-Delile
- Ukubeka uhlelo lokwakha kabusha imishado
- Umbono ongachemile ngokukhohlisa
- Umelaphi ofanayo wakho konke
- Abelaphi ngabanye nabeluleki bemishado
Into enzima uma kukhulunywa ngokungenelela kokwelashwa kokukopela ukuthi amandla esimo sonke anzima kakhulu.
Izinkinga zokuvuselela ukungathembeki emshadweni
Ngakolunye uhlangothi unomlingani okhohlisiwe, okungenzeka ukuthi manje uphethwe yizimpawu ezivame ukuhambisana nengcindezi yangemva kwenhlekelele (PTSD), futhi okungenzeka ukuthi bese benezinkinga zabo ngokwengqondo ababebhekene nazo ngaphambi indaba, nokuthi ngubani manje futhi onobunzima emshadweni wabo.
Ngemuva kwalokho unomkhohlisi, ozolungisa umshado wabo noma ozosiza umlingani wakhe kuzodingeka abuyekeze ukuthi kungani bekhohlise futhi aqine ukuxhasa owakwakhe ngenkathi esiza ukwakha kabusha umshado (uma ngabe yilokho abashadikazi abakhethe ukukwenza yenza).
Kepha umkhohlisi kungenzeka futhi ukuthi ubhekene nezinkinga zabo, kanye nezinkinga zecala (noma eminye imizwa ehambisanayo) ephakanyiswe yile ndaba.
Oshade naye okopelayo kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nanoma iliphi icala noma eminye imicabango nemizwa abanayo ngomuntu wesithathu.
Futhi asikaqali nokukhuluma ngomthelela wesimo ezinganeni uma zikhona. Kuyinto eshisayo eshisayo.
Ukubeka uhlelo lokwakha kabusha imishado
Ukungenelela kokwelashwa kokukopela kufanele kubheke konke lokhu okungenhla, nohlelo lokululama, kanye nohlelo lokuzithuthukisa kumlingani ngamunye kanye nohlelo lokwakha kabusha imishado kufanele lusethwe ukubhekana nobunzima bokuphinga.
Ngaphambi kokuthi noma yikuphi ukungenelela kokwelapha ukukopela kungabhekwa kunokubheka okumbalwa okumele kwenziwe ngabashadikazi kanye nodokotela abathintekayo abazobheka:
Umbono ongachemile ngokukhohlisa
Umelaphi osekela lezi zithandani ngokwakha kabusha umshado wazo kuzodingeka agcine umbono ongachemile ngezinto zomkhohlisi.
Ngaphandle kwezinkolelo zabo nemibono yabo ezungeze ukukopela. Lokhu kungazwakala njengesiphakamiso esisobala futhi esilula ngandlela thile, kepha kungaba nzima kunokuba umelaphi ecabanga.
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kulula ukuzikhumbuza ukuphatha iklayenti lakho ngesithunzi, nokuxhumana okungachemile nawe njengomelaphi kepha ungasho ngempela futhi ngokuhlangene ukuthi ungahlala ungachemi? Ngoba uma ungakwazi iklayenti lizokwazi futhi lingalimaza inqubo yokuphulukiswa.
Lesi yisiqalo sakho konke ukungenelela okuhle kokukopela ngoba uma ungakwazi ukuhlala ungachemile, noma ungazi, lapho-ke ungeke ukwazi ukuxhasa amaklayenti akho ukuthi aqhubekele phambili ngokuphelele ekusolweni nasecaleni okungenzeka ukuthi lisalile emshadweni wabo.
Kukulezi zimo lapho kungalimazi khona, njengengxenye yokungenelela kokwelapha ukukopela, ukucabanga ngokuxoxa ngokungabibikho ukuthi uliphatha kanjani leli cala nozakwenu.
Ukucatshangelwa okulandelayo ukuthi wena, njengombhangqwana, nizosebenza kanjani ngezinhlelo zenu zokutakula.
Ngabe uzosebenzisa umelaphi oyedwa kukho konke okudingeka kubhekwane nakho, noma umelaphi ohlukile ukuxoxa ngezinkinga zakho zomuntu siqu okungenzeka ukuthi zazikhona ngaphambi kwalolu daba?
Lokhu ukungenelela okubalulekile kokwelapha ukukopela ngoba noma iyiphi inketho ingasiza noma ivimbele inqubo yokutakula.
Nazi izinzuzo nezingozi
Umelaphi ofanayo wakho konke
Buhle
Uma umelaphi ehlinzeka ngokungenelela kokwelapha ukukopela, noma imiphumela yokukopela, kanye nokusiza ekwakheni kabusha umshado futhi basebenza ngokuzimela nekhasimende ngalinye ukubasiza baphathe noma yiziphi izingqinamba ababenazo ngaphambi kokukopela, umelaphi uzoba nokucaca isithombe sayo yonke i-backstory.
Bazokwazi nokuqonda okuguqukayo phakathi kwalezi zithandani futhi bazokwazi ukuqonda amandla okwenzeka esikhathini esedlule, ukuthi zishintsha kanjani manje nokuthi kulindeleke ukuthi zishintshe kanjani ngokuzayo kanye nezimbangela eziyisisekelo.
Okusho ukuthi bazokwazi ukubona izinto ezincane ezinomthelela omkhulu emshadweni noma kwabashadile, zibe ngcono, noma zibe zimbi futhi bangakwazi ukubhekana nalezi zinkinga njengengxenye yenqubo yonke yokwelapha.
Nebubi
Noma imuphi umlingani kungenzeka angabi nomuzwa wokuthi bangaveza isimo sangempela sesipiliyoni sabo kumelaphi wabo.
Isibonelo, oshade naye okhohlisiwe kungenzeka ukuthi esikhathini esedlule washo noma wenza okuthile (ngisho nangaphambi komshado) okwenze abalingani babo bangathembani futhi ngendlela ethile bangakholelwa ukuthi bakwenze kwaba lula ngabo ukukopela, okungahle kwenzeke ube yisici esibalulekile kepha esingavuswa ngenxa yokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
Noma mhlawumbe owakwakhe okopelayo uzwe enesidingo emshadweni kepha angacabangi ukuthi bangakuveza lokho ngenxa yecala abangase bazizwe ngalokho abakwenzile.
Abelaphi ngabanye nabeluleki bemishado
Lokhu kungaba ukungenelela okukhohlisayo kwezokwelapha ukukopela ngoba umelaphi ngamunye kuzodingeka ukuthi asebenzise ukungenelela kokwelapha okusekela abeluleki ukungenelela kwezokwelapha ukukopela nokubuyiselwa komshado. Ngaphandle kwalokho, indlela ehlukile ingadida amaklayenti.
Ngokwesibonelo; umelaphi oyedwa angavuma ukusebenza nesikole esisodwa sokucabanga, noma ukungenelela kokwelapha futhi omunye angahle avume ngokuphelele.
Kodwa-ke, ithuba lokuthi umlingani ngamunye abe nesikhala sokusho ukuthi bazizwa kanjani futhi basebenze ngezinkinga zabo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuhlukumeza oshade naye ngokwengeziwe noma ukubenza bazizwe benecala futhi ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngomthelela ongemuhle ongaba khona emshadweni (okuku isimo esibucayi) kungasiza ukwakha umlingani ngamunye ngamunye ngamunye.
Ngokufanelekile, kungakuhle uma kungaba neqembu labelaphi ababili abangasebenza ndawonye, omunye ekwelashweni ngakunye kanti omunye ekungeneleleni kokwelapha ukukopela nokwakhiwa kabusha komshado.