-Delile
- Yini eyenza ubudlelwano busebenze?
- Izindlela zokuzizwa usondele ngokushesha kumlingani wakho
- Izindlela ze-Surefire zokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe ethandwa
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuyisisekelo somshado omnandi.
Imibhangqwana engafinyelela ukunamathela okuphephile futhi yakhe ukuxhumana okuqinile kwemizwa yilezi uyakwazi ukuzibeka engcupheni yokuba sengozini.
U-Erik, 42, no-Amanda, 40, umbhangqwana engiweluleke muva nje beze ehhovisi lami bezofuna ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwabo ngenxa yokuthola ingcindezi kulandela ukushona okungazelelwe kukamama ka-Amanda no-Erik bengayi emsebenzini futhi bengakwazi ukumeseka ngesikhathi sakhe isikhathi sosizi olukhulu.
U-Amanda wakubeka kanjena, “Izinyanga eziyisithupha zokugcina beziyinselele kakhulu ngemuva kokushona kukamama kanti u-Erik ubengekho kakhulu, futhi sahlukana. Wayengekho lapho ngangimdinga khona futhi ngazakhela inzondo futhi ngaqala ukungamethembi, ngesaba ukuthi wahlangana nomunye umuntu noma wangithanda. ”
U-Erik uphendule wathi, “Uqinisile u-Amanda futhi ngizizwa kabi ngalokhu. Ngifuna nje ithuba lokukwenza kuye. Iphrojekthi engangisebenza kuyo yayihilela ukuhamba kwezwe futhi angikwazi ukuwenqaba. Bekuyisikhathi esibi futhi ngiyamthanda u-Amanda futhi ngifuna ukukufakazela lokho. ”
Ukuhlakulela ukusondelana kubandakanya ukuzivumela ukuthi ubesengozini futhi uthembe umlingani wakho.
Bonke ubudlelwano bunokungezwani kwesinye isikhathi. Noma kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuthi abalingani basebenzise leyo ngxabano ukuze bavumelane ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo, bathande ngokomzimba, futhi bavule imicabango yabo, imizwa yabo, kanye nezifiso zabo.
Yini eyenza ubudlelwano busebenze?
Imibhangqwana ejabulayo ingasheshe ithole ukuthi izingqinamba zazo zokuthembana zivela ebudlelwaneni babo bamanje noma ngabe ziyizinsalela ezingokomzwelo ezedlule.
Uma wenza ukuhlola ngokucophelela umlando wakho nomlando womlingani wakho, uzoyeka ukuphinda okwedlule.
Kungenzeka ukubhekana ngempumelelo nezipoki zakudala ngokudlulisa ukwethembana komunye nomunye ngamazwi nangezenzo ezihambisana nombono wothando, wesikhathi eside ngomshado.
Isibonelo, u-Amanda wakwazi ukubona ekwelashweni kwezithandani ukuthi izinkinga zakhe zokuthembana zaqala ebuntwaneni bakhe kusukela ubaba wakhe ekhaphela umama wakhe iminyaka eminingi ngesikhathi engumshayeli weloli futhi eshayela eFlorida isikhathi eside.
Ngenxa yalokhu, u-Amanda watshela u-Erik ukuthi manje useyabona ukuthi okunye ukungamethembi kwakhe kuvela emlandweni wakhe futhi imizwa yakhe yaba namandla kakhulu lapho ephuma ezweni.
Ngamanye amagama, njengoba yonke imibhangqwana iza nemithwalo, kubalulekile ukuthi nixoxe ngokukhululekile ngezimbangela ezingokomzwelo, okuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule, nezinkinga zokwethembana kusenesikhathi ebudlelwaneni benu. Le ngxoxo evulekile izosebenza ukuqinisa isibopho sakho lapho kuvela ukungabaza okungenakugwenywa noma ukwephula ukwethembana.
Izindlela zokuzizwa usondele ngokushesha kumlingani wakho
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nokwethembana kuyahambisana, futhi imibhangqwana enamathiselwe ngokuphepha ingaveza izidingo nezintandokazi zayo.
Enye yezindlela eziqinisekile zokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe ethandwa ukukhulisa isifiso nobulili ebuhlotsheni bakho.
Ngokunjalo, imikhuba yansuku zonke njengokuthinta, ukubukana kahle kwamehlo, ukulalela nokukhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, kuzovumela abalingani ukuba basondelane ngokomzwelo futhi baveze inkanuko emshadweni wabo.
Ukuzwela inkanuko yimizwa emnandi imibhangqwana ehlangabezana nayo lapho ithinta, ibona, inambitha, futhi izwa - njengokuhamba nibambene ngezandla ogwini.
Kubandakanya okungaphezulu kakhulu kokuya ocansini.
Ubungqabavu buyindlela yokuxhumana nomlingani wakho okwamanje, ngokusho kukaWoward J. Markman, Ph.D., futhi kukhombisa imizwa yokuba sothandweni nokuhehwa kumlingani wakho.
Izindlela ze-Surefire zokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe ethandwa
Esikhundleni sokuhluleka ukwenza amasu okubhekana nawo owasungula emindenini yakho odabuka kuyo, kubalulekile ukuzibophezela ekukhuliseni ukuxhumana okuhle ngokomzwelo.
Ngakho-ke, yiziphi ezinye zezinto ongazisho kumlingani wakho ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho?
Yenza umzamo oqinile wokufaka imibono, imishwana, noma imibuzo eyakhayo ezingxoxweni zakho nomlingani wakho.
Le ngxoxo elandelayo ibonisa ezinye zezindlela u-Amanda no-Erik abakwenze ngazo lokhu lapho behlangana futhi ekupheleni kosuku.
U-Erik: “Ungangitshela okwengeziwe ngosuku lwakho?” Lawa magama aveza ilukuluku lokwazi ngenkathi esiza umlingani wakho ukuthi anethezeke kakhulu ngokuba sengozini.
U-Amanda: “Into engibekela inselele ngayo manje indlela uthishanhloko angibheka ngayo. Kuzwakala sengathi akukho engingakwenza kahle. ” Impendulo ka-Amanda ikhombisa u-Erik ukuthi uyamethemba ngokwanele ukuba angafihlela obala ngemizwa yakhe emibi ngomphathi wakhe.
U-Erik: “Ngizama ukuqonda ukuthi ubhekene nani. Njengoba ngingasebenzi esikoleni, unganginika isibonelo salokho obhekene nakho? Impendulo ka-Erik ikhombisa uzwela nesifiso sokuxhumana ngokujule kakhulu no-Amanda.
U-Amanda: “Kusho lukhulu kimi ukuthi uyakukhathalela ukubuza. Ngikhathele kakhulu ukungena emininingwaneni njengamanje, kodwa ake sithi, kubonakala sengathi uzele mina futhi lokho kuyangijabulisa. ”
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano obusha, kunesifiso esikhulu nesasasa, kepha okugcina ubudlelwano obujabulisayo nobunempilo kukhuthaza ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ngokuba sengozini nokwakha ukwethembana usuku nosuku.
Lapho nje izingcindezi zansuku zonke zokuhlala ndawonye seziqalile, kungaba yinselelo kwabashadikazi ukuthi bathathane futhi bahlale bezibophezele ekufezeni ukuhlangana ngokomzwelo nsuku zonke.
Indlela eyinhloko imibhangqwana engenza ngayo lokhu ukuqinisa okunamathiselwe kwayo ngengxoxo yansuku zonke esobala ngaphandle kokwesaba ukulahlwa noma ukulahlekelwa uthando.