-Delile
- 1. Qaphela ukuthi awuwedwa
- 2. Kulungile ukukhuluma ngezocansi nomlingani wakho
- 3. Iya eholidini
- 4. Zama okusha
- 5. Ungesabi ukwelashwa ngocansi
- Yini ongayilindela ekwelashweni ngocansi?
Yikuphi okuza kuqala — inkukhu noma iqanda?
Kunezimpikiswano ezinhle zombili, yingakho inani labantu elihlangene lingavumelani ngakho konke.
Umbuzo ofanayo uqhamuka uma kukhulunywa ngabashadile abanezinkinga zocansi njengoba bekwazi ukubheka izinto ngale ndlela.
Ngabe ucansi lomile lodwa lwaholela ezinkingeni, noma ngabe ezinye izingqinamba zangena ngesinyenyela egumbini lokulala ngenxa yokuthi ukusondelana okwakuthintekile kwakuyini?
Kwesinye isikhathi impendulo yalowo mbuzo kunzima ukuyikhomba. Imishado ihlale inezikhathi zayo ezinzima nezikhathi zayo ezilula.
Lapho sinezikhathi ezilula, izinto zimane zintanta. Ngalezo zikhathi, singathatha kancane. Mhlawumbe sithatha nenani locansi esiluthatha kalula. Kepha-ke, woza izikhathi ezinzima.
Mhlawumbe kunengane entsha ekuxubeni, noma ethuthela edolobheni elisha, noma mhlawumbe umsebenzi omusha noma ukufa emndenini.
Izinga eliphakeme lokucindezeleka isikhathi eside lizosikhipha wonke amandla ethu nokulangazelela impilo. Kwesinye isikhathi, ekupheleni kosuku, kuba sengathi akusekho okusele okunikezwayo.
Umshado wethu nezocansi ziphansi ohlwini olubalulekile. Ukufuna imibono engcono kakhulu yezocansi emibhangqwaneni eshadile akuyona ngisho nohlelo lwezinto okufanele zenziwe.
Ngeshwa, imvamisa sibeka izinkinga zocansi emshadweni kusikhuseli sangemuva. Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lapho singakwenzi kaningi, silahlekelwa yi-libido yethu.
Uma ubhekene nezinkinga ekamelweni lokulala, nazi izeluleko zocansi lokulala nezeluleko zabantu abashadile okufanele bazikhumbule.
1. Qaphela ukuthi awuwedwa
Inani elimangazayo labashadikazi banezinkinga zocansi emshadweni wabo.
Futhi akumangalisi — ucabanga ukuthi ikhona yini indlela yokuthi wonke umuntu oshadile abe nomuzwa ofanayo wobulili? Izinkolelo ezifanayo ngocansi? Izinga elifanayo lokuvimbela? Akunakwenzeka!
Ukusebenza ngokubambisana kulokho okubaluleke ngempela kungaba yingxenye yalokho okwenza umshado ube mkhulu kangaka. Uma sikwazi ukuhlangana ukuxazulula izinkinga, singaba namandla.
Kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu. Ukwenza ucansi kangcono emshadweni kudinga imizamo ephikelelayo. Leso ngesinye sezeluleko ezinhle kakhulu zocansi zomshado ezizokusiza ukulungisa impilo yakho yocansi enciphayo.
Uma ukuntuleka kocansi kuyinkinga, ungomunye wabaningi kulo lonke elase-U.S I-Newsweek , ndawo thile phakathi kwamaphesenti ayi-15 kuya ku-20 emibhangqwana engase ibhekane “nomshado ongacwasi ocansini,” abanye abathi benza ucansi izikhathi ezingaphansi kweziyishumi ngonyaka.
Ngokwesifundo sango-2017, abesilisa abangaphezu kuka-15% kanye nabesifazane abacishe babe ngu-27% babike ukuthi abaya ocansini ngonyaka odlule.
