-Delile
- 1. Ukulahleka kokuheha
- 2. Ukuthandana
- 3. Ukungazethembi
- 4. Inkanuko emsulwa engahlangabezani nempendulo
Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi isiko elidumile libaveza kanjani abesilisa, umuntu angazibuza ngokumangala ukuthi kungani emhlabeni amanye amadoda angahle angalufuni ucansi. Kodwa-ke, lokhu akuvamile, neze. Kunezizathu eziningi zokwehla kwesifiso sobulili emadodeni ashadile futhi ziyinkimbinkimbi futhi ziyahlangana. Ezinye zihlobene nobudlelwano, kanti ezinye azihlobene. Futhi zonke zinezixazululo ezihluke kancane, ezibalulekile ukuziqonda. Ake sihlole izizathu ezine eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani lokhu kungaba njalo emshadweni wakho.
1. Ukulahleka kokuheha
Ake siqale sisuse enkulu endleleni. Iningi labesifazane, lapho abayeni babo bengasafuni ukulala nabo, bagxumela esiphethweni sokuthi abasakhangi. Yize, njengoba sizoxoxa kancane, lokhu kungaba futhi kunezinye izimbangela futhi kaningi, lokhu futhi kuyinkinga efanelekile. Kodwa-ke, ungalahli ithemba ngokushesha, ngoba kukhona nezisombululo zale nkinga.
Yize amanye amadoda, ngokufana nabanye besifazane, e-asexual futhi njengoba enjalo enolwazi olungenandaba noma olungenandaba nhlobo kwezocansi, maningi amathuba okuthi umyeni wakho akayona. Uma wayejwayele ukuya ocansini nawe, mhlawumbe akunjalo manje. Ngakho-ke, yini eyashintsha?
Ngeshwa, abesilisa bakukhuthalele ukushintsha abalingani babo ukuze bandise amathuba okudlulisa izakhi zofuzo zabo. Okungahle kube yisizathu esenza alahlekelwe yisifiso ngawe.
Kodwa-ke, ngendlela efanayo lapho isifiso sakhe sehla khona, nayo ingabuyiselwa futhi. Emshadweni, isifiso sobulili siyindaba eyinkimbinkimbi. Kuyinhlanganisela yokuthi lezi zithandani zisebenza kahle kangakanani kuwo wonke amazinga, zokuheha okumsulwa, nokuthi kungakanani umzamo owenziwayo ekugcineni inkanuko ebudlelwaneni. Hlola ukuthi yiziphi kulezi zinto okungenzeka zifake isifiso sakhe kuwe engozini bese uthola izindlela zokusebenzela kuso.
2. Ukuthandana
Esinye isizathu esikhulu esenza ukuthi amadoda angafuni ukuya ocansini wukwesaba okukhulu kowesifazane, okuwukuthi umyeni wakhe akafuni ukulala naye ngoba usuthi - nomunye umuntu.
Yize ukungathembeki kuyisigameko esikhulu nokuhlukumezeka kubo bonke ubudlelwano nakumuntu okhohlisiwe, konke akulahlekile.
Yebo, kwesinye isikhathi abesilisa baqala ukuguqula indlela abaziphatha ngayo kwezocansi bebhekise kubafazi babo ngaphandle kwesizathu. Futhi yebo, kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kubangelwa ukuthi abe nokuthandana.
Ukululama othandweni ngesinye sezimo ezinzima kakhulu osazodlula kuzo. Noma kunjalo, kungenzeka. Udinga ukusebenza ngokuxolela, ekwakheni ukwethembana kabusha, ekubhekaneni nezizathu eziholele ekutheni afune ukuzibandakanya nomunye wesifazane (noma abesifazane). Futhi, okubaluleke, uzodinga ukuthola indlela yakho yokubuyela komunye nomunye ngokocansi.
Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi abantu besifazane, ngokunikwa umehluko wezinguquko, bakuthola kulula ukuxolela ukungathembeki ocansini. Banquma futhi kaningi ukuthi bangabuchithi ubudlelwano. Ngakho-ke, uma uthatha isinqumo sokuqhubeka nomshado wakho, kuwumqondo omuhle ukubona owelapha owaziyo ukuthi angakusiza kanjani ekunqobeni zonke izingqinamba, ukungazethembi, imicabango engalawuleki, nakho konke okunye okufika engqondweni yakho futhi kunivimbe nobabili ekubuyiseleni impilo yocansi.
3. Ukungazethembi
Abesifazane abaningi abayeni babo abayeke kancane kancane ukuveza intshisekelo yokuya nabo ocansini babika ukuthi kunezimpawu endleleni. Mhlawumbe babengeyona leyo ocansini kusukela ekuhambeni. Noma babebonakala bengavikelekile ngokweqile lapho kunesibonakaliso esincane sokungavunyelwa yintombi yabo ngaleso sikhathi. Ngeshwa, lolu hlobo lokukhathazeka kokusebenza luvame ukwanda ngesikhathi uma lungasondelwa ngendlela efanele.
Abesilisa bahlushwa ukukholelwa (okuvame ukusekelwa ngokuziphatha kwabesifazane) ukuthi ubunikazi babo nokubaluleka kwabo kuboniswa ekusebenzeni kwabo ngokocansi.
Lokhu, kuyaqondakala, kungadala izinkinga eziningi ekamelweni lokulala. Njengendlela yokubhekana nakho, amanye amadoda avele akhetha ukugwema ngokuphelele isimo esivusa ukukhathazeka. Ukungaqondi ngokwanele kwesimo nokuphendula kukankosikazi kumane nje kuqinise izinto, ngakho-ke ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuyindlela elungile yokubhekana nalesi sizathu somshado ongenakho ucansi.
4. Inkanuko emsulwa engahlangabezani nempendulo
Ngakolunye uhlangothi lwezinto yisimo lapho abesilisa bezwa khona isifiso sobulili, kepha abahambisani nabalingani babo. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano babo mhlawumbe bobabili babesesigabeni senkanuko. Ngokuqondile, amadoda amaningi kwesinye isikhathi afuna nje ukugxumela ngqo ocansini lwasendle oluphula amathambo ngenxa yenkanuko emsulwa.
Lapho abesifazane bengasiphindiseli isidingo sokuya ocansini, lokhu kungaba ngesinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani ungafuni ucansi.
Futhi abesifazane abaningi ababekelwe lokho, ikakhulukazi ngemuva kweminyaka beshadile nemisebenzi eminingi yansuku zonke nezingcindezi. Ukulungisa le nkinga, nokugwema ezinye eziningi ezisukela ekukhungathekeni kwakhe ngokocansi (njengokugwema ukuya ocansini, okokuqala), zama ukukhuluma ngezidingo zakho ngokusobala. Xoxisanani ngokuthi yini eningayenza ndawonye njengezithandani, futhi njengabantu ngabanye ebudlelwaneni, ukwenza izinto zibe mnandi kakhulu kini nobabili.