-Delile
- 1. Qinisekisa izingane zakho futhi unikeze ukuphepha
- 2. Qaphela izehlakalo zakamuva nesikhathi
- 3. Cabanga imibandela yesingeniso sozakwethu esisha
- 4. Khuluma nezingane zakho ngokuthandana
- 5. Ungaqhathanisi owamanje nowakwangaphambili
- 6. Musa ukwethula wonke umlingani nabo
- 7. Vumela izingane zakho ukuba zibe yizo uqobo
Ukuqomisana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane kungadida futhi kube yinselele kubo bobabili abazali nezingane. Akekho olindele ukuhlukaniswa. Ngakho-ke akekho owaziyo ukuthi iyiphi inkambo engcono kakhulu yokwenza lapho kwenzeka.
Ukudabukisa ukulahlekelwa ngumshado, ukuhlukaniswa kwempahla, nokuxoxisana ngelungelo lokugcina ingane kunzima kakhulu ngaphandle kokuphola ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane. Kodwa-ke, imininingwane ikhombise ukuthi ukuphinda ubambisane kwenzeke ngokushesha, imvamisa kuqomisana ngaphambi kokufakwa kwesahlukaniso.
Ukuqomisana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane kuphakamisa imibuzo ebalulekile njengokuthi “kufanele uqale nini nokuthi ungajola kanjani ngemuva kwesahlukaniso” noma “ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani nezingane zami ngakho.”
Yize ingekho impendulo ephelele noma isisombululo esisodwa, kuneziqondiso ezithile eziwusizo kule nqubo.
1. Qinisekisa izingane zakho futhi unikeze ukuphepha
Isehlukaniso sethula izinguquko eziningi ezimpilweni zezingane futhi sinyakazisa umuzwa wokuphepha nokubikezela. Ukubuka abazali babo behlukanisa kungaveza ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abazali abathandana ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungekudala bangakhuphula izinkathazo nezinkathazo zabo.
Izingane ezinabazali abahlukanisile zidinga ukuqinisekiswa okwengeziwe. Lapho ucabanga ukuthandana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane, zama ukukhumbula lokhu ngangokunokwenzeka. Inothi lothando ebhokisini lesidlo sasemini, ubusuku be-movie, isikhathi esinqunyelwe ukuxoxa, ungalokothi wephule isivumelwano sokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye singahamba ibanga elide.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngobuhlakani ngesikhathi nangemva kwesehlukaniso kusho ukuthi uhlala ufuna izindlela ezintsha zokubonisa ukuqina nokuqina kothando lwakho ngabo. Lapho bekwethemba ukuthi ukhona ngabo, bakulungele ukwamukela impilo yakho yokuphola esikhundleni sokuyilimaza.
Lokhu, futhi, kunikeza ubudlelwano bakho ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane ithuba elingaphezulu lokuphumelela.
2. Qaphela izehlakalo zakamuva nesikhathi
“Ukuthandana nothile ngemuva kwesehlukaniso” kungenye yemibuzo yokuqala umzali ohlukanisile ukuphola futhi ayicabangayo. Umbuzo obaluleke ngokufanayo ongawubuza ukuthi "ungabelana nini nezingane zami ukuthi ngithandana nini."
Lapho uhlukanisile, ungahle uthande ukubuyela emuva echibini lokuphola, futhi akunasinqumo lapha.
Kodwa-ke, izingane zakho zingahle zingavumelani uma uqala ukuthandana ngokushesha ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Awudingi ukukugcina kuyimfihlo kubo bonke abantu abasempilweni yakho, kodwa qiniseka ukuthi izingane zakho zikulungele ukuzwa izindaba.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, iminyaka yabo yinto okufanele icatshangwe ngaphambi kokwabelana.
Ukuqomisana ngemuva kwesehlukaniso nezingane esezikhulile akufani nokuthandana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane ezisencane endlini. Lungisa insimu, futhi uma sebelungile, hlela izingeniso nomuntu ofanele ukuhlangana nabo.
3. Cabanga imibandela yesingeniso sozakwethu esisha
Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukungena ebudlelwaneni obusezingeni eliphezulu kukhulisa inhlalakahle yomama lapho kuqalwa ebudlelwaneni. Imvamisa, lapho sijabule, sifuna ukuhlanganyela nabasondelene nabo. Kodwa-ke, ekuqomeni ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane, noma yiziphi izinguquko empilweni yezothando zikhombisa abantu abaningi kunawe nabalingani bakho.
Ngakho-ke, lapho uthandana ngemuva kwesehlukaniso nezingane, qiniseka ukuthi ucacisa kahle izindlela zakho zabalingani abahlangana nomndeni wakho.
Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu uma kwenzeka uthandana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane ezisakhula ngoba maningi amathuba okuthi enze njengoba wenza, esikhundleni sokuthi ubatshele.
