-Delile
- Yini amandla ebudlelwaneni obunempilo?
- Isilinganiso se-Dynamics yobudlelwano
- Amandla we-5 ebudlelwaneni obunempilo
- Ngabe amandla okushintsha ebudlelwaneni angashintsha?
- Kungani kubalulekile ukuthuthukisa amandla akho obudlelwano?
- Izindlela ezi-5 zokushintsha amandla akho obudlelwano
- Amathiphu okuphatha amandla obudlelwano anselele
- Ukudla okudlela endlini
Indlela esixhumana ngayo futhi sixhumana ngayo nabanye isebenza njengesisekelo sokwakha amandla obudlelwano bethu. Simi noma siziphathe kanjani, amagama esiwasebenzisayo, ubuso bethu ngezinye zezindlela zokuziphatha ezakha amandla ebudlelwaneni.
Kusobala ukuthi amandla obudlelwano adlala indima ebaluleke kakhulu kuzo zonke izinhlelo zenhlalo, ezepolitiki nezomnotho, ngakho-ke ake sijule ngokujulile ukuthi yini enamandla ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nokuthi singabathuthukisa kanjani.
Yini amandla ebudlelwaneni obunempilo?
Amandla obudlelwano bezothando angachazwa njengamaphethini angaguquki wokuxhumana okwenzeka phakathi kwezithandani.
Ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano obunempilo kubandakanya ukulalela lokho umlingani wakho akushoyo, ukuzwakalisa ukubonga nokwazisa ngomlingani wakho, nokuzimisela ukuxolisa kanye nokukhombisa uthando ngokuthinta noma ngamazwi amnandi.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuguquguquka ebudlelwaneni kungaba yimpilo noma kube kubi uma kuhlale kuhilela umlingani oyedwa odala ukusabela okuthukuthele komunye.
Ukuqonda ngokuphelele ukuthi yini eyimisuka yezithandani enempilo, kubalulekile ukuthi ube nokuqonda okuphelele ngamandla wobudlelwano. Ngaphezu kwamaphethini wokusebenzisana ebudlelwaneni, amandla okushintshana afaka izindawo ezahlukahlukene ezithile.
Isilinganiso se-Dynamics yobudlelwano
Lungiselela / Cebisa, uhlelo lokwelulekwa kombhangqwana, lunikeza isilinganiso sezinhlobo zobudlelwano Ukuhlola ukuthi amandla okushada ayaphila yini. Lesi sikali sihlola lezi zindawo ezine ezilandelayo:
- Ukuqiniseka: Le ndawo yokuguquguquka kobudlelwano ihlola ukuthi ngabe umlingani ngamunye uyakwazi yini ukuxhumana nezidingo zakhe futhi ufuna ukwethembeka ngenkathi ehlala enenhlonipho.
- Ukusiqhenya: Le mfanelo ikhuluma ngezinga umuntu azizwa kahle ngalo ngaye futhi agcine umqondo wokulawula impilo yakhe.
- Ukugwema: Uzakwethu othola phezulu kule ngxenye yobudlelwano bezobudlelwano uzothambekela ekunciphiseni ukungaboni ngaso linye futhi enqabe ukubhekana noma alungise ngqo izingxabano ebudlelwaneni.
- Ukubusa kozakwethu: Ekuguqukeni kwezithandani, ukubusa kozakwethu kuchaza ukuthi ngabe umlingani oyedwa ubonakala elawula ubudlelwano noma cha.
I-Relationship Dynamics Scale, ehlola lezi zici ezingenhla, idinga ukuthi amalungu alo mbhangqwana alinganise izitatimende ezahlukahlukene ezilinganisweni ezisuka ku-1 kuye ku-3, lapho u-1 esho ukuthi isimilo senzeka cishe angalokothi ebudlelwaneni, futhi oku-3 okusho ukuthi kwenzeka kaningi .
Isibonelo, isikali sicela umuntu ukuthi alinganise okulandelayo: “Uma sixabana, omunye wethu uyahoxa ... lokho akusafuni ukukhuluma ngakho; noma aphume lapho. ” Ukulinganisa ama-3 ale nto kungaba ukuphakamisa ukugwema, okungadala ubudlelwane obunempilo obunamandla.
