-Delile
- Ungabuyisa kanjani ezothando emshadweni wakho
- 1. Lalani ndawonye, ngokoqobo
- 2.Zama ukuphola kaningi
- 3. Zinikeni isikhathi sokuba nobabili
- 4. Hlela iholide njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa
- 5. Qiniseka ukuthi impilo yakho yezocansi iyasebenza
Kubalulekile uku cabangela ukuphunyuka kwezothando ukuvuselela umshado wakho ngezikhathi ezithile, uma kungenjalo isizungu nesithukuthezi kungangena esikhaleni sakho sangasese phakathi kwamashidi. Kodwa ngiukufaka isikhathi esifanele ukwakha kabusha ezothando emshadweni akulula.
Ngemuva kweminyaka ethile yasemshadweni, lapho kungena isizungu nemisebenzi yansuku zonke, ezothando nezothando kubonakala sengathi ancibilike abe yize. Lokhu kudala imishado engajabulisi nezimpilo ezingenayo injabulo.
Ngokocwaningo olwenziwe yiNational Opinion Research Center, bangu-60% kuphela abantu abajabule emishadweni yabo. Kodwa-ke olunye ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi cishe u-15% wamadoda nabesifazane abacishe babe ngama-27% abakaze baye ocansini ngonyaka odlule.
Ngakho-ke uyabona eminye imibhangqwana ibihlala emishadweni engenalo nhlobo uthando nokuthandana.
Naphezu kwalokho okushiwo abeluleki abaningi bemishado ukuthi uthando alupheli phakathi kwabantu abashadile, “ukungabi bikho kokuxhumana ngokomzimba kuhlukanisa imibhangqwana,” kusho uSaari Cooper, umelaphi wezocansi oqinisekisiwe. Ekugcineni, ukuntuleka kothando nobulili emshadweni kungaholela ekungathembekini noma esehlukanisweni.
Ezothando nothando kwesinye isikhathi kungafihlwa ngemuva kwemizwa yokunganakwa, intukuthelo, isizungu, isithukuthezi nentukuthelo. Ngakho-ke, ukuze wenze umshado wakho ube ojabulisayo nophumelelayo, kubalulekile ukuthola kabusha leyo mizwa yothando nokwakha kabusha ezothando emshadweni.
Okulandelayo ngezinye zezinto ezilula amathiphu okuvuselela ezothando emshadweni.
Ungabuyisa kanjani ezothando emshadweni wakho
Kuhle ubuhlobo bobulili kuyinto eyakhelwe ekusondelaneni ngokomzwelo nokusondelana phakathi kwabalingani. Ukuntuleka kothando emshadweni nokusondelana ngokomzimba phakathi kwabalingani kuholela ekuqedeni izibopho phakathi kwenu nobabili.
Kepha konke akulahlekile. UDkt Lisa Firestone uyabhala, “Ukugxila kudinga ukusuka kude nokuthi“ ungalungisa ”kanjani omunye umuntu futhi ubheke umbono obanzi wokuthi ungayilungisa kanjani ubuhlobo.”
Esikhundleni sokukhala ngokulahlekelwa uthando ebuhlotsheni, thola izindlela zokwakha kabusha ezothando emshadweni. Lokhu okulandelayo izindlela ezinhlanu ezehlukene zokuvuselela ezothando nokubuyisa intelezi elahlekile ebudlelwaneni bakho.
1. Lalani ndawonye, ngokoqobo
Yonke imibhangqwana kufanele ilale ngasikhathi sinye. Ukulala ngasikhathi sinye inikeza i ithuba ukwanga, ukuqabula, noku yiba nomunye. Noma abashadikazi bengakhulumisani, ukusondelana komzimba kuqinisa ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabo.
