-Delile
- 1. Gwema ababulali bobudlelwano abane
- Zijwayeze ukuzwelana nozwela
- 3. Qonda ukuthi nowakwakho uyesaba
- 4. Yazi ukuthi lokhu kuyisivivinyo esikhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho
- 5. Yiba yisilaleli esihle kumlingani wakho
Izinyanga ezimbili kuya kwezintathu zokuhlukaniswa ngenxa yobhadane lomhlaba wonke kuzohlola ubudlelwano obuqine kakhulu. Ngisho nabantu abanemishado emangalisayo bakhathazekile ngabalingani babo bangabahlanyisa ngasekupheleni kwayo.
Esikhundleni salokho kukhathazeka, ngifuna ukuthi uthuthukise umshado wakho, ngokucabanga njengo kuvela ekuzihlukaniseni kuleli hlobo ngomshado onamandla kunanini ngaphambili.
Ungaqinisa umshado ngokulandela izinyathelo ezimbalwa zokuqamba umshado ongcono.
Ngiyazi ngoba ngingumlamuli wehlukaniso. Ngiphinde ngibe ngumqeqeshi wezehlukaniso, lapho ngigxila khona ekugcineni imibhangqwana ingadingi umlamuleli. Nsuku zonke ngibona izindlela abashadayo ababuthatha kalula ngazo ubudlelwano babo, nokuthi yini abangayenza kunalokho ukuqinisa isibopho sabo.
Buka futhi:
Nawa amathiphu ayisihlanu okwenza ngcono umshado wakho, uzizwe uvikelekile emshadweni wakho, unqobe ukudideka ngokomzwelo emshadweni futhi gcina umshado uqinile kuyo yonke indawo yokuhlukaniswa kwe-COVID-19 futhi uvikele isifo "sokugcina utshani".
Nalu uhlelo lokutakula olukhulu lokuthuthukisa umshado wakho.
1. Gwema ababulali bobudlelwano abane
Kunezikhathi, ngisho nasemshadweni ojabulisa kakhulu, lapho oshade naye ekucasula noma ekuthukuthelisa.
Ukuzwa le mizwa kunempilo.
Ukusebenzisa ukugxeka, ukuzivikela, ukwedelela, noma ukuvimba amatshe ukulawula imizwa yakho kuzokwenza isimo esivele sishubile sibe sibi kakhulu futhi kubhuntshise imizamo yakho yokwenza ngcono umshado wakho.
Ngolunye usuku umngani washaya ngendaba engicabanga ukuthi inikeza umfanekiso omuhle:
Umyeni wakhe uthe uzongena esitolo ayofuna ukudla. Wayecabanga ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthi uzobuya ekhaya nobisi, isinkwa, kanye nephepha langasese (uma enenhlanhla). Esikhundleni salokho, wafika ekhaya ephethe amalitha amabili kawoyela womnqumo — ababengawadingi.
Wabona ukuthi wayenenketho engaba nomthelela omude emshadweni wakhe ngesikhathi (nangemva) kokuhlukaniswa:
- Wayengathi “amafutha omnqumo? Ucabangani? Ngizokwenzani ngamalitha amabili kawoyela womnqumo? Ungaba kanjani isilima esingaka? ”
- Ubengathi “ngiyabonga, s'thandwa sami, ngiyabonga ukuthi wenze lokho.”
Ukhethe ukhetho lwesibili ngoba ukukhetha indlela yokuqala bekungaba yindlela esheshayo eya ehhovisi lami. Ekukhetheni leyo nketho, wayebuye asebenzise ithiphu.
Zijwayeze ukuzwelana nozwela
Ngaphambi kokuba uthukuthele owakwakho, zama ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zabo ngokwenza uzwela olunobubele.
Isazi sezobuhlakani ngokomzwelo uDaniel Goldman sithi: “Ngalolu hlobo lozwela, asiqondi nje kuphela ubunzima bomuntu futhi sizizwe sinabo kepha sishukumiseleka ngokuzenzekelayo ukusiza uma kudingeka.”
Umngani wami wabona ukuthi impendulo yomyeni wakhe yayihlobene nokwesaba nokungakwazi kwakhe "ukulawula" isimo. Ngasizathu simbe lokho kwaphuma njengokuthatha isinqumo, babedinga amalitha kawoyela womnqumo.
Lapho wenza uzwela, khumbula ukuthi konke okwenziwa ngumlingani wakho ngesikhathi sokuvalelwa kungahle kuvele endleleni abesilisa nabesifazane ababhekana ngayo nezimo ezicindezelayo. Lokhu kuqonda kuzosiza kakhulu uma ufuna ukuthuthukisa umshado wakho nokugwema idrama yobudlelwano engadingekile.
