-Delile
- Izinhlobo ezahlukene zokungathembeki emshadweni
- Okukholwa yizinkantolo
- Isikhathi sejele nemiphumela yezomthetho yokukopela
- Ukufakazela ukuphinga
- Ukukhetha ukulandela isehlukaniso esinephutha
- Ukuziphatha kwakho kubalulekile
- Khuluma nommeli wakho
Ukukopela kuyisimo esibuhlungu esingaqaqa umshado. Ukungathembeki emshadweni akukwazi ukuhlala ndawonye nemiphumela yokuzijabulisa emshadweni imvamisa kuholela ekulimaleni okungenakulungiswa kwesibopho sothando.
Ulayini ochaza ukukopela ucace bha emqondweni wakho, kepha lokho okubona njengokungathembeki emshadweni noma othandweni kungenzeka kungaziwa uhlelo lwezomthetho.
Ngakho-ke yini eyenza indaba?
Ukuthandana kungukuthandana, ukuthandana, ukuthanda noma ukunamathela okuqinile phakathi kwabantu ababili, ngaphandle kokuthi omunye wabalingani bomuntu azi.
Kuwufanele yini ukufaka isicelo sesehlukaniso ngezizathu zokuphinga? Ukwazi izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokungathembeki, nokuthi umthetho uzibona kanjani kubalulekile, ikakhulukazi uma uhlukanisa ngokomthetho nomlingani wakho noma ucabanga ukuthola isehlukaniso.
Lapho ugcwalisa amaphepha esehlukaniso, kuzofanela usho ukuthi ngabe ufaka isicelo sesehlukaniso "esinamaphutha" noma "esingenaphutha". Lesi sigaba sizokucela ukuthi ubone ukuthi ngabe niyahlukana yini ngoba anisafuni ukushada, noma ngenxa yokuphinga, ukuboshwa, ukushiya noma ukuhlukumeza.
Nakhu konke odinga ukukwazi mayelana nokukopela okuchazwe nguhulumeni nokuthi umthetho uthini ngomlingani wakho ongathembekile nokuthi yini ukukopela emshadweni okubizwa ngokomthetho.
Izinhlobo ezahlukene zokungathembeki emshadweni
Kuyini ukukopela emshadweni?
Njengendoda noma owesifazane oshadile, ungavuma ukuthi ukuya ocansini kungena ekukopeleni. Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi uyavuma ukuthi ngeke ukhululeke uma uphathina wakho enikeza noma ethola ucansi lomlomo noma lwangasese komunye umuntu. Lokhu futhi ukukopela.
Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo emshadweni kungenye indlela imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile eyibheka njengendlela yokukopela. Lokhu kwenzeka uma kungekho lutho olukhona ngokomzimba, kepha ubudlelwano obungokomzwelo nomuntu ongaphandle komshado buqhubekile futhi kwagcinwa kuyimfihlo.
Ngazo zonke lezi zinto ezahlukahlukene zokungathembeki emshadweni, ungahle uzibuze ukuthi yisiphi isici sokukhohlisa izinkantolo esamukelayo ngokusemthethweni njengohlobo lokungathembeki.
Okukholwa yizinkantolo
Yini ebhekwa njengokukopela emshadweni? Uma ubheka incazelo yezomthetho yokungathembeki, umthetho unezincazelo ezihlukile zokuthi yini ukukopela emshadweni.
Uyokujabulela ukwazi ukuthi uhlelo lwezomthetho kulo lonke elase-United States lubheka izindaba zomzimba nezingokomzwelo njengezivumelekile, kufaka phakathi ukusetshenziswa kwezinkundla zokuxhumana noma i-cyberpace ukwenza ucansi.
Ngabe kunendaba yini ukuthi yikuphi ukungathembeki emshadweni ngokusemthethweni? Yini ebhekwa njengokungathembeki? Igama elisemthethweni lokukopela oshade naye livame ukubizwa ngokuthi ukuphinga.
Ubudlelwano bokuzithandela obusungulwa phakathi komuntu oshadile nomuntu ongeyena umlingani womuntu oshadile ngaphandle komlingani azi.
Ngenkathi izinkantolo zizobheka zonke izici nezinhlangothi zesizathu sokuqedwa komshado, ngeke kube nomthelela endleleni abakhetha ngayo ukuhlukanisa izimpahla, isondlo sezingane, noma ukuvakashelwa.
Isikhathi sejele nemiphumela yezomthetho yokukopela
Kholwa noma ungakukholwa, ungafaka umlingani wakho okopelayo enkingeni nomthetho ngokungathembeki noma ukwenza ukungathembeki emshadweni. Ngempela, kunezifundazwe eziningi ezisenayo "imithetho yokuphinga" ethi noma ngubani obanjwa enza ucansi nomuntu ongashadile naye angajeziswa ngumthetho.
E-Arizona, ukukopela oshade naye kuthathwa njengokungeyikho kwesigaba 3 futhi kungathola umlingani wakho wokukopela nesithandwa sakhe izinsuku ezingama-30 ejele. Ngokunjalo, iKansas ithola ukuhlangana kowesifazane nowesifazane ngaphandle komyeni noma unkosikazi wakho ukuthi bajeziswe isikhathi sasejele kanye nenhlawulo engu- $ 500.
