-Delile
- 1. Dedela okwedlule ngokuzizwela
- 2. Nquma ukuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni obusha
- 3. Bheka uthando usebenzisa amathuluzi wanamuhla
- 4. Indlela esheshayo yokuthandana
- 5. Ungalugcina kanjani uthando uma usulutholile
Ngesikhathi usemncane indlela yendabuko yokuqomisana yayiqonde ngqo: thandana, shada, ube nezingane. Ngabe ukusebenza ngothando kusebenza kanjani uma wehlile ngalowo mgwaqo, noma uhlobo oluthile lwayo, vele? Inkambu yokuphola isishintshile, ungubani nokuthi yini oyifunayo kushintshile; ushintshile.
Uhamba nezinsuku zokuqala nobudlelwano obusha zonke izinto ezenze impilo yakho: umsebenzi, izingane, abazukulu, izinkumbulo zabathandekayo, ubuhlungu benhliziyo obuvela ebudlelwaneni obudlule, ikhaya, indlela yokuphila, izinto ozithandayo, nokuningi. Ngayo yonke lempilo obuyiphila namanje nawe nayo yonke impilo oshiye ukuyiphila ngaphambi kwakho, kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi umuntu athandane, athandane futhi abophe ifindo likasofasilahlane phakathi noma ngemuva kweminyaka yobudala?
1. Dedela okwedlule ngokuzizwela
Noma ngabe umlingani wakho wangaphambili udlulile emhlabeni noma nihlukene, lapho ushonelwa umuntu omthandayo, ulahlekelwa izinto eziningana ngasikhathi sinye: umuntu, ubuhlobo, indlela yokuphila enabelana ngayo, usizo abakunikeze lona, nezinhlelo enizenze ndawonye. Ukushintsha okulahlekile akulula, kepha kuyadingeka; usalelwe impilo yakho yonke yokuphila.
Ukuqhubekela phambili kusukela ekulahlekelweni akwenzeki ngokushesha, futhi akufanele futhi. Kudinga ukuzivumela ukuba ube lusizi ngokugcwele futhi uyeke ukulindela ukuthi uzothola ikhophi eliqondile lothando lwakho lwangaphambilini. Uzakwenu wayehlukile, nobudlelwano bakho bebuhlukile. Akekho umuntu omusha ozokwazi ukugcwalisa izicathulo zomlingani wakho wakudala ngendlela efanayo. Zivumele ukuba ube lusizi ngalokhu, uzwe yonke leyo mizwa, uqaphele ukuthi yini oshiya emuva, bese kuthi lapho usunakho, dlulela esinyathelweni sesi-2.
2. Nquma ukuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni obusha
Awukwazi ukuthola uthando olusha uma ungazi ukuthi ufunani. Bhala uhlu lwazo zonke izinto onethemba lokuzithola kuzakwethu. Cabanga ngalokho ofuna ukuthi iminyaka eyishumi noma amashumi eminyaka ezayo empilweni yakho ibukeke. Ngumlingani onjani ongaba umngane ofanelekile kulolo hambo?
Uma uthanda ukuhamba, mhlawumbe ufuna ukuthola umuntu olungele ezokuzijabulisa. Uma uhlale uphupha ngokuthatha umhlalaphansi uye echibini, uzofuna ukuthola umuntu ongaphandle. Futhi, cabanga ngezimfanelo ozifunayo kumuntu - inhlekisa, umusa nozwela, ukomela ulwazi.
3. Bheka uthando usebenzisa amathuluzi wanamuhla
Ukuqomisana kungenzeka kushintshe kakhulu selokhu wagcina ukukwenza. Kungabonakala kusabisa ekuqaleni. Kepha ukwenza okusebenzayo ekubuyiseleni okulahlekile kuzokusiza wakhe ukuqina. Ungathatha usizo lwezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola ukuthola uthando olusha.
Uma ubhala iphrofayili yakho futhi ulayisha izithombe zakho kuzinhlelo zokusebenza, thembeka futhi ube yiqiniso. Iphuzu lonke ukuhlangana nomuntu mathupha bese uzama ukwakha ukuxhumana. Yini inhloso yokususa iminyaka kusuka eminyakeni yakho noma amasentimitha kusuka kubude bakho uma ufuna umuntu ozokuthanda wena? Iba nguwe. Uyamangalisa futhi uyamangalisa futhi ufanele uthando, futhi ufanelwe ukuba nomuntu ongaba ngumuntu wakho wangempela.
4. Indlela esheshayo yokuthandana
Imisebenzi cishe njalo iyindlela engcono, futhi esheshayo, yokusondela kothile kunezingxoxo. Lapho senza okuthile okudala imizwa yenjabulo noma yokwesaba - njengokuya kwiklabhu yamahlaya noma ukugibela i-rollercoaster - ubuchopho bethu bukhipha i-oxytocin, ebizwa nge- "love hormone" ngenxa yomphumela wayo ekubumbaneni okubili. Esikhundleni sokuphuma uyodla isidlo sakusihlwa nomuntu onentshisekelo kuye, yenza okuthile okujabulisayo noma okwesabisayo (ngendlela enhle) nabo. Uzosondela, ngokushesha, ngaleyo ndlela.
5. Ungalugcina kanjani uthando uma usulutholile
Lapho abantu bethi ubudlelwano obuhle kakhulu “buyasebenza,” abasho lobo budlelwano uzizwe njengokusebenza kanzima. Lokho abakushoyo ukuthi: ubudlelwano obuhle abenzeki ngengozi. Akuyona ingozi lapho abantu ababili benza indawo ephephile, engahluleli lapho bangahlanganyela khona bodwa; kuyisinqumo. Amakhono okukhulumisana aphilile - ukwethembeka nokuvuleleka nokuzimisela ukulalela nokuqonda - kuyenzeka.
Ukugcina inhlansi yothando iphila, yenza ukukhetha njalo ekuseni uvuka wenze okuthile okuzothuthukisa imizwa yothando phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, futhi ngaleyo ndlela kwandise i-oxytocin. Lapho amahomoni aqhuba izifiso zocansi ancipha njengoba ukhula, ngamahomoni othando azogcina uthando luqhubeka. Sebenzisa womabili amagama nezenzo ukukhombisa uthando, bese nihlela futhi nenze imisebenzi yobumnandi ndawonye ukugcina izinto ziphila.
Ukuthola uthando olusha kudinga ukuzazi ngezidingo zakho kanye nokuzimisela ukufinyelela kwabanye ukuze babambe iqhaza ekuzigcwaliseni. Futhi kubandakanya ukuzihawukela, ukubekezela, nomqondo ovulekile njengoba uthola indlela yakho entsha eya phambili.