-Delile
- 1. Bhala phansi zonke lezo zinto osaba ukulahlekelwa zizo
- 2. Beka ukwesaba kwakho phambili naphakathi nendawo
- 3. Ungabi ngumzali wedwa uwedwa
Lapho ucabanga ukuthi impilo yakho izoshintsha kanjani lapho kufika okusha, kuhle, ifika, iziphi izinguquko okhathazeke kakhulu ngazo? Mhlawumbe wesaba ukuthi izici ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni bakho zizomane zinyamalale. Kungani ubungeke ukhathazeke ngalokhu? Ngisho, abantu bayathanda ukusitshela lokho
“Konke izinguquko! ”,“ Uvalelise ucansi! ” futhi “Ngeke uphinde ulale. Njalo! ”
Kukhona kokubili / nempendulo kulokhu okulindelwe okungalungile. Kunezindlela zokubeka phambili ingane yakho ngenkathi ubeka phambili ubuhlobo bakho.
Ezinye izindlela Khipha - ukuvala umnyango wokunye okuthile
'Alternatives Exclude' yisilinganiso esivela kuJohn Gardner UGrendel ukuthi udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Irvin Yalom uvame ukucaphuna.
Ngikubone kufanelekile uma ngibheka ukwesaba okungavela lapho imibhangqwana yenza ukukhetha ukuba nengane. Isahluko esisha esijabulisayo, kepha kunezinto ezilahlekile. Okwenza abantu abaningi bakhubazeke futhi bangazibophezeli umqondo wokuthi noma nini lapho wenza ukhetho empilweni uvala umnyango wokunye okuthile.
Okuhlobene: Iseluleko Sabazali: Umusha Ukuba Umzali? Siqoqe Izeluleko Ezilusizo!
Kufana nokuma esitolo sezincwadi ungakhethi incwadi ozoyifunda ngoba uthathe isinqumo sokufunda Impi Nokuthula futhi kusho ukuthi uthatha isinqumo sokungafundi Bathandekayo, noma IGatsby Enkulu, noma Impilo Emfushane Emangazayo ka-Oscar Wao. Futhi ugcina ungafundi lutho.
Uthathe ukukhetha. Wena nomlingani wakho niletha ingane emndenini wakho. Umndeni wakho wabantu ababili onazo zonke izingxoxo, amashifu okuphila, nokuhlanganiswa komndeni nabangane abasha obekufanele ubamukele lapho usuka ku-'single' uye 'kubudlelwano' manje sekufanele ubeke omunye umuntu. Futhi le mpilo yokubambisana neyengane oyikhethile izokhipha ezinye izici zempilo yami-nawe-ophikisana nomhlaba okungenzeka ukuthi ubunayo.
Ngabe uphawula noma yikuphi ukukhathazeka okukhulayo njengoba ucabanga ngalokho? Nakhu okufanele ukwenze ngokulandelayo:
1. Bhala phansi zonke lezo zinto osaba ukulahlekelwa zizo
Kwenze kube nemininingwane eminingi ngangokunokwenzeka, kodwa vele uyikhiphe yonke ekhanda lakho uye ephepheni elithile (noma kuhlelo lokusebenza lwamanothi noma okuthile kwedijithali. Ngiyashintshashintsha. Akekho ozoqoqa lokhu. Ngiyakuthanda ukuvumelana uhlu olufana nalolu ngoba okunye kokukhathazeka okukhulu emhlabeni kulapho kunovalo nje olungenasimo olungaxhunyanisiwe neze nalutho. Vele ukukhathazeka okuntanta mahhala okulungele ukwehla phansi kukukhahlele emathunjini, kukushiye ubambe ongezansi.
2. Beka ukwesaba kwakho phambili naphakathi nendawo
Njengamanje ungavele wesabe ushintsho ngaphandle kokuqonda ngempela ukuthi yini ukhathazekile ngokulahleka. Ake senze lokho kwesaba ngaphambili naphakathi nendawo. Lokhu kungaba njengokujwayelekile 'ngamaSonto angamavila embhedeni kanye nephepha' noma kucaciswe njengokuthi 'ukubona ubusuku bokuvula kwe-movie yakamuva ye-Star Wars-obungayithanda njalo ukubona ndawonye! '
Kubeke phansi konke. Uma unezinto ezingaphansi kweshumi lapho-ke awukaqedi. Nibe nesikhathi esithe xaxa lapho bekunguwe nobabili nje kuphela, ngakho-ke zivumele ukuthi ungene kuzo zonke izikhathi eziyimfihlo okhathazeka ngazo ukuthi zizolahleka. Ngokunokwenzeka ingqikithi enkulu isiyonke nokwesaba i- ubuhlobo yehlela ku: Ngabe ngizolahlekelwa ukubambisana esikwakhile? Ngeke siphinde sizizwe sifana "nabashadikazi"?