Ucwaningo olwenziwe yi-University of Pittsburgh luthi ukulala ndawonye nomlingani wakho kuthuthukisa imizwa yokuphepha nokuvikeleka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kwehlisa ama-hormone okucindezela futhi kuthuthukise ama-hormone othando, futhi kusondeze imibhangqwana esondelene.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukulala ndawonye inikeza isikhathi esivulekile semibhangqwana yokuxhuma ngaphambi kokulala ezandleni zomunye nomunye. Futhi, ukuya embhedeni ngasikhathi sinye kudala imizwa yenduduzo, ukwaneliseka, uthando, injabulo nokwazisa.
2.Zama ukuphola kaningi
Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuvuselela ezothando ngukuthi ukukhumbula izinsuku zakudala zokuthandana nokuphishekelana. Kepha, imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile iyeka ukuthandana futhi iqale ukuthathelana phezulu. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kungabonakala kuyisipikili sokugcina ebhokisini lomngcwabo, ekugcineni kuholele ekwehlukaneni komshado noma noma isehlukaniso.
Isomiso sokuphola sivame ukuqashelwa lapho ukuthatheka kuguquka kube yisibopho sesikhathi eside.
Kepha uma ufisa ukufunda ukuvuselela ezothando, kufanele ukhumbule izikhathi ezinhle zamadethi akho okuqala bese uhlela usuku ongamangala ngalo. Ukuqomisana kuvame ukukuvumela ukuba wazisane futhi ugcine inhlansi yobudlelwano bakho iphila.
Futhi, izinsuku ezivamile zizoqeda isizungu futhi zikusize wakhe kabusha ezothando emshadweni.
3. Zinikeni isikhathi sokuba nobabili
Lokhu kungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongazinika umlingani wakho futhi okungukuthi, isikhathi sakho esiyigugu.
Kubaluleke kakhulu hlala isikhathi somunye nomunye. Umlingani wakho angaba nentshisekelo yokuya nawe ekhonsathini kanti ukhathele kakhulu ngemuva komsebenzi nasemisebenzini yasekhaya.
Izinto ezinjalo zivame ukwenzeka phakathi kwabantu abashadile. Ngakho-ke, kuyadingeka ukudala ikhalenda labashadikazi ukuze ukwazi ukwenza isikhathi sokuthatha oshade naye nize nithandane, ikhonsathi noma ifilimu.
Uma usufinyelele kuleso sigaba lapho ungasatholi khona ukuthandana ebudlelwaneni, mhlawumbe sekuyisimemo sokuvuka sokuthi uqale ukusebenzela ukwakha kabusha uthando olulahlekile emshadweni.
4. Hlela iholide njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa
Uma ufisa ukugcina ezothando ziphila emshadweni, udinga ukuhlela izindlela zokubaleka ezothando zokuvuselela umshado wakho ngezikhathi ezithile.
Kuyimpilo impela ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ichithe isikhathi esithile nomunye endaweni ekude, kude nasekhaya. Lokhu kubasiza ukuba bazisane futhi babambane kangcono. Ngakho-ke, kufanele uhlele iholide njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ukuvuselela ezothando emshadweni wakho.
Uhlela ukwakha kabusha ezothando emshadweni? Qala ngo- uhlela iholide lezothando nomlingani wakho namuhla!
5. Qiniseka ukuthi impilo yakho yezocansi iyasebenza
Imibhangqwana eshadile enempilo iya ocansini kaningi. Lapho impilo yakho yezocansi isebenza, kunendawo encane kakhulu yamagqubu nentukuthelo. Ngakho-ke, thenga izingubo zangaphansi ezinhle futhi uqale ucansi nsuku zonke. Lokhu kuzokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe efiseleka.
Kufanele uvuselele impilo yakho yezocansi ukwenza umshado wakho usebenze.
Njengoba kushiwo ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko, kubalulekile ukwakha kabusha ezothando emshadweni ukuze ube nokuphila okujabulisayo nokwanelisayo.
Lezi zeluleko ezilula nakanjani zizokusiza ugcine inhlansi yomshado wakho iphila ukuze uzizwe wanelisekile futhi ujabule ngempilo yakho yomshado.