Uma uhlala e-Illinois futhi ufuna ngempela ukujezisa umlingani wakho, ungathola ukuthi umuntu okopelayo nomthandi wakhe baphonswe ejele isikhathi esingangonyaka (kuze kube yiminyaka emithathu ejele ngenhlawulo engu- $ 500 uma uhlala eMassachusetts!)
Ekugcineni, uma uhlala eWisconsin futhi ubanjwa ukopela ungabhekana neminyaka emithathu ejele futhi ungahlawuliswa u- $ 10,000.
Uma lezi zinhlawulo zingenabo ubufakazi obanele bokuthi uhlelo lwezomthetho lunokuthile elikushoyo ngokukopela.
Ukufakazela ukuphinga
Ukufunda ukuthi yini eyenza ukungathembeki emshadweni ngokusemthethweni kubalulekile uma ukhuluma nommeli wakho futhi udlulisela lolu daba enkantolo.
Izinkantolo zidinga ukuthi ube nohlobo oluthile lobufakazi bokuthi ukuphinga kwenzeke:
- Uma unamarisidi ehhotela, izitatimende zekhadi lesikweletu, noma ubufakazi obuvela kumphenyi wangasese.
- Uma oshade naye ezimisele ukukuvuma
- Uma unezithombe, izithombe-skrini ezivela kumafoni, imiyalezo, noma ukuxhumana nomphakathi okufakazela ukungathembeki okwenzekile
Uma ungenabo ubufakazi obunjalo, kungaba nzima ukufakazela icala lakho.
Ukukhetha ukulandela isehlukaniso esinephutha
Kuwukuhlakanipha ukucabanga isikhathi eside nangokunzima ngokuthi uyafuna yini ukwenza "iphutha lokuhlukanisa" nowawushade naye.
Ukufakazela ukuthi into eyenzekile enkantolo kuzodinga isikhathi nemali eyengeziwe. Ungadinga ukuqasha umphenyi wangasese bese uchitha isikhathi esengeziwe nezindleko kwizimali zabameli ukufakazela ukungathembeki emshadweni. Kungumsebenzi obiza kakhulu ongase ungakusebenzeli.
Ukukhuluma ngokungathembeki emshadweni nakho kuyangasese futhi kuyihlazo ukuxoxa ngakho enkantolo evulekile. Ummeli we-ex yakho naye angahlasela isimilo sakho nokuziphatha okwedlule, adonsele obala izinkinga zakho zomuntu siqu nezomshado.
Kwabanye, ukufakazela ukuthi bathandana kwenzeka noma ukufaka izingubo zabo ezingcolile endlini yenkantolo kwenza ukufuna iphutha lesehlukaniso kungawufanele umzamo, ezezimali nobuhlungu. Kodwa-ke, isimo sakho noma izimo zakho zingadala ukuthi izinkantolo zithathe ukuphinga lapho zinquma ngokuhlukaniswa kwempahla noma ukukhokha imali yesondlo.
Ukuziphatha kwakho kubalulekile
Ukukhohlisa imibhangqwana, qaphela! Uma uhambisa umlingani wakho enkantolo ukuze athole "isehlukaniso esenziwa ngamacala", kufanele ubheke nokuziphatha kwakho ebudlelwaneni bakho. Isibonelo, uma unkosikazi ethola ukuthi umyeni wakhe ubengathembekile futhi ekopela ngokuziphindiselela, lokhu kungasusa isikhalazo sakhe esisemthethweni sokungathembeki.
Uma bobabili abashadile bekhohlisile emshadweni, isimangalo sokukhuza noma sokuhlangana sizobuzwa.
Khuluma nommeli wakho
Ngaphambi kokuphishekela ukuhlukaniswa noma ukwehlukaniswa ngokomthetho, kufanele ukhulume nommeli wakho mayelana nokuthi yini ngokusemthethweni ekuthembekeni emshadweni esifundazweni sakho, esifundazweni noma ezweni lakho.
Eminye imibuzo okufanele uyikhumbule lapho ukhuluma nommeli wakho yilena: Ngabe ubufakazi bokuphinga buzowuthinta umphumela wedivosi yami ezimweni ezinjengokondla izingane, ukwahlukaniswa kwempahla, noma ilungelo lokugcina izingane?
Yini ezoba ubufakazi obungcono bokungathembeki ukuze unqobe icala lami?
Kungenzeka yini ukushintsha umqondo wami ngezizathu zesehlukaniso ngemuva kokufaka?
Ngabe kuzolimaza icala lami uma nami bengingathembekile ngemuva kwendaba yomlingani wami noma ngaphambili emshadweni wethu?
Kuwukuhlakanipha ukubonisana nommeli mayelana nokuphinga emshadweni wakho ngaphambi kokufaka isicelo sesehlukaniso noma ukwehlukana. Ngale ndlela uzokwazi ukuthatha izinyathelo ezinhle zokuqinisekisa icala lakho ngaphambi kokuthi uphume ekhaya lakho lomshado.
Udinga ukwazi ukuthi yini ngokusemthethweni ekuthembekeni emshadweni uma uhlela ukufaka "iphutha-isehlukaniso". Khumbula ukuthi yize kungazwakala kuyinkathazo ukuba nezinkantolo zikuhlanganyele nokungathembeki komlingani wakho emshadweni, ukwahlukanisa amaphutha kuvame ukubiza kakhulu futhi kukhokhiswe ngokomzwelo kunesehlukaniso esijwayelekile.