Imbangela yocansi oluncane emshadweni kungaba yizinto eziningi, kufaka phakathi izingqinamba ebudlelwaneni, ezinhlotsheni ezahlukahlukene zokungasebenzi kahle ngokocansi. Ngokuya ngeWebMD, amaphesenti angama-43 abesifazane kanye namaphesenti angama-31 abesilisa banobunzima obuthize bezocansi.
Ngakho-ke, awuwedwa neze. Izindaba zocansi emshadweni zithinta abantu abaningi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungazinonga Kanjani Izinto phezulu ekamelweni lokulala
2. Kulungile ukukhuluma ngezocansi nomlingani wakho
Into ngezocansi ukuthi asingeni imininingwane eminingi ngalo ngaphandle kozakwethu.
Impela, ngesikhathi sokuphuma kwamantombazane, indaba yezinkinga zokulala ingaba setafuleni, kepha imane nje yimigomo ejwayelekile. I-nitty-gritty igcinelwa ikamelo lokulala, njengoba kufanele libe njalo.
Kepha kunemibhangqwana eminingi engakhulumi ngezocansi komunye nomunye. Kuphakathi kokuthi abacabangi ukuthi badinga noma banamahloni.
Isikhathi esiningi abaqiniseki ukuthi kulungile ukukhuluma ngakho, noma abazi kahle ukuthi bangawafaka kanjani amagama emizweni yabo.
“Mhlawumbe ngizoyixuba” noma “Izozixazulula” eminye yemicabango engase ivele ezingqondweni zabanye abantu.
Kepha, kufanele ukhulume ngocansi kaningi. Xoxa ngemibono yocansi yokudala yemibhangqwana eshadile noma ubheke ku-inthanethi ukuthola ezinye izeluleko ezipholile zokwenza uthando emshadweni.
Uma ngabe ushade isikhathi eside futhi isihloko asikaze sivele enkulumweni yakho yomcamelo, mhlawumbe uzizwa uyisilima ukuyiveza manje. Awufuni ukwenza umlingani wakho azizwe kabi noma ukuthi awuneme ngendlela izinto ezihamba ngayo.
Kepha lesi yisifundo esibaluleke kakhulu, futhi asizitholi sivele sitholakale konke. Ngakho-ke akunakulimaza ukukhuluma ngakho — kungasiza kuphela.
Funda kabanzi: Ngabe Abantu Abashadile Benza Kangakanani Ucansi
Uma unenkinga yokwephula iqhwa, thatha incwadi ekhuluma ngocansi nomshado, bese uyifunda embhedeni. Ngokuqinisekile, kuzoba nemibuzo encwadini; ungabuza oshade naye. “Ucabangani ngalo mbuzo s'thandwa sami?”
Akudingeki ukuthi iphele njengengxoxo ende, kepha ekugcineni, kungenzeka. Vele uhlole amanzi kancane uze nobabili nikhululeke ukukhuluma ngawo.
Khumbula, izinkinga zocansi emishadweni zivame kakhulu, futhi akukho lutho wena nomlingani wakho eninamahloni ngakho. Futhi ukukhuluma ngakho kukusiza ngempela ukufinyelela emsukeni wenkinga.
Njengoba ubona, kusiza ubudlelwano bakho; kuzokukhuthaza kuphela ukuthi niqhubeke nixoxe kabanzi ngezocansi phakathi kwenu.
3. Iya eholidini
Ucwaningo lufakazela ukuthi ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho kukusiza ukuthi ujabulele ukusondelana okuthuthukile nabo.
Esinye sezeluleko zocansi ezihamba phambili zemibhangqwana eshadile ukuphula i-monotony bese uthatha uhambo.
Uma kunokuntuleka kwemali yalokho, vele uthathe uhambo olude emva kokudla kwakusihlwa, hlela usuku olude, olukhethekile noma ujabulele isidlo sepikiniki - noma yini enenza nijabule nobabili. Ukukhuluma kuzokuhlanganisa futhi kukwenze ukwazi ukuxhumana ngokujulile.
Nakhu ukuthi kungani izithandani ezihamba ndawonye zihlala ndawonye futhi zibe nobudlelwano obunempilo.