Abesilisa bangabaxazululi bezinkinga noma bayazilungisa. Babheke isithombe esikhulu. Cishe bahlala ngokuhambisana nezindaba nesimo sezomnotho ngokuphelele. Kungenzeka ukuthi benza ukuthinta okukhulu futhi bathatha amaphrojekthi amakhulu njengendlela yokuvikela umndeni.
- Abesifazane benza okudingeka kwenziwe njengamanje. Cishe abafuni ukubheka isithombe esikhulu ngoba banakekela imininingwane esheshayo. Bazobe bebala konke okudingeka kwenzeke njengamanje.
3. Qonda ukuthi nowakwakho uyesaba
Wonke umuntu wethukile njengamanje.
Wonke umuntu. Noma bengakusho futhi / noma benze sengathi abasibo. Ukwesaba kuphuma ngezindlela eziningi, futhi ngaphandle kwezinhloso ezifanele zokuthuthukisa umshado wakho, wena noshade naye nizothola eyodwa, noma mhlawumbe ngaphezulu, yale mizwa ejwayelekile:
- Intukuthelo
- Ukucindezeleka
- Ukukhathazeka okwandisiwe
- Ukuba ndikindiki ngokomzwelo
- Ukugxila kakhulu emsebenzini
Uma ubona owakwakho enza ngokweqile nganoma iyiphi yalezi zindlela, yima kancane ngaphambi kokuthi usho noma yini. Lokhu kungenzeka ukuthi ukwesaba kwabo kubonakala kanjani. Futhi khumbula, kungenzeka ukuthi usabela ngale ndlela ngokwakho. Sebenzela ukuqaphela ukuthi nobabili nisabela kanjani, futhi mhlawumbe nisabela ngokweqile, ezimweni ezijwayelekile njengokuwasha izingubo, ukuhlanza indlu, amazinga omsindo ngezikhathi zomsebenzi, njalonjalo.
4. Yazi ukuthi lokhu kuyisivivinyo esikhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho
Siphila esikhathini esimangazayo nesesabekayo, futhi lokho kwenza kube isivivinyo esikhulu emshadweni wakho owake waba naso — futhi okungenzeka ukuthi uzoke ube naso. Ukuze uthuthukise umshado wakho ngamabomu, xhumana ngalokho okudingayo, futhi unikeze oshade naye isikhala uma besidinga.
- Thola isikhala sokuthi ngamunye wenu azishayele esakhe. Lapho oshade naye eya kuleso sikhala, hlonipha isidingo sabo sokuba wedwa. Uma uhlala efulethini elincane lapho ungeke ukwazi khona ukuzakhela isikhala, hlela indlela yokuthola leso sikhathi sisodwa, njengokufaka izindlebe zokukhansela umsindo. Makube nesikhala ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungathuthukisa umshado wakho. Isikhala ebudlelwaneni bakho asinabo ubugovu, isenzo sokuzivikela nokuzithuthukisa.
- Uma ubona owakwakho ecindezelekile, ekhathazekile, noma endikindiki, cabanga ngento encane owaziyo ukuthi bayayithanda. Badwebele ibhavu, bhaka amakhukhi, ukhanyise ikhandlela. Izenzo ezincane zensizakalo zenza umehluko omkhulu. Ukucabangisisa kungawuthuthukisa umshado wakho, ngaphandle kokubheka iziqu nemikhombe yempilo yomshado.
- Setha izikhathi ozokhuluma ngazo ukuthi uqhuba kanjani. Buzanani ngqo ukuthi yini eningayidinga.
- Naka zonke izinto ezenziwa ngumlingani wakho, wazise futhi ubatshele ukuthi uyabonga.
5. Yiba yisilaleli esihle kumlingani wakho
Ukukhuluma ngezidingo zakho kubalulekile. Ukulalela oshade naye kubaluleke ngokufanayo.
Uma oshade naye esho okuthile okukucasulayo noma okukucasulayo, ungaphenduli ngokushesha. Zinike isikhathi sokuqonda impendulo yakho — ingabe ucindezela ngokweqile noma ucasukile?
- Ingabe lokhu okushiwo ngumlingani wakho kukhombisa ukwesaba kwabo njengamanje?
- Ungalubonisa kanjani uzwela?
Lesi yisikhathi esihle sokuqala ukuloba ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, ucabangani, nokuthi ungaphendula kanjani.
Umshado uyinto yokuzijabulisa. Ukuprakthiza ngayinye yalezi zeluleko ezinhlanu kuzothuthukisa umshado wakho futhi kuqinise isibopho sothando ngaphezu kwalokho obucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka.