-Delile
- 1. Iya ekwelashweni
- 2. Nquma izibopho zikayihlo oyindlamlenze
- 3. Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa akuchazi ukuzenyeza kwakho
- 4. Beka imingcele
- 5. Zijwayeze ukwamukela
Ukulimala okungenzeka ku-psyche yakho uma unobaba we-narcissistic kungaba nemiphumela ehlala njalo. Kepha akusho ukuthi le miphumela kufanele ihlale impilo yonke.
Ungaziphilisa futhi uzivikele (futhi ube nemodicum ethile yobudlelwano nobaba wakho we-narcissistic ngokuzayo). Inkinga yokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic, njengoba ucwaningo lubonisa, isiphezulu kakhulu futhi ukubhekana nemiphumela yayo kungaba yinkinga.
Kepha ungakwenza lokho kuphela uma ukhetha ukulungisa umonakalo ozobe wenzekile bese uzijwayeza ukwamukela nokwakha imingcele yakho (ongayihlanganyeli nobaba wakho ukukusiza ukuphatha ubuhlobo bakho naye).
Nayi eminye imibono okufanele uyicabangele uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nabazali abathandanayo, futhi ikakhulukazi uma usudlile futhi ufuna ukufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nobaba oyisidlwangudlwangu:
1. Iya ekwelashweni
Ukwelashwa kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokululama ekuhlukunyezweni ngokuhlukumezeka kanye nokubhekana nomonakalo umuntu ahlangabezane nawo kunoma yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa, kufaka phakathi nomonakalo odalwe ngubaba oyisidlwangudlwangu. Uma ukukhathazeka noma i-PTSD ibonakala njengezimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic, khona-ke hamba ukwelashwa ngazo zonke izindlela futhi ungalibazisi ngokuqhubekayo.
Isikhathi esihle sokwelapha singangena ezindabeni zobuntwana ongakwazanga ukubhekana nazo noma uzivikele kuzo useyingane ngoba ubusemncane kakhulu. Ukwelashwa kungakusiza ukuphinda ubuntwana obulahlekile ngenxa yezidingo ubaba wakho abenazo kuwe.
Ezinye izikhathi zokwelashwa ongangena kuzo ukucabanga.
Ukucabangela, njengokwelashwa, kuzokumema ukuthi ugxile kakhulu manje futhi wamukele okwedlule njengalokho obekuyikho.
Futhi uma usuhlakulele ukukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni bakho nobaba wakho we-narcissistic (okungenzeka ulethwe yimizwa ongeke ufinyelele kubo) ukucabanga kungakusiza ukuphatha lezi zinkinga.
Akukaze kube buhlungu ukungena ekwelashweni ngokusinda kumuntu osebenzisa izidakamizwa. Ukufunda ukwenza ukwamukelwa kuyikhono elibalulekile lempilo elizokusiza kahle, hhayi nje maqondana nobudlelwano bakho nobaba wakho ongumlwelwe kodwa kuzo zonke izici zempilo yakho nekusasa lakho.
Buka incazelo kadokotela wezengqondo uRamani Durvasula ngoyise beNarcissistic kanye nezeluleko zakhe zokuthi ungakunqoba kanjani ukuhlukunyezwa ngokweqile.
2. Nquma izibopho zikayihlo oyindlamlenze
Uma usukhulile, manje unamandla okuzisekela nokuzinakekela. Ubaba wakho ongumlingisi ngeke ashintshe, ungakhetha ukunquma ngokuphelele ubuhlobo kuye uma eba nokuhlukumeza nobuthi.
Okungenani ungakwenza lokho uze ufunde ukumamukela njengoba enjalo futhi uzivikele ekuhlaselweni ukuthambekela kukababa wobudlwangudlwangu.
Khumbula ubaba othanda ukukhwabanisa, njengabo bonke abakwa-narcissists, sebenzisa futhi usebenzise abanye abantu ukuze bathole abakufunayo. Ukuba nengane kusho ukuthi bangangeza izingane zabo "ezintweni eziyigugu" ezizosiza ekuchazeni nasekukhuliseni ukuzihlonipha kwabo.
Ubaba we-narcissistic uzothanda ingane (noma izingane) ezomlethela inkazimulo ngoba, kuyise ongathandeki, izingane ziyizandiso zazo. Futhi lokhu kungakudabukisa.
Uzodinga ukuqonda kahle leli phethini futhi uphathe okulindelwe kuYihlo futhi uzivikele emiphumeleni yobudlova bakhe uma ufuna ukumgcina empilweni yakho. Ngaphandle kwalokho ukusika izibopho kuzoba yindlela engcono yokuzivikela.
3. Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa akuchazi ukuzenyeza kwakho
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwabo kungumphumela wokuba nenkinga yobuntu obuthakathaka. Abantu abaningi abaye babhekana nokuhlukunyezwa benze iphutha lokuvumela abahlukumezekile noma abahlukumezi babo ukuthi bazinqumele ukuzihlonipha kwabo.
Ukubopha ukuhlukumezeka kwakheka ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okukhulu kwemizwa okuvame ukuba nomuntu onobuthi. Ngenxa yesibopho sokuhlukumezeka, siboshwe ngokomzwelo. Kuqiniswe ukuqiniswa okuvela ngezikhathi ezithile njengokuqhuma kwamabhomu ngezikhathi ezithile.
Ukuhlangabezana nesibopho sokuhlukumezeka kuyingozi futhi kunzima ukusuka kukho, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangabezana nalolu hlobo lwesibopho nobaba wakho ongumlingisi kanye nazo zonke ezinye izibopho zemvelo kanye nokulindela okwakha nobaba 'ojwayelekile' futhi.
Kunzima ukugqashula kumhlukumezi wakho ikakhulukazi ukuthi ubudlelwano busondelene kakhulu.
Abahlukunyezwayo ababhekene nesibopho sokuhlukumezeka abasaziboni behlukene nabahlukumezi babo.
Nganoma yibuphi ubudlelwano obunobuthi, inani lokuhlukumezeka olutholayo (okungukuthi, ukuxhashazwa kwengqondo, ukuhlazeka, njll.) Alilingani nokuzethemba kwakho.
Umuhle ngokwakho; uyakwazi ukuzimela, futhi ungaphezu kokukwazi ukufeza izinto ngokwakho ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekubhekaneni nomzali we-narcissistic. Njengephuzu lesibili, yazi ukuthi kulungile impela ukunqamula izibopho ikakhulukazi lapho ubudlelwane sebunobuthi obukhulu.
4. Beka imingcele
Obaba abangamaNarcissistic babheka izingane zabo njengamathuluzi. Ngokusobala, izingane zabo "ziyizimpahla" kubo. Futhi ngoba "bangabakho", bazokusebenzisa.
Uma uhlala nomzali othanda ukukhwabanisa, beka imingcele bese uqinisa le mingcele.
Gcina engqondweni ukuthi uyihlo oyingozi we-narcissist akanalo uzwela. Lokhu kuntula uzwela kumenza angakwazi ukuqonda imizwa yakho noma imicabango yakho.
Lapho ubaba wakho eqala ukuphikisana nemingcele oyibekile, thatha isinyathelo uphikise isikhundla sakhe. Futhi, usumdala manje, futhi ngokusebenzelana nobaba oyisidlwangudlwangu, ungaqala ukugomela igunya lakho ikakhulukazi lapho ubaba wakho ekhombisa isimo sengqondo sokululaza.
Kepha, qaphela; umuzwa womuntu oziphethe kabi we-narcissist ubuthakathaka, abaze bafune ukuthi umuzwa wabo wobunono obukelwe kahle uphikiswe yinoma ngubani. Yima uqinile nemingcele yakho ngenkathi uhlala nabazali abathandanayo.
5. Zijwayeze ukwamukela
Ungahle ungacabangi ngalokhu njengenketho yokunqoba ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kepha ukuzijwayeza ukwamukela kuyasiza.
Lapho uthola ithuba lokuthola ukwelashwa, wamukela ubaba wakho we-narcissistic ukuthi ungubani mhlawumbe kulula. Kepha kulabo abangakwenzi lokho, lokhu kungaba yinto enzima kakhulu ukuyenza ikakhulukazi lapho ubaba wakho edinga ukuziphakamisa.
"Umoya wakhe onzima" ngeke ukwazi ukuphulwa, ngemuva kwakho konke, umuntu othanda ukuzidla uzobona kuphela ukuthi uphelele futhi ufanele ukunakwa konke (lolu cwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi bazi kanjani ukuphazamiseka kobuntu babo).
Uma ukwazi ukuhlela kabusha umbono wakho kungenzeka ukuthi kube lula ukulawuleka, okushoyo (ungamazisi ukuthi uyaphathwa!).
Ukwenza leso sinyathelo sokuqala sokuphulukiswa ekuhlukumezeni ngokweqile kanye nalobu budlelwano obulimazayo kuzoba nzima ukuqala ngakho. Kepha uma ususithathile leso sinyathelo, uzobona ukuthi kungcono kanjani ukukwazi ukugqashula emonakalisweni wokuba ingane kababa oyisidlwangudlwangu.