-Delile
- 1. Vumela ukudabuka ngokulahlekelwa
- 2. Yilwa nesifiso sokuhoxa noma sokulala embhedeni
- 3. Yekani ukufuna izimpendulo
- 4. Hlukana nesithandwa sakho, ngokuphelele
- 5. Yamukela ukuthi kuphelile
- 6. Inselele izindaba ozitshela zona
- 7. Prakthiza ukubonga
- 8. Linganisa izinkumbulo zakho
- 9. Gcwalisa isikhathi sakho nezinye izinto ozithandayo
- 10. Zibekezelele
“Uma uthanda umuntu, mkhulule. Uma bebuya bangabakho; uma kungenjalo abakaze babe ”~ URichard Bach
Uma wake waba sebudlelwaneni, maningi amathuba okuthi nawe uke wahlangabezana nokuhlukana. Akunandaba noma ngasiphi isizathu, ukudedela ubuhlobo kunzima. Utshale isikhathi, amandla, nemizwelo komunye umuntu, futhi kungabonakala sengathi uchithe isikhathi sakho noma wenze iphutha. Kuyinto eyodwa ukusho ukuthi uma uthanda umuntu myeke ahambe futhi uma ebuya, bangabakho kepha uma engakweluli lokho kungaba nzima.
Ukudedela ubuhlobo kungaba buhlungu ngempela. Ukulahlekelwa yinoma yini oyithandayo kubuhlungu, futhi nozakwethu akunjalo. Ungazizwa ulahlekile, unesizungu, futhi wesaba ukuzama ukuthanda futhi.
Kepha, izinhlungu zokwehlukana azidingi ukuhlala unomphela, futhi ungabuyela laphaya uphinde uthole uthando futhi noma lokho kungazwakali kuyiqiniso manje.
Ubuhlungu obuningi besikhathi eside esibuzwayo ngemuva kokwehlukana kuqhutshwa izinto ezi-2:
- indlela esicabanga ngayo, futhi
- isikhathi esisichitha sehla ngomzila wememori.
Yize izinkumbulo nemicabango izohlala inawe, indlela ozibheka ngayo ingashintsha. Ukuyeka ubuhlobo yinto ongayenza!
Ngakho-ke, manje mhlawumbe uyazibuza ukudedela kanjani nokuthi uqhubeke kanjani noma ufisa ukuthi wazi uyeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu ukuze uzizwe ungcono.
Nazi izindlela eziyishumi zokukusiza ufunde ukuthi ungadlula kanjani kumuntu omthandayo futhi uqhubeke nempilo yakho.
1. Vumela ukudabuka ngokulahlekelwa
Lokhu kungabonakala njengokuphikisana, kepha ukuzama ukugwema ukuzwa imizwa eza nokuhlukana okubuhlungu empeleni kungaba nomphumela ohlukile futhi kujulise futhi kwandise ubuhlungu.
Esikhundleni sokuziphazamisa emizweni yakho noma imicabango ngokuhlukana, zivumele uhlale nabo.
Sinemizwa ngesizathu, noma ngabe kubuhlungu ukuzwa ngezinye izikhathi. Bhala ngazo, zikhale, ukhulume nomngani.
Ngakho-ke, uma ufuna ukuveza umzwelo, kwenze ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubeka.
2. Yilwa nesifiso sokuhoxa noma sokulala embhedeni
Ukudabuka nokucasuka kulungile, kodwa emva kwesikhashana, qala ukuzibonakalisa nempilo yakho.
Ungadabuka bese uya emsebenzini, futhi ungaba sezinhlungwini bese ukhetha ukukhetha ukuzijabulisa nenjabulo emisebenzini yakho.
Izici eziningi zempilo yakho ngayinye ozibonisa zona, ngokushesha uzokwakha imikhuba emisha esekela ukudedela ubudlelwano nokuqhubekela phambili.
3. Yekani ukufuna izimpendulo
Kuzizwa kubaluleke kakhulu ngemuva kokwehlukana ukuhlaziya nokuqonda ukuthi kungani ubudlelwano bungasebenzi.
Noma ngabe unikezwe impendulo elula evela kozakwethu efana nokuthi "Angithandani," usazobuphinda ubudlelwano kaninginingi, ufuna izimpendulo eziningi ngenkathi uthola umuntu obumthanda.
Ubuchopho bakho buyimilutha kulo mjikelezo futhi ucabanga ukuthi ukwahlukana kwakho kuyinkinga okufanele ixazululwe. Kepha akunjalo! Ingxenye yokudedela ubudlelwano ukwazi ukuthi ayikho impendulo noma isisombululo esizosuthisa ubuhlungu.
4. Hlukana nesithandwa sakho, ngokuphelele
Yeka ukubathumela imiyalezo, ukubacupha ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, noma ukubheka ngocingo lwakho ezithombeni ezindala nemiyalezo.
