-Delile
- Qala kabusha umshado wakho ngokubuza imibuzo enengqondo
- Dlulisa ubuhlungu nobuhlungu besikhathi esedlule
- Funda izilimi zothando
- Thatha umthwalo wenjabulo yakho
Imibhangqwana eshadile kwesinye isikhathi ifinyelela esigabeni lapho bengasazizwa bethandana khona. Umlingani oyedwa angawa ngokungazelelwe othandweni, noma abashadikazi bangafika kancane kodwa nakanjani bafinyelele lapho kungekho thando, kungekho thando nomuzwa wobunye osuhambile. Lokhu kungaba yinto eshaqisayo emibhangqwaneni eminingi njengoba iningi labo liqale ngokuthandana ngokujulile, futhi lingakwazi ukucabanga ngezimpilo zalo ngaphandle komunye nomunye.
Eqinisweni, imishado eminingi ifinyelela esigabeni "esingenaluthando" futhi kunabalingani abaningi laphaya abacabanga ukuthi: "Okwamanje, angisamthandi owakwami". Uma ucabanga kanjena ungahle ube nomuzwa wokuthi umshado wakho ukukwenza ube lusizi. Lesi akusona isigaba okulula ukuthi ube kuso kodwa ngenhlanhla kukhona izixazululo ezimbalwa esimweni sakho esibonakala “singenathemba”.
Qala kabusha umshado wakho ngokubuza imibuzo enengqondo
Ngezikhathi ezithile bonke ubudlelwano bethu, ikakhulukazi imishado yethu, badinga ithuba lokuqalisa kabusha. Sidinga ukwakha nokubamba isikhala lapho singabhekana nakho konke ukudabuka okuqoqiwe, ukulahlekelwa, ukulimala nokunganakwa okwadalwa ngokwabelana ngempilo yethu nabanye.
Indlela engcono yokufeza lokhu ukuchitha amahora ambalwa esimweni esimnandi, esisondelene, ngokwesibonelo usuku lwedina ekhaya, ngenkathi uhlanganyela engxoxweni ejulile nenenjongo. Akwanele nje ukudla ukudla okumnandi nokukhuluma nganoma yini. Ingxoxo kufanele ifake eminye imibuzo ebalulekile ezokusiza ukuthi uqale kabusha uthando lwakho futhi ikweseke ukuze uyeke ukuzizwa ulusizi emshadweni wakho.
Nazi iziphakamiso ezimbalwa zale mibuzo:
- Yini engingayenza ukukusekela kangcono empilweni yakho?
- Ngabe kukhona engikwenzile evikini / enyangeni edlule okudale kabuhlungu ngingazi ngakho?
- Yini engingayenza noma engiyisho kuwe uma ubuya emsebenzini evela emsebenzini ezokwenza uzizwe ukuthi uyathandwa futhi uyakhathalelwa?
- Uzizwa kanjani ngempilo yethu yezocansi muva nje?
- Ucabanga ukuthi iyiphi indlela engcono yokwenza ngcono imishado yethu?
Kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abalingani bathole ukubuza nokuphendula le mibuzo ngokuthembeka nangokuvuleleka. Umshado onenkinga awukwazi "ukulungiswa" ngomzamo womlingani oyedwa kuphela.
Dlulisa ubuhlungu nobuhlungu besikhathi esedlule
Ngaphandle kokuzimisela ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezizwakalayo nokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo womuntu siqu ukuthuthukisa umshado wakho, kuzodingeka futhi uthathe igxathu elibalulekile ekukhululeni nasekuyekeni konke ubuhlungu obudlule obudalwe ngumshado wakho.
Ukuqongelela ukunganaki, intukuthelo nokusolwa kuzokugcina unamathele osizini lwakho futhi kuzovimba futhi kulimaze noma imuphi umzamo ohlangothini lowakwakho wokwenza izinto zibe ngcono. Ukudlulisa okwedlule kufaka phakathi into yokuthethelelwa wena nabanye ngakho-ke kufanele uzimisele ukuthi uxole, uxole futhi uxolelwe.
Uma lokhu kuzwakala kukhungathekisa futhi kuyindida, ungaqala ukufunda ukuvumela umkhuba omnene "wokuzindla ngokuxolela". Ku-YouTube, ungathola izikhathi zokuzindla eziqondisiwe ezisekela ukuthethelelwa, futhi zikhululekile ngokuphelele.
Funda izilimi zothando
Esinye sezizathu esenza ukuthi uzizwe sengathi umlingani wakho akakuthandi kungenzeka ukuthi kungenxa yomehluko ezilimini zothando “ozikhulumayo”.
Ngokusho kombhali wencwadi ethi "The Five Love Languages: How to Expressfitfitititfititittenfittenment to Your Mate," kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene esincamela ukunika nokwamukela uthando. Uma indlela esifuna ukuthola ngayo uthando kungeyona leyo esetshenziswa umlingani wethu ukuze asinikeze yona, kungenzeka ukuthi sibhekene necala elibucayi "lolimi lokungafani kolimi". Lokhu akusho ukuthi uthando alukho. Kusho nje ukuthi "ilahlekile ekuhumusheni".
Izilimi ezinhlanu zothando iningi lethu elikhulumayo yilezi ezilandelayo:
- Ukunikezwa kwezipho,
- Isikhathi sekhwalithi,
- Amagama okuvuma,
- Izenzo zenkonzo (ukuzinikela),
- Ukuthinta ngokomzimba
Kukithi ukuthola ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kithina kanye nozakwethu uma kuziwa ekukhombiseni uthando futhi senze umzamo wokunikeza nokwamukela uthando "ngokufanele" ukuze silulame ekuhlukanisweni nasosizini.
Thatha umthwalo wenjabulo yakho
Injabulo iwumphumela hhayi inhloso yomshado. Ingxenye ekhohlisayo ukuthi sibambeka ekuphishekeleni injabulo futhi sivame ukusola thina ngokwethu ngokukhetha okungalungile kokushada nabalingani bethu kwasekuqaleni. Noma sisola umlingani wethu ngokungabi ngendlela esifuna abe yiyo.
Uma singeneme sithambekele ekukwenzeni kube iphutha lomunye umuntu. Akuvamile ukuthi sime futhi sibheke emuva kulokho ebesikulindele ngomshado nabalingani bethu okusiholela ekubeni sishade futhi sibe lusizi.
Sidinga ukuthatha isinyathelo sibuyele emuva kulokho futhi sibone ukuthi yini into elandelayo engcono kakhulu esingayenza ukuze sinqobe ukuphoxeka kwethu futhi sifunde emaphutheni ethu ukuze sisindise ubudlelwano bethu obudonsa kanzima.