu nanamuhla. Noma kunabantu abaphula amaketanga futhi bahlole ubulili babo ngaphezu kokhokho babo, umphakathi wenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze wehlise amazwi abo.
Iningi labantu, kubandakanya nabesifazane abambalwa, liphikisana nombono wokuthi ubulili obulungile kufanele busebenzise amandla abo ocansi abesifazane kaningi.
Umphakathi ophethe abesilisa wesaba ukukhuphuka kokufukulwa kwabesifazane futhi ulwela izwe lapho abesifazane bethuliswa khona futhi bephoqeleka ukwamukela izindima abazinikezwe ngumphakathi uqobo.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani abesifazane belahlekile ekusebenziseni amandla abo ezocansi noma bakhethe ukuthula ngezifiso zabo zocansi.
1. Izindima ezahlukahlukene ezinikezwe ngokomqondo wokuziphendukela kwemvelo
Ngokomqondo wokuziphendukela kwemvelo obhalwe phansi ngu Okami noShackelford, abesifazane batshala imali kakhulu kubuzali kunabesilisa. Ngokusobala, le ndlela ithinte ukukhetha kwabo umlingani nokuzimisela kwabo ukungena ebudlelwaneni besikhashana.
Kusukela ezikhathini zasendulo, kube nezindima zomphakathi ezichazwe ngaphambilini zomuntu ngamunye.
Abesifazane bekulindeleke ukuthi bahlale ekhaya banakekele umndeni. Ekuqaleni, babengadalulwa ngisho nasemfundweni yesimanje. Babenentambo ehlukile kunamalungu esilisa omphakathi.
Ngenhlanhla, isithombe sishintshile namuhla.
Abesifazane bakhiphe ngempumelelo konke ukuvinjelwa. Bathathe ukulawula okuphelele emzimbeni nasengqondweni yabo. Noma kunjalo, bathola ukwaneliseka okuncane ngokuqhubeka bezulazula ngocansi baze babe nezingane.
2. Isimo senhlalo nesiko sinomthelela omkhulu kwabesifazane
Isifiso sobulili kwabesifazane sibucayi ngokweqile emvelweni nasemongweni - U-Edward O. Laumann
U-Edward O. Laumann, U-Ph.D., Unguprofesa wesayensi yezenhlalo e-University of Chicago futhi ungumbhali oholayo wenhlolovo enkulu yezenzo zocansi, iSocial Organisation of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States.
Ngokusho kukaProfessor, iningi lamadoda amadala angaphansi kweminyaka engama-60 acabanga ngocansi okungenani kanye ngosuku. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ikota elilodwa kuphela labesifazane eliwela ngaphansi kweqembu elifanayo liyavuma ukuthi bacabanga ngocansi kaningi. Ukucabanga ngocansi kuyancipha ngeminyaka kepha abesilisa basacabanga kaningi kaningi kaningi.
3. Izimpendulo ezahlukahlukene kwezocansi nobulili obuhlukahlukene
Olunye ucwaningo olushicilelwe kumaJournals of Gerontology lukhombisa ukuthi abesilisa nabesifazane beminyaka eyehlukene basabela kanjani ocansini ngokwehlukile. Ucwaningo luhlanganise imininingwane evela kolunye ucwaningo olubili, iNational Health and Social Life Survey kanye neNational Social Life, Health, and Aging Project.
Esikhungweni seminyaka yobudala engama-44-59, amaphesenti angama-88 abesilisa atholakala ukuthi enza ucansi ngokweqile kunabesifazane abawela ngaphansi kobakaki ofanayo. Abesifazane, babesondele ezithendeni zamadoda, kungekho igebe elibanzi kakhulu. Kulinganiselwa ukuthi cishe amaphesenti angama-72 abesifazane abenza ucansi eqenjini elifanayo.
Olunye uphenyo luye lwaqinisekisa ukuthi abesilisa bakhombisa isifiso sokuya ocansini amahlandla ayi-7 ngenyanga nabesifazane abakhombisa ukungasebenzi kahle kancane ku-6.5.
Izifundo ziphinde zathola ukuthi abesilisa bayaqhubeka nokukhombisa isifiso sobulili esiphakeme noma ngabe beqa umkhawulo wobudala obuphakathi.
Lezi zibalo ezingenhla ziyakufakazela ukuthi abesilisa baqhutshwa kakhulu yizocansi kunabesifazane. Ngakho-ke, ukukhuluma ngocansi nabangane kuyisihloko esingabathinti kangako kubo ngokungafani nabalingani babo besilisa.
4. Umphakathi ubaphatha kanjani abantu besifazane
Umphakathi uphathe abesifazane ngokwehlukile kusukela eminyakeni. Kunamazwe afana neMelika lapho abesifazane bejabulela inkululeko ephelele yokuhlola ubulili babo. Lapha, imiphakathi yasendaweni inezinto ezingcono ezenziwayo kunokufaka amakhala abo ezindlini zokulala zabanye abantu.