4. Zama okusha
Ubulili basekamelweni lokulala bungaba yisicefe. Ngakho-ke, ungaba kanjani nobulili obungcono emshadweni?
Kubalulekile ukugqashula inkambiso yezocansi ngokuhlola njalo imibono ethokozisayo egxile ocansini olungcono lwemibhangqwana eshadile.
Ngokwenza ucansi olumnandi emshadweni, ungavumeli impilo yakho yezocansi ibhekeke kuwe noma kowakwakho.
Ukuthi ushadile akusho ukuthi ngeke ube nesibindi embhedeni. Xoxa ngezifiso zakho ngokusobala nomlingani wakho, zama izikhundla ezintsha, amathoyizi wezocansi, namaphupho amasha.
Kungasiza futhi ukuzama imibono ehlukahlukene yokulala yemibhangqwana eshadile njalo ngesonto noma ngenyanga ukugcina i-buzz iphila empilweni yakho yezocansi.
5. Ungesabi ukwelashwa ngocansi
Uma kunezinkinga zocansi emshadweni wakho futhi nobabili aninasiqiniseko sokuthi nenzeni, enye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu eningayenza ukuya kumelaphi wezocansi noma womshado.
Akukho okumele ukwesabe uma kuziwa ekwelashweni ngocansi. Ngokwethembeka, lokhu kunguwe nomlingani wakho eniya kumelaphi futhi niyakhuluma. Yilokho kuphela.
Ngenkathi ukuxoxa ngale ndaba ethile kungaba nzima ekuqaleni-khumbula ukuthi umelaphi wakho usebenza nemibhangqwana eminingi enezinkinga ezifanayo. Maduze ukuthembeka kwabo kuzoqabula njengoba nobabili nivula imizwa yenu. Kuzozizwa kukhululeka kakhulu, empeleni.
Eminyakeni eminingana edlule, ukwelashwa kuye kwaba kuncipha kakhulu futhi kwamukelwa kabanzi.
Kujwayelekile ukuthi abantu abadala bafune usizo kumelaphi othile. Vele, lokho kufaka zonke izinhlobo zezinkinga, kufaka phakathi izingqinamba zobudlelwano. Noma kunjalo, kukhombisa into eyodwa enkulu — ukuthi abantu abaningi bathembele osizweni lochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo.
Yini ongayilindela ekwelashweni ngocansi?
Vele, lokho kuncike kumelaphi, kepha ngokujwayelekile, ulapho ukuthola izeluleko eziwusizo zocansi zempilo yomshado ejabulisayo futhi nixoxe ngezinkinga zakho zobudlelwano.
Kwesinye isikhathi awunasiqiniseko sokuthi iyini imbangela yakho — uma kunjalo, umelaphi uzozama ukukusiza ukuthi uyiqonde — nangezinye izikhathi, uyazi ukuthi yini, kodwa awukwazi ukudlula kuyo.
Ukukhuluma ngakho nomelaphi kuzokusiza, futhi oshade naye afinyelele ekuqondeni okungcono futhi ngethemba lokuthi uzothuthukisa imicabango nezinkolelo zakho ngocansi.
Inhloso enkulu ukusiza ulwazi lwakho lwezocansi nomlingani wakho ngosizo lwemibono yocansi yemibhangqwana eshadile nokuqonda ngocansi olungcono emshadweni.
Khumbula, ukuya ocansini akufanele kube ukugijimela nje ngokomzimba, kodwa ukuxhumana okuthembekile, okunothando. Ngaphandle kobudlelwano obudlalayo, obunothando, ubulili buba enye ingxoxo elahlekelwa umbono wayo, engalimaza ubudlelwano bakho.
Lezi ngezinye zezeluleko ezingcono kakhulu zocansi emibhangqwaneni eshadile futhi zingakusiza ngempela wena nomlingani wakho ukuthi nibuyise ukuthakazelisa nenjabulo embusweni wenu wezocansi enake nahlangabezana nawo.