Lapho ubudlelwane bunemibhangqwana engenampilo, omunye wozakwethu angahle angenzi lutho noma abe nobunzima bokuveza imicabango noma imizwa yakhe maqondana nobudlelwano. Uzakwethu ongenakho ukuqiniseka phakathi kobuhlobo angafaka imizwa futhi angayinaki ingxabano, futhi akhombise ukugwema.
Ukuguquguquka okungenampilo kungabandakanya nelungu elilodwa lobudlelwano ekwenzeni zonke izinqumo nokuzama ukulawula omunye umlingani. Kwesinye isikhathi, lokhu kungaba ngumphumela wokuthi omunye wabalingani abe nokuzethemba okuphansi.
Akunandaba ukuthi kunamaphi amandla akhethekile, akunampilo noma kunenzuzo ebudlelwaneni uma omunye umlingani ebusa ngenkathi omunye evikela ukungqubuzana futhi enenkinga yokuveza izidingo nemizwa yakhe.
Amandla we-5 ebudlelwaneni obunempilo
Ngenkathi amandla ezithandani angenampilo angafaka ukugwema izingxabano kanye / noma umuntu oyedwa ophethe ubudlelwano, amandla aphilile ebudlelwaneni ahluke ngokuphelele.
Amandla ebudlelwaneni obunempilo afaka umjikelezo omuhle, obonakala ngokuzethemba okuphezulu kanye namazinga amakhulu okuqiniseka. Lokhu kuba ngumjikelezo omuhle, ngoba ukuzethemba okukhulu kuvame ukuholela ekwandeni kokuzethemba.
Lapho bobabili abalingani bezethemba futhi bekhulumisana ngokuqiniseka, ilungu ngalinye lobudlelwano lizokwazi ukuveza izidingo zabo, abakufunayo, kanye nemizwa yabo, okudala amandla aphilile ebudlelwaneni.
Amandla ezithandani ezinempilo afaka namazinga aphansi okubusa nokugwema. Lapho ukuphatha sekuphansi, ubudlelwano buzoba nempilo enhle, ngoba bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni bazozwa ukuthi izidingo zabo zibalulekile, futhi bayakwazi ukuba nezwi ebudlelwaneni.
Lapho ukugwema kuphansi, ukungezwani kuyalungiswa esikhundleni sokukucindezelwa eceleni. Lokhu kuvumela ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokusombulula izingxabano okunempilo, ukuze amagqubu angakheki ebudlelwaneni.
Njengoba i-Prepare / Enrich ichaza, amandla amane ebudlelwaneni ahlobene kakhulu futhi angaholela ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo uma amandla aphilile.
Isibonelo, uma abalingani bethola amaphuzu aphezulu ebudlelwaneni obunamandla bokuqina, abalingani bavame ukuthandana kakhulu futhi baneliseke ngokwengeziwe ngokuxhumana kwabo.
Nazi ezinye zezimpawu ezinhlanu eziphezulu zamandla enempilo ebudlelwaneni:
- Uyakwazi ukuveza obala imicabango yakho, imizwa, nezidingo zakho ngaphandle kokuthukuthela.
- Unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho ukubheka njengolinganayo, futhi futhi ubona umlingani wakho njengalingana nawe.
- Uzizwa kahle ngawe.
- Uyakwazi ukulungisa ukungaboni ngaso linye ngempumelelo futhi ungakugweme ukungqubuzana ukuze ugcine ukuthula.
- Unomuzwa wokuthi imibono yakho, izidingo zakho, kanye nezinto ozifunayo ebudlelwaneni zibaluleke ngendlela efanayo nezomlingani wakho.
Bheka futhi: Izimpawu zokuthi unobudlelwano obungenampilo.
Ngabe amandla okushintsha ebudlelwaneni angashintsha?
Ngisho noma amandla obudlelwano bakho enezici ezingenampilo njengokuphathwa ngophathina noma ukugwema, zingashintsha zibe ngcono. Ochwepheshe babika ukuthi ukuguquguquka kwezithandani kuyafundwa, okusho ukuthi abantu bangafunda nezindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana.
Uma imibhangqwana ibisebenzisa ubudlelwano obungenampilo njengokugwema okuphezulu, bangenza amakhono asiza ubudlelwano babo ukuba bube nempilo.
Isibonelo, ukuzijwayeza ukuqiniseka kungaholela kumjikelezo omuhle wokuxhumana, lapho bobabili abalingani bezethemba kakhulu. Lokhu-ke kunciphisa imijikelezo engemihle, njengokuphathwa kwabalingani nokugwema.
Ungashintsha amandla akho ebudlelwaneni ube ngcono ngokusebenzisa i- Imodeli yokuqinisekisa ye-DESC, Kunconywa yiYale University.Le modeli ifaka lezi zinyathelo ezine ezilandelayo:
D: Chaza inkinga ngomqondo ovulekile. Isibonelo, ungatshela umlingani wakho ukuthi, “Uphakamise izwi lakho wangibiza ngamavila lapho ngingagezanga izitsha.”
E: Veza imizwa yakho mayelana nenkinga. Isibonelo, "Ngesikhathi ungibiza ngegama, ngangizizwa ngingelutho, ngithukwa, futhi ngilahliwe."
S: Cacisa ongathanda kwenzeke ngendlela ehlukile ngokuzayo. Ungase uthi, “Ngokuzayo, ngingathanda uma ungakhuphi izwi lakho futhi ngomoya ophansi usho ukuthi kungasiza uma ngingakugezela izitsha.”
C: Yisho ukuthi yimiphi imiphumela olindele ukuyenzeka uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukuhlonipha isicelo sakho. Lokhu kungahle kubukeke ngathi, “Uma ungakwazi ukukhuluma nami ngaphandle kokumemeza nokubiza ngamagama, kuzosibangela uqhekeko.
Ukuzijwayeza ukusebenzisa leli thuluzi elingenhla kungasiza amandla akho ebuhlotsheni ukuba aguquke, ngakho-ke uxhumana kahle kakhulu phakathi komjikelezo wobudlelwano obuhle. Lokhu kungalungisa amandla obudlelwano obubi afaka amazinga aphezulu okugwema nokubusa kozakwethu.
Kungani kubalulekile ukuthuthukisa amandla akho obudlelwano?
Uma ubhajwe kumjikelezo ongemuhle onamandla angenampilo ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa amandla akho ezithandani. Amandla athuthukisiwe ebudlelwaneni abalulekile ngezizathu eziningana:
- Ukushintsha ubudlelwano bakho bunamandla kungakusiza ukuthi nizwane kangcono.
- Ubudlelwano obunempilo bungavimbela wena nomlingani wakho ekuhlukaniseni noma ekuhlukaneni.
- Amandla ezithuthukisiwe ezithandani angakwenza ujabule futhi waneliseke ngokwengeziwe ngobudlelwano.
- Uzozizwa uzwakala futhi uqondwe kakhulu ngumlingani wakho uma amandla obudlelwano eqondile.
- Ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho obunamandla kungakhulisa ukusondelana.
Izizathu ezinhlanu zokwenza ngcono amandla ebuhlotsheni oboniswe ngenhla zikhonjisiwe ocwaningweni. Isibonelo, isifundo esihlanganyelwe sabaphenyi ku IFlorida State University neYunivesithi yase-Auckland ithole ukuthi izindlela zokuxhumana zingasiza imibhangqwana ukuxazulula izingxabano ngempumelelo.
Isibonelo, kuyasiza ukuthi imibhangqwana isebenzise ukuxhumana ngokubambisana futhi ihlale inothando lapho ixazulula izinkinga ezincane. Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi kubaluleke kanjani ukuguquguquka okunempilo ebudlelwaneni.
Uma amandla obudlelwano engaphilile, kubalulekile ukuwathuthukisa ukuze wena nomlingani wakho nijabule ngendlela enikhulumisana ngayo futhi seneliseke ngezinga lokusondelana ebudlelwaneni benu. Ekugcineni, lokhu kungenza ubudlelwane bakho buqine futhi banelise ngokwengeziwe.