Kepha, kunamanye amazwe ambalwa lapho abesifazane abavunyelwe ngisho nokuveza okuncane kwesikhumba sabo esidlangalaleni. Amasiko nenkolo ngamapharamitha amabili anquma ngokoqobo ukuthi umuntu kufanele aziphathe kanjani emphakathini.
5. Umehluko omkhulu kumasiko nakubantu
Ifilimu yamahlaya yothando yaseMelika, i-'Sex and the City 2 ', ibiveze ngokusobala umehluko wamasiko phakathi kwabaphikisi besifazane bale filimu nabesifazane base-Abu Dhabi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ifilimu efanayo ikhombisile ukuthi izwe elinjenge-Abu Dhabi ebelichubeka ngezindlela eziningi belisalokhu ligcina imvelo lapho kuthintwa khona ucansi. Lokhu akuyona nje indaba yezizwe zase-Arabia. Ngisho nabesifazane abavela emazweni aseNingizimu-mpumalanga ye-Asia njengeNdiya babhekana nezinkinga ezifanayo ezihlobene nezocansi nsuku zonke.
6. Ukwanda kwenhlangano eyisimanga ye- # metoo
Isibonelo, ama-slut-shaming abe yithuluzi eliwusizo lokunqoba ubulili obuthakathaka lapha. Umphakathi uhlala uthambekele ekusola owesifazane noma ngabe eyisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi emphakathini. Ngaphandle kokunyakaza okuqhubekayo '#meToo' emhlabeni jikelele, zimbalwa izisulu ezingazimisele ukuphakamisa amazwi abo ngokumelene nezoni zabo.
Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izisulu zokudlwengulwa zihlukumezeka kakhulu ngemibuzo ephazamisayo ebuzwe yona ngabameli enkantolo evulekile.
Ngisho nabesifazane bezizwe ezithuthukayo ezifana neMelika benziwa amahlazo. Ucwaningo olwenziwe yi-American Association of University Women, luveza ukuthi ama-slut-shaming angenye yezindlela eziyinhloko zokuhlukumeza ngokocansi abafundi abasesikoleni esiphakathi nasesikoleni esiphakeme ababhekana nazo.
Esinye isibonelo sokuhlambalaza sathinta abezindaba ngesikhathi iHuffington Post ishicilela lawo ma-imeyili ayenikana phakathi kwe-CEO ye-Miss America Organisation uSam Haskell namalungu ebhodi ahlukahlukene. Abaphumelele kulo mncintiswano bahlazeke ngamahloni futhi banamahloni kuma-imeyili.
7. Umehluko emibonweni
Akulona iqiniso ngokuphelele ukuthi bonke abesifazane bakhetha ukufihla izifiso zabo futhi bavimbe ekuhloleni ubulili babo njengamadoda.
Abanye besifazane bakhuluma kahle ngale ndaba. Eqinisweni, ukushintsha kwesikhathi kwenze abesifazane bengesabi futhi baba nesibindi.
Abesifazane abaningi kancane kancane bayaphuma emibonweni eyeqisayo futhi bathola ukwaneliseka ngaphezu kobudlelwano babo obuzinzile.
Kodwa-ke kukhona abesifazane ababheka ucansi njengento eyimfihlo. Bakhetha ukugcina izimpilo zabo zocansi ngasese. Bathembeke kakhulu kunabesilisa abaningi uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano futhi bajabulela ucansi nomlingani oyedwa.
Kubo, ucansi lumayelana nethuluzi lokuveza imizwa yangempela ngophathina wakhe kunokusuthisa ukulamba komzimba wakhe. Ngokungafani nabesilisa, abesifazane bayakujabulela ukucabanga, ukukhumbula, nokucabanga ngocansi olushisayo. Lapho ecabanga ngokuba ndawonye nomlingani wakhe, isifiso sakhe sobulili siphezulu kakhulu.
Kwabesifazane, ukuya ocansini kumayelana nokujabulela umuzwa wobumbano kunokukhipha umlilo wangaphakathi ovuthayo wezocansi.
Ekugcineni, lahla lezo zivimbelo futhi ukhulume ngokukhululekile izifiso zakho zobulili
Ngokungangabazeki, ngumphakathi, isiko lakudala, kanye nalabo okuthiwa ngamaphoyisa aziphethe kahle ababhekele ukuvimbela abesifazane bayo yonke iminyaka.
Konke kulele kubantu besifazane ukuthi bangakhuluma esidlangalaleni ngempilo yabo yezocansi.
Kepha, ukuhlala ungenandaba nezifiso zakho ngemuva kweminyango evaliwe akulungile. Ucansi lubalulekile uma ufisa ukwenza ubuhlobo bakho bube yimpumelelo. Kepha, kufanele uvuleleke kakhulu kumlingani wakho futhi uveze ngokucacile okufunayo nezifiso zakho.
Kubalulekile ukuthi abesifazane benze isikhathi sezingxoxo zothando nezisondelene ngenkathi bekhululekile ukuzwakalisa izidingo zabo zocansi, nabalingani babo ukuze babe nobudlelwano obujabulisayo futhi obuvusa amadlingozi.