Idatha iyakusekela lokhu futhi ikhombisa ukuthi izindlela zokuziphatha zomama zokuphola zinomthelela ngqo ekuziphatheni kocansi kwabafana abasebasha kanye nomphumela ongaqondile ocansini lwamantombazane asakhula ngokuthinta isimo sabo sengqondo sobulili.
4. Khuluma nezingane zakho ngokuthandana
Uma uthandana nothile ngemuva kokuhlukanisa nezingane, bekela eceleni isikhathi sokukhuluma nezingane zakho ngokuthandana nobudlelwano. Yize ungeke wazise izingane zakho kubalingani bakho, kuyalulekwa ukuthi ukhulume nazo. Khuluma nabo ukuze ubasize benze umqondo wezinto, bazizwe bephephile futhi bethandwa.
Ukukhuluma nokwabelana ngempilo yakho yokuqomisana nezingane esezikhulile kungaba lula ukwedlula nabantu abancane okungenzeka ukuthi, ngenxa yokwethembeka komunye umzali, benqabe ukuzwa mayelana noma ukuhlangana nabalingani bakho.
Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani nezingane zakho ngokuthandana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso, cabanga ngokuthandana ngemuva kwamathiphu esehlukaniso avela kubantu abadlule kulokhu. Ngaphandle kwabangane bakho nomndeni wakho, ungabuyela emaqenjini aku-inthanethi ukuthola izeluleko zokuphola ngemuva kwesahlukaniso.
5. Ungaqhathanisi owamanje nowakwangaphambili
Lokhu kubonakala kuqondile, nokho kuwugibe olula ukuwela kulo lapho uthandana ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Lapho uhlukanisile futhi uthandana futhi, cishe uzokhetha abalingani abafani nowakwakho wangaphambili, okwenza umehluko phakathi kwabo ubonakale kangako.
Noma ngabe ukuthanda kangakanani ukuziphatha komlingani wakho omusha, qiniseka ukuthi ungaziqhathanisi nesithandwa sakho phambi kwezingane. Lokhu bekungabalimazi nje kuphela kepha kuzobenza balahle umuntu othintana naye.
Impilo ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane kusho ukuthi kufanele uqaphele okushoyo phambi kwazo ngaso sonke isikhathi ngoba ziyalalela futhi ziyalalela.
6. Musa ukwethula wonke umlingani nabo
Ukuphola futhi kungajabulisa futhi kuqinisekise kakhulu.
Ukuqomisana ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungakusiza ukuthi uzibonele ngokukhanya okusha, ngaleyo ndlela kukwenze ufune ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho nokuvelayo nezingane zakho.
Kodwa-ke, udinga ukuthi uqaphele kuphela ukwethula abalingani ongaba nabo isikhathi eside. Yenza umgogodla ube mncane ngangokunokwenzeka ukuwavikela emihlanganweni engadingekile noma okunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo okungaphela lapho ubuhlobo bakho sebuphela.
Ividiyo engezansi ikhuluma ngokwethula izingane kumlingani omusha. Kuyalulekwa ukuthi umuntu kumele athathe isikhathi esithile ngaphambi kokwenza lokho ngoba akuwona wonke umuntu ozophatha izingane zakho ngendlela efanayo. Bheka:
7. Vumela izingane zakho ukuba zibe yizo uqobo
Lapho wethula ingane yakho kumlingani wakho omusha, hlonipha ubuntu babo kanye nokuphendula kwabo.
Ekuqomeni ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane, qiniseka ukuthi uvumela wonke umuntu ukuthi agcine ubuntu bakhe obuhlukile ngenkathi efunda ukuzivumelanisa.
Lapho izingane zakho zikunikeza ilambu eliluhlaza ukuhlangana nokubingelela, zifake emisebenzini yokukhetha nokuhlela.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, banike amandla okuveza imizwa yabo. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuphola ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane ukugwema ukubaphoqa ukuthi benze ngendlela ethile phambi komlingani omusha. Lokhu kungalimaza ubuhlobo bakho nabo.
Ukuqomisana kunzima, noma ngabe kunjani.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, isehlukaniso nezingane nobudlelwano obusha bungazizwa bucindezela kubo bonke abathintekayo. Kodwa-ke, kukhona amathiphu awusizo wokunciphisa inqubo yokuphola ohlukanisile.
Xhumana nezingane zakho ukuqonda ukulungela kwazo ukuxoxa ngezothando nezethulo zabalingani ongahle ube nabo. Baqinisekise futhi ubenze bazizwe beqinisekile ngokuthi ubathanda kangakanani.
Akuwona wonke umuntu okufanele ahlangane nabo futhi, ngisho nalabo abenzayo, bafinyelela kuphela lapho izingane zakho sezikulungele. Yicacisa kahle indlela yokuthi ngubani ozohlangabezana nayo futhi ngaphansi kwaziphi izimo.
Uma isetshenziswa ngokungaguquguquki, lawa macebiso ngokuthandana ngemuva kwesahlukaniso nezingane kufanele akusize uvikele izingane zakho nobuhlobo bakho nazo.