Njalo lapho wenza omunye wale misebenzi, usetha kabusha iwashi futhi wenze inqubo yokudedela umuntu omthandayo futhi uqhubekele phambili unzima nakakhulu.Hlukana nakho konke okuphathelene ne-ex yakho! Susa imilayezo nezithombe, uzivimbe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ukuze ungaziboni, futhi uzisuse kufoni yakho. Lokhu kungabonakala ngokweqile, kepha kukusiza ukuthi uqhubekele phambili ngokushesha.
5. Yamukela ukuthi kuphelile
Lokhu kuyingxenye enzima kunazo zonke futhi ezuzisa kakhulu yokuyeka ubuhlobo. Niphelile nobabili.
Vele, kubuhlungu ukukufunda lokho. Kepha kuliqiniso.
Lapho uvame ukuzikhumbuza ngaleli qiniso, kuzoba lula ukuzwa nokwamukela.
6. Inselele izindaba ozitshela zona
“Ngingu ayithandeki ”“ Ngizohlala ngingashadile kuze kube phakade. ” Ngabe uzithola uzitshela lezi zinhlobo zezindaba uma uthanda umuntu othile kodwa ungakwazi ukuba naye?
Hhayi-ke, akuzona ezangempela!
Ukuthi izinto azisebenzi lapha, akusho ukuthi uzolahlwa unomphela. Cishe kunabantu abayizigidi eziyizinkulungwane eziyi-7 emhlabeni!
Futhi, mhlawumbe kukhona umlingani omuhle laphaya ofuna wena khona manje.
7. Prakthiza ukubonga
Kwesinye isikhathi ukudedela ubudlelwano kusho ukubonga ngesikhathi enibe ninaso ndawonye nokuthi lobo budlelwano bukunike ini.
Mhlawumbe uthole uthando lokuvakasha phakathi kwalobo budlelwano, futhi mhlawumbe owedlule wakungenisa kokuzilibazisa okusha ongeke ucabange ukukuphila ngaphandle kwamanje.
Ukubonga ngendlela okhule ngayo ngaleso sikhathi kungasiza ekudambiseni izinhlungu.
8. Linganisa izinkumbulo zakho
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uGuy Winch sikhuthaza ukulinganisa izinkumbulo zakho ezijabulisayo zesidala sakho nezimbi.
Utshela iziguli zakhe ukuthi "zihlanganise uhlu oluphelele lwazo zonke izindlela umuntu abekwenza ngokungafanele ngazo, zonke izimfanelo ezimbi, zonke izikhonkwane ezifuywayo, bese zikugcina efonini yakho."
Lapho uqala ukungena ku-nostalgia noma ukuhlehlisa umlingani wakho wangaphambili, khipha uhlu bese ulifunda!
Kuzokusiza ukukukhumbuza ukuthi izinto bezingahlali zenziwa ama-roses nezothando nokuthi i-ex yakho ibingaphelele.
Buka le vidiyo kaGuy Winch ngokuthi ungayilungisa kanjani inhliziyo ephukile:
9. Gcwalisa isikhathi sakho nezinye izinto ozithandayo
Singaphezu kakhulu kobudlelwano bethu. Sinezinto zokuzilibazisa, imisebenzi, abangane, izilwane ezifuywayo, izinkanuko, nazo zonke izinhlobo zezinye izinto ezisenza sibe yilokho esiyikho.
Impilo yakho ayidingi ukubambeka ngoba impilo yakho yothando imiswe okwesikhashana.
Gcwalisa isikhathi osichitha nomlingani wakho ngezinye izinto inhliziyo yakho ezithandayo. Ingxenye yokudedela kobuhlobo ukuvumela uthando lubuyele empilweni yakho, kunoma yiluphi uhlobo olusebenzela wena!
Thatha ikilasi elengeziwe le-yoga ngesonto, shayela umama wakho kaningi, noma uthathe inja uye olwandle.
Ekubuyekezweni kwezifundo eziningi, kutholakale ukuthi ngisho nomsebenzi omncane ungaba nomthelela omkhulu emazingeni enjabulo yomuntu. Ngakho-ke yenza lawo mahomoni ajabulisayo asebenze!
Uma ufuna ukudlulela phambili, kufanele wenze lokho nje. Qhubeka nokuhamba ekugcineni uqhubeke.
10. Zibekezelele
Ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye, ukuzizwela kuyisihluthulelo sokuvumela ubuhlobo buqhubeke futhi buqhubeke.
Ezinye izinsuku uzozizwa umangalisa futhi sengathi awukaze unakekele, futhi ezinye izinsuku zingaba nzima. Kepha, ukudedela nokuqhubekela phambili kungenzeka, futhi uzokwazi ukukwenza!