-Delile
- Enye yezinto okunzima kakhulu ukuthi owesifazane akwenze ukudedela
- Ngakho-ke, KUNGANI uqhubeka nokubamba ngemuva kokuthi ubuhlobo sebuphelile?
Lapho ubuhlobo bakho buphela, uzizwa sengathi ushayiswe yiloli futhi washiya nomgodi enhliziyweni yakho. Amafindo esiswini sakho awachazeki, awukwazi ukudla, awukwazi ukulala, unenkinga enzima yokugxila, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke unemibuzo eminingi:
KUNGANI? Kungani mina? Kungani enze lokhu kimi? Kungani ahamba? Yini engalungile ngami? Ngenzeni? Bengingameneli yini?
Kunobunye ubudlelwano obukushiya ubambe ongezansi izinsuku eziningi ngemuva kokuthi buphelile, bese kuba khona obunye ubudlelwano obuzokwenza ukuthi ubuze, ngabe yini engalungile emhlabeni ngami, ngemuva kokuthi iphelile; bese kuba khona lobo budlelwano obukushiya ungawuvali umlomo, ungenathemba, futhi ukhathazekile ngokuthi ungaphinde uthande futhi.
Akunandaba ukuthi wazizwa kanjani lapho ubuhlobo bakho buphela, iqiniso ukuthi, kwakungukukhetha kwakhe. Ukukhetha kwakhe ukushiya, ukukhetha kwakhe ukukopela, ukukhetha ukushada nomunye umuntu, nokukhetha kwakhe ukwenza zonke izinto azenzile, futhi akukho lutho obungakwenza obekungamvimba ekukulimazeni, ekukhohliseni, ekukhetheni umuntu ngaphandle kwalokho, ngokushada nomunye umuntu, noma ngokuhamba.
Awunacala ngezenzo noma ngokuziphatha kwakhe, kepha ubophezelekile kokwakho. Unesibopho sendlela okhetha ukusibona ngayo isimo, unesibopho sokuthi uzomamukela yini noma cha, ubhekene nokuthi uzovumela noma cha ukuthi kwenzeke okwenzekayo kushintshe indlela obheka ngayo amadoda, futhi unesibopho sokuthi ngabe noma cha uzodedela uqhubeke.
Enye yezinto okunzima kakhulu ukuthi owesifazane akwenze ukudedela
Kunzima ukusuka endodeni owesifazane abecabanga ukuthi kuzoba yinkosana yakhe, kuze kube phakade, noma kuye yedwa. Noma sekuphele iminyaka uphathwa kabi, uthathwa kalula, usetshenziswa futhi uyahlukunyezwa, futhi waqanjelwa amanga, kuqala kanzima ukuyeka ukudlulela phambili.
Ngiyaye ngizibuze ukuthi, kuthiwani ngathi, kungani siqhubeka nokuhlala, kungani siqhubeka nokwamukela amanga nenkohliso sikubize ngothando bese kuthi lapho ubuhlobo buphela sihlukane phakathi. Esikhundleni sokujabula ngokuthi akusamele sibhekane nomdlalo weshashalazi, siphatheke kabi ngoba uhambe wazama ngasese ukuthola ukuthi uzombuyisa kanjani futhi uhleli ekhaya ecabanga ukuthi uzoshaya ucingo noma uthumele umqhafazo.
Ngakho-ke, KUNGANI uqhubeka nokubamba ngemuva kokuthi ubuhlobo sebuphelile?
Ngingakuphendula lokho, ngoba bengikhona, futhi isizathu yingoba awukadedeli ngokuphelele futhi awukamnqobi.
Nazi izindlela eziyisithupha eziqinisekile zokukusiza ukuthi udedele, umhlule, bese uqhubeka:
- Bhala incwadi ethi Ngikhetha Ukukuvumela Uhambe, kodwa ungayithumeli. Encwadini, zwakalisa ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, zwakalisa ukulimala kwakho, zwakalisa ubuhlungu bakho, zwakalisa intukuthelo yakho, futhi usho konke ofuna ukukusho, ucabange ukukusho, futhi ufise sengathi ngabe wakusho ngesikhathi usathandana, futhi ukhiphe konke ohlelweni lwakho. Yibe usuklebhula izinhlamvu zibe izingcezu ezincane kakhulu, ufake izingcezu ezincane esikhwameni, uvale isikhwama, usifake emanzini, bese usilahla.
- Susa zonke izinombolo zakhe kuwo wonke amaselula wakho, susa onke amakheli akhe e-imeyili, susa onke ama-imeyili akhe ebhokisini lakho lokungenayo, ibhokisi elithunyelwe, ibhokisi elingenamsoco, okusalungiswa, ibhokisi lodoti, nezinqolobane zomlando, bese uzikhipha kuye kuye kuzo zonke izindawo zokuxhumana.
- Susa zonke izinto zakhe ekhaya lakho nakho konke okukukhumbuza ngaye. Dedela izingubo, izincwadi, izipho, umculo, amakhandlela, ubucwebe, amajenali lapho ubhale khona ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho naye (ngaphandle kokuthi uzokusebenzisa ukubhala incwadi), nezinto azishiye endlini yakho okungezakhe abangane.
- Thatha indawo yakho yokudlela oyithandayo, thenga izinto ZAKHO ozithandayo esitolo, hamba uye endaweni oyithandayo, hlela kabusha ikhaya lakho ngendlela oyifunayo, gqoka imibala YAKHO oyithandayo, ushise ikhandlela LAKHO olithandayo, futhi ugqoke izinwele ZAKHO ngendlela ofuna ngayo.
- Beka inombolo yakhe kogaxekile futhi wenqabe ngokuzenzakalela, uma kwenzeka ethatha isinqumo sokushaya futhi.
- Ungakhohlwa ukuthi kungani ubuhlobo buphelile, nokuthi udlule kuphi. Isipiliyoni nguthisha ongcono kunabo bonke, ngakho-ke zibeke esimeni sokudlula kulokho osudlule kukho futhi, ungazenzeli umjikelezo futhi ungaphindi imikhuba emibi yobudlelwano.
Lapho ubudlelwano buphela, impilo ingabonakala ngathi iphela ngabo futhi ingaba yinto ebhubhisayo. Kuzothatha isikhashana ukudlula; kodwa ngesikhathi esithile, injabulo yakho izobuya, uphinde uthokoze, futhi uqhubeke nempilo. Zinike isikhathi sokudlula kukho, futhi umelane nesifiso sokubuyela emuva.