-Delile
Fait accompli
"Into esivele yenzekile noma esinqunyiwe ngaphambi kokuthi labo abathintekayo bezwe ngayo, okubashiya bengenayo enye indlela ngaphandle kokuyamukela."
Kukhona isikhala esingathinteka phakathi kwegama lokuqala lokudalula kanye / noma ukutholakala kanye nokuqala kwenkinga yokungathembeki emshadweni. Lokhu akwenzeki kulowo okhashelwe kuphela kodwa nakulowo okhohlisile.
Yileso sikhathi lapho impilo, njengalezi zithandani, imisiwe khona. Noma ikuphi ukunyakaza noma isenzo esibonakala senza umbhangqwana ube nomuzwa wokuthi yonke into izobhidlika noma iwe.
Kukhona ukuhlanya kwemizwa nemicabango elandela ukutholakala kokungathembeki emshadweni:
- Kwenzekani? Yini okudingeka yenzeke?
- Bangobani, noma bayoba ngobani ngesikhathi / ngemuva kokudalulwa nokwenza izinto obala.
- Ngabe sizodlula kulokhu? Ngabe ngifuna ukudlula noma ngihambe?
Yilapho lapho khona okwenzeka esikhathini esedlule, samanje, nekusasa kuqubuka ndawonye ngenxa yemibuzo ethile:
- Lokhu kuqale kanjani / angazi ukuthi kuqale kanjani lokhu. (Esidlule)
- Usambona lo muntu? Ungubani lo muntu? (Okwamanje)
- Kusho ukuthini lokhu ngomshado wethu lapha ngaphandle? Ngabe uzongishiya / uzohlukanisa nami? (Ikusasa)
Ukuqala kwalezi zinhlobo zemibuzo kugcizelela bobabili indoda nomfazi ukuthi fait accompli ungene emshadweni wabo, emndenini wabo, futhi kuphazamise ukulindela kwabo “ngenjabulo njalo.”
Ukukopela emshadweni noma ukukopela ebudlelwaneni kuyinto enzima kunoma yimuphi umbhangqwana othintekayo ongawubekezelela. Kungazizwa kungabekezeleleki sengathi kubonakala sengathi ukuphela komhlaba.
Noma kunjalo, i-fait accompli ingaba ukuphela komshado wakudala futhi, uma umbhangqwana ufuna ukubuyiselwa, ukuqala komunye omusha.
Njengombhangqwana noma umuntu ngamunye, umuntu angayisebenzisa kanjani indlela ye- fait accompli Lokungathembeki emshadweni? Yibuphi ubunzima ekubhekaneni nokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni?
Yimuphi umbuzo owodwa odinga ukubuzwa ukwazi ngalesi sikhathi ukuqonda kangcono ukuthi ukuphi kulesi sigaba sokuqala sokungathembeki emshadweni?
Omunye wemibuzo emikhulu futhi ephathelene nomhlanganyeli ngamunye endabeni yokukhaphela uvame ukubuza: Kusho ukuthini ukungathembeki?
Njengoba izithandani, umuntu ngamunye, kanye nomlingani othandana naye beveza ingxenye abayidlalayo, baqala nokuchaza nokuhumusha izenzo zokungathembeki emshadweni ukuze basindise umshado, bachithe umshado / umcimbi, futhi babone ukuthi yini enye nomunye izindima zisendabeni yokukhaphela / yomshado.
Ukungathembeki emshadweni
Lapho ukungathembeki kuphazamisa umshado, isidingo sokuqonda izici zokukhaphela nokuthi kubangele kanjani ukuguqulwa kobudlelwano besivumelwano siba ngumcabango ovelele wesikhashana ngomzuzu empilweni yabo yansuku zonke.
Umbhangqwana othintekile ulwela ukuchaza noma ukuthola ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukungathembeki, nokufunda ngokwazi ukuthi kungani kungaba yinkinga.
Abantu banencazelo yabo yokuthi kuyini ukungathembeki noma ukuthi kungaba yini okungashukumisela izithandani nabalingani abathandana nabo ukuthi bathethelele ngokungafanele, banciphise, noma babele ukuthi yikuphi ukukhaphela okunembile.
Izikhathi eziningi, abantu bazokholelwa ukuthi Ukungathembeki emshadweni kungukuthatha isenzo esiphelele-okudala ukungaboni ngaso linye kokuqala kanye nokudideka kwabo bobabili abashadile, abathandana nabo, kanye nomphakathi wonkana.
Ngokwesichazamazwi, Ukungathembeki siqukethe:
- Ukungathembeki emshadweni; ukuphinga.
- Ukungathembeki.
- Ukwephula ukwethenjwa; ukweqa umthetho
- Ukuntula ukholo noma ukuqina, ikakhulukazi ukungathembeki kwezocansi
- Ukungabi nenkolo; ukungakholwa
- Isenzo noma isibonelo sokungathembeki
Isigaba esilandelayo sinikeza uhlu oluphelele lwalokho okubhekwa njengokungathembeki, njengoba kusikiselwe nguDave Willis, umfundisi, umbhali, kanye nesikhulumi ngempilo yomshado.
Izinhlobo eziyi-12 Zokungathembeki emshadweni
- Ufihla iqiniso lokuthi ushadile — ukuqagela “kokutholakala” (ukudlala ngothando, ukususa indandatho yomshado, ukudlala ungashadile).
- Ukwethembeka okuyisisekelo kothile noma kokunye ngaphandle koshade naye.
- I-Porn, i-erotica, kanye namanoveli wezothando. Ukulingisa amaphupho ezocansi ngaphandle komlingani (Ukungathembeki kwengqondo). Konke ukusondelana kweqiniso nakho konke ukungathembeki kuqala engqondweni.
- Ukuhlola abanye abantu.
- Ukugcina izimfihlo zoshade naye
- Ukusongela isehlukaniso
- Izindaba Ezingokomzwelo — ukusondelana ngokomzwelo + imfihlo + yezobulili (Qaphela: Ngizofaka ukungathembeki kwe-cyber njengesengezo sezindaba ezingokomzwelo-ukuxhumana kwezokuxhumana nabantu, imidlalo yokulingisa yeSecond Life)
- Ukwenqaba ukuvuma iphutha noma ukuxolisa ngobuqotho
- Ukungabonakali lapho oshade naye efuna ukuthi ugodle usizo
- Ukuzama “ukuwina” ingxabano nowakwakho — uzama ukunqoba ngezindleko zoshade naye; uhlobo lokwethembana nokwethembeka (Useqenjini elilodwa)
- Izindaba zocansi (ngazo zonke izinhlobo zocansi / isimilo) -isenzo sokugcina sokwethembana nokwethembeka
- Ukunikezana
Sizoqhubeka nokukhuluma ngale ndaba ngokusebenzisa amagama okuphenya ukuze sihlukanise, sikhombe futhi siqonde ukusebenza kwangaphakathi kokukhaphela emshadweni. Esihlokweni esilandelayo, sizogxila ekutheni ukungathembeki kungena kanjani ebuhlotsheni bomshado.