Olunye ucwaningo oluhlanganyelwe lukhuluma ngezinzuzo zamandla obudlelwano obunempilo. Lolu cwaningo luthole ukuthi kokubili ukuzethemba kanye nozwelo kuxhumene namazinga aphezulu okwaneliseka emshadweni. Lokhu kuyaphinda kubalule ukubaluleka kokuba nesimo esihle nenhlonipho ekusebenzisaneni ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ekugcineni, isifundo se-2016 ku Ijenali Yezengqondo ithole ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile evame ukwaneliseka ngobudlelwano babo ingabakhulumeli abaphumelela kakhulu, bathambekele ekuboniseni ukuxhumana okuhle kakhulu nokuxhumana okumbalwa okungekuhle. Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi amandla asempilweni ebudlelwaneni ahamba ibanga elide impela.
Izindlela ezi-5 zokushintsha amandla akho obudlelwano
Uma ufuna ukushintsha amandla akho obudlelwano ukugwema izindlela ezingezinhle zokuxhumana, ukuxhumana okungenampilo, nokuhlukana kobudlelwano, kukhona amasu ongawasebenzisa ukwenza ngcono. Nazi ezinye ezinhlanu eziphezulu:
- Zijwayeze ukuqiniseka usebenzisa ithuluzi le-DESC. Ukwanda kokuqina kubaluleke kakhulu, ngoba kungakusiza ukuthi ubheke umlingani wakho kahle.
- Yenza umzamo wokulalela umlingani wakho. Imibhangqwana eminingi ejabulayo ibika ukuthi abalingani bayo bangabalaleli abahle.
- Yeka ukugwema izingxabano. Ubudlelwano obunamandla bokugwema bungesinye sezikhalazo eziyishumi eziphezulu zabantu abashadile, ngokusho kocwaningo.
- Gwema ukubeka phansi umlingani wakho ngesikhathi sokungezwani. Lokhu kungaholela ekugwemeni okungenampilo kokugwema futhi kuhlotshaniswa nokungajabuli ebudlelwaneni.
- Vulela ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho; imibhangqwana eminingi ebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela ifisa lokhu kubalingani bayo. Ukwabelana ngemizwa kukusiza ukuba ube nokuzethemba futhi uvikele ukugwema ebudlelwaneni.
Ukusebenzisa amasu angenhla kungakusiza ukuthi uphume kumjikelezo omubi ukuze izithandani zakho zibe namandla futhi zibe mancane amathuba okudala ukungeneliseki kobudlelwano.
Amathiphu okuphatha amandla obudlelwano anselele
Uma unenkinga yokuphatha amandla ayinselele ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi amandla okushintsha angahlala eshintsha. Ungazizwa ubhajwe kumjikelezo wokuxhumana okungalungile nomlingani wakho, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuzijwayeza nokubekezela, ungaqhubekela phambili.
Ukubhekana nezimo ezinzima ebudlelwaneni:
- Khuluma nomlingani wakho mayelana nokuthi yini ongathanda ukuyibona iguquka kulowo mbhangqwana onamandla. Khumbula ukugwema ukubeka phansi nokuxhumana ngokuqiniseka. Kubalulekile ukuthi nobabili nibe ekhasini elilodwa futhi nizimisele ukwenza umzamo odingekayo wokushintsha.
- Lapho usuthathe isinqumo sokwenza ushintsho, kuyadingeka futhi ukusinika isikhathi. Ungahle ungaboni ushintsho ngobusuku obubodwa, futhi lokho kulungile. Khumbula, ushintsha indlela yokuziphatha noma imikhuba yokufunda, futhi kungadingeka ukuthi ubekezele umlingani wakho kanye nawe njengoba nifunda izindlela ezintsha zokuxhumana.
Ukudla okudlela endlini
Uma ngabe wenze umzamo wokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi namanje ungaziboni izinguquko ongazithanda, kungaba yisikhathi sokusebenza nomeluleki wabashadikazi ukukusiza ufunde izinhlobo ezintsha zamandla obudlelwano.
Kwesinye isikhathi, umuntu wesithathu ongathathi hlangothi angakusiza ukuxazulula izingqinamba ezinzima kakhulu ukuthi uzisebenzele wedwa.