Okuhlobene: Ukuxoxisana nokuklama uhlelo lokukhulisa izingane
Khumbula, kepha, ukuthi ngenkathi uqala ubudlelwano bakho kungenzeka ubulokhu ubuza ukuthi: “Ngabe ngizolahlekelwa yini mina? ” Ngiyethemba, ngomsebenzi, nobabili senibekile ebudlelwaneni enikwazile ukudala ukubambisana okungasho ukuthi wena, njengomuntu oyedwa, ulahlekile. Futhi lowo mbono uyizindaba ezinhle. Wenze lokhu ngaphambilini. Usudlule enkingeni eyodwa yomjikelezo wempilo wavela.
Manje wenzeni ngohlu lwakho manje?
3. Ungabi ngumzali wedwa uwedwa
Nansi ingxenye enzima njengoba kungahle kube yisicubu esisha odinga ukusithuthukisa: Thumela umbhalo wakho kumlingani wakho bese wenza usuku ozodlula ngalo ohlwini lwakho.
Lokhu kubalulekile ngoba kungaba nzima ukwenza ushintsho olusuka kokuthi "Ngingukaputeni womkhumbi wami kanye nomphathi womphefumulo wami" ukuthi kufanele ngihlole komunye umuntu ukuze ngiqiniseke ukuthi ingane inakekelwa kahle uma udinga ukuhlala sekwephuzile emsebenzini.
Emndenini ophilile, kuzoba khona ukuthembana kwangempela okuzoqala ukusebenza futhi okungasabisa futhi kungakhathazi uma uhlale uziqhenya ngokuzimela kwakho. Kepha awukwazi ukwenza lezi zinhlelo noma ubhekane nalokhu kwesaba wedwa futhi unethemba lokuthi uzophumelela. Ngiqonde ukuthi, ungakwazi, kepha ngeke ufike kude kakhulu futhi kuzogcina kukhathaza nobabili.
Okuhlobene: Ukukhahlela Ukukhungatheka Ngokuphuma Kubazali Ukuba Ngezinyathelo Ezi-4 Ezilula
Ngakho-ke, hlelani usuku lokuhlala phansi nixoxe ngezinto ezikhathazayo, ezesabayo nezikhathazayo — futhi lokhu nithandanise nalokho enikuthandayo omunye nomunye eningafuni ukukulahla. Qonda, futhi ubasize baqonde ukuthi lokhu kwesaba kumayelana nokuthi ungaqinisekisa kanjani ukuthi nobabili ningaqhubeka nokuba ngabantu abanamandla, abanentshisekelo, abakhethekile nobabili enibe yibo bobabili.
Nqumani ndawonye — ngaphambi kokuba ingane ifike — ukuthi nizoxoxisana kanjani ngezinto lapho zivela. Yebo, amacebo ahlelwe kahle kakhulu angawa wonke uma ingane isifikile, kepha ingxenye enkulu yobuzali ifunda ukujwayela-heck, ingxenye enkulu uyaphila yilokho kanye!
Ukwenza izinhlelo ngaphambi kwesikhathi kusho ukuthi okungenani ubeka izinhloso ezithile. Ningakhumbuzana ngezikhathi ezinzima ukuthi zibaluleke kangakanani izici ezithile zobudlelwano benu futhi nibonisane kabusha ngokuthi nifike kanjani lapho. Ukubambisana njengomzali kuzodinga ukubambisana okwengeziwe, ukuyekethisa, kanye nokuxhumana. Kuyajabulisa ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthi uma wenza kahle lokhu, uzogcina ujulisa ubudlelwano bakho.
Qhubekela phambili
Ukuba nengane kuzoguqula ubudlelwane bakho, kepha akudingeki ulahlekelwe yizinto zakho ozithandayo. Yibani nesibindi futhi nivule isifuba nomlingani wakho mayelana nokuthi yini eniyithandayo ngabo, enikwesabayo ukuthi kuzolahleka, futhi nithole isiqinisekiso komunye nomunye nazi ukuthi nizobhekana nale ngxenye entsha yohambo lwenu nonke.