-Delile
Esikhathini sokwelulekwa, imizwa kaKim yagqashuka yintukuthelo evuthayo yaze yaphela amandla kwaba buhlungu obukhulu lapho ethula udaba lwakhe nezinyembezi, ebalisa ukuthi wakhubeka kanjani ekuthumeleni imiyalezo yocingo yomyeni wakhe, eyathunyelwa kuye ngowesifazane ehhovisi lakhe.
“Angikukholwanga engangikufunda,” kusho yena. “Ukuphendula kwakhe nokhokho bakhe kuyaphendula. Futhi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngabona ubuqili bothando ayemthumelele lona emasontweni edlule. ”
UKim wama waqhuma isililo esingalawuleki. Ngemuva kwemizuzwana, waziqoqa wabubula, “Bengazi ukuthi uRich futhi bengikade ngikude kabi muva nje, kodwa bengingakaze ngicabange ukuthi angenza kanjena kimi!” Intukuthelo yamphindisela ebusweni lapho izicubu zakhe ziqina futhi ehoshozela ngamazinyo akhe agedlile, “Angicabangi ukuthi ngingaze ngimxolele. Kanjani yena !! ”
Ngokudabukisayo, le ndaba ijwayeleke kakhulu.
Ucwaningo oluthembekile lukhombisa ukuthi ukungathembeki kuthinta cishe ama-50% emishado. Lokho akuyona i-typo.
Ngaphambi kweminyaka engama-40, 50-65% yamadoda ashadile kanye nabesifazane abangama-45-55% babika ukuthi baphambukile ngaphandle komshado wabo. Ngenxa yesimo esibucayi sesihloko senhlolovo, kungenzeka ukuthi le nombolo ibikwe kakhulu, ikakhulukazi kubantu bokholo.
Izizathu ezahlukahlukene
Njengoba ungacabanga, kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani lelo nani liphakeme ngokumangazayo. Kodwa-ke, emnyombweni, sibona ezinye izinhlangano ezijwayelekile. Abesilisa abaphambukile bakhomba ekudumazekeni ngokocansi noma ukungeneliseki, ngenkathi abesifazane bezizwa bengajabule futhi benqanyuliwe emishadweni yabo ngaphambi kokwenza lokho.
Sivame ukucabanga ukuthi izindaba zimayelana nezothando nokuthanda. Yilokho esingakubona emilayezweni noma sikuzwe emiyalezweni yocingo, kepha ngemuva kwazo zonke izinto ukufuna ukuhlangabezana nesidingo esijulile sokuthandwa nokunakekelwa ngokungenamibandela.
Kungenzeka wake wazitshela ngesikhathi esithile, “Lokho ngeke kwenzeke kimi. Angisoze ngakopela. ”
Ake ngikuhlephulele lona ngobumnene- ngaphandle kwalabo abayimilutha yezocansi, bonke abanye abantu abathandana nabo basho into efanayo. Wonke umuntu uthinteka kwezinye izindawo emishadweni yabo. Uma unikezwe ukuxubana kwezimo okulungile (noma okungalungile), kungenzeka kuwe.
Zanele izindaba ezimbi. Ukuthandana akumele kube yindaba yakho. Ngokunakekelwa nokunakekelwa okufanele, ungaba yingxenye yendaba engakaze yenzeke.
"Ama-B" amathathu angavimbela ukungathembeki
1. Yiba nenhloso
Imibhangqwana eminingi engihlangana nayo ehhovisi lokweluleka ifuna ukulungisa noma ukutakula imishado yayo iyavuma ukuthi bematasa nezinye izinto, futhi uma bebheka emuva, babona ukuthi balahlekelwe ukugxila koshade nabo. Hhayi ngamabomu, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi umsebenzi, izingane, iNetflix, uhlelo lokusebenza lwakamuva lokudlala lungene esikhaleni ababejwayele ukubekelana ngaso.
Ingxenye enkulu yesixazululo somshado esiphumelelayo ukudweba isikhathi sokuxhuma njalo. Ngijulile, ngiyazi.
Akusona isikhathi esabiwe ngaso, isenzo sesikhathi esabiwe. Omunye umqondo owusizo ukudala "isiko lokuxhuma kabusha" ongalilindela kusihlwa njalo emva kokubuyela ekhaya. Kungaba noma yini kusuka ekwabelaneni ingilazi yewayini ndawonye ukuhweba emuva ngama-rubs ukubukela ividiyo ehlekisayo yokuphumula. Zijabulise ubone ukuthi yimiphi imibono ezokusebenzela wena noshade naye.
2. Tholakala
Lokhu "kube" kulandela ngokwemvelo kusukela ekuqaleni. Zisebenzise ngokuhlakanipha izikhathi lapho nihlangene ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Ezweni lanamuhla lobuchwepheshe, sinezinto "esisodwa" esingazenza ezisenza sibonakale simatasa kwabalingani bethu. Imvamisa, asifuni ukuphazamisa (noma senza kanjalo, kepha sesaba imiphumela) ngakho sichitha isikhathi esiningi sithule, silindele ukuvulwa, noma simatasa ezweni lethu elincane.
Ngikubiza lokhu ngokungatholakali kungahlosile. Ingcuphe- yazisa oshade naye ukuthi ungathanda ukuxhuma! Uma isikhathi sakho sokukhuluma ikakhulu sihlelela uhlelo kanye nezibopho, uzothola ukuthi akwanele ukondla ubudlelwano kahle. Abesifazane bavame ukukhononda ngokuthi abazizwa abayeni babo bebalalela lapho bezama ukuveza okubalulekile kubo.
Thina bantu bavame ukubona izingxoxo ezinjalo zomlingani njengesimemo sokulungisa inkinga futhi silondoloze usuku, siphuthelwa yisizathu senkosikazi sokuletha lolu daba. Bheka izingxoxo njengamathuba okuzwa isimo senyunyana yakho ngokombono womlingani wakho. Igoli akusona isivumelwano, ukutholakala.
Ngithanda ukusho ukuthi, “Isici sobulili obubaluleke kakhulu kumuntu oshade naye ukuzimisela ukushintsha.” Imvamisa lapho abashadile bezizwa ukuthi bangabelana ngezinhliziyo zabo FUTHI bezwe, ushintsho luyenzeka.
3. Qaphela
Sengathi sidinga umugqa wethegi ka-Ashley Madison “Impilo imfushane. Yiba nobudlelwano, ”ukusikhumbuza ukuthi umshado awubhekwa njengowubalulekile njengakuqala, zikuthathele kuwe ukuvikela umshado wakho, ezitheni zangaphandle nezasekhaya.
- Uma nihlukene, bhekisisa isinyathelo sakho. Izindaba aziqali ngezinyathelo ezinkulu, kepha izinyathelo zezingane. Gcina inkampani enhle. Chitha isikhathi nabangane abazisa umshado wakho. Uma abangane bakho bengakwenzi, ungathola abakwenzayo. Sonke sidinga i-wingman noma i-wing gal ukusisiza ukundiza kwesokudla kwesinye isikhathi.
- Manje mayelana nalezo zitha zasekhaya, ngenye indlela ezaziwa njengezingane. Kuzofanele ubavimbele ukweba isikhathi sakho sezithandani ngoba bazothatha konke obanikeza khona. Setha imingcele mayelana nokuphazamisa ngesikhathi sokuvuka nokuhlala emakamelweni abo ngemuva kwemicikilisho yokulala. Bangakwazi ukukuthola, futhi uzobathumela umyalezo omuhle wokuthi bangawenza kanjani umshado wabo wesikhathi esizayo ngolunye usuku.
Lezi “be's” ezintathu ziyindawo enhle yokuqala ukugcina umshado wakho wondlekile futhi uqinile. Hheyi, umshado uyasebenza